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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate it when other people stay in my house.

73 replies

BauerTime · 08/06/2014 11:40

Me and DH have been away for a couple of nights and a relative has been staying in our house babysitting for us. I know this makes me sound mightily ungrateful but babysitting or not, whenever we have/let people stay at our house, it seems to take several hours on return to make the place look and feel like our home again and it drives me mad!

Why are ALL of the tea towels now dirty but there a big pile of washing up? Why are all of the toys piled neatly at the wall on the opposite side of the room to the toy box where they all fit if just thrown in? Why are there random items left everywhere? Why not just put them back?

Ahhhhhh!

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 08/06/2014 11:55

Next time stay at home instead of complaining about people who've helped you out.

littlegreengloworm · 08/06/2014 11:57

You sound really, really ungrateful. We're your children cared for? They must have had their clothes changed, hence the washing, they were playing. You can't really ask for more.

Sparklingbrook · 08/06/2014 12:01

I know what you mean OP. It's just that they haven't done the things the way you do have they? The toys are neatly piled up though at least.

I think the washing up can be easily dealt with.

Bit brave to start this in AIBU.

TBF I don't like people staying at my house with me in it. Grin

AgentProvocateur · 08/06/2014 12:02

Yes, you're right - it does make you sound mightily ungrateful. And uptight and controlling.

Original poster
BauerTime · 08/06/2014 12:02

I know i know. I'm being ungrateful because I'm feeling unwell and am really struggling to sort it all out today.

OP posts:
Tweenangst · 08/06/2014 12:04

Wow, I would be so upset if I stayed at someone's house to babysit and they were pissed off with where the toys were put! Ungrateful much?

lottieandmias · 08/06/2014 12:05

Honestly, if I was able to have a few night away to do exactly what I like (which never, ever happens!) I wouldn't care less about dirty tea towels and washing up when I got back!

Floggingmolly · 08/06/2014 12:06

Why are you so unwell after a relaxing holiday? You sound grouchily ungrateful and hungover

Birdsgottafly · 08/06/2014 12:10

""Why are ALL of the tea towels now dirty but there a big pile of washing up? Why are all of the toys piled neatly at the wall on the opposite side of the room to the toy box where they all fit if just thrown in? ""

Because the've cleaned round the kitchen etc with the tea towels. The've piled the toys up neatly because it is easier for you to put them were you want rather than throw them in the toy chest and risk you having to take them out to tidy them.

Unless your children are old enough to be able to tell your baby sitter how to tidy up, in which case ask them, you need to unclench.

Sparklingbrook · 08/06/2014 12:15

It is nice of them to do it for you, but I imagine you have walked in not feeling great and nothing is where you left it so you just feel a bit fed up?

Original poster
BauerTime · 08/06/2014 12:17

No not hungover at all. I cannot remember the last time i touched alcohol. I'm unwell because i have a condition which i wont explain on here through risk of becoming identifiable, but it just means in struggling today and could do without having to do so much today.

Its not just the toys and the washing up and its nothing major either. But for example, on a day i could really have just done with crawling into bed, i come home to find they have stripped my bed and washed the bed clothes (which they didn't need to as they weren't sleeping in there or anything) but not re-made so now i have to do that. I had no intention of changing the bed. Its things like that i find bizarre and annoying. Helpful things that aren't helpful. Like moving the dining table to neatly and perfectly stack toys when there is already a perfectly good place for them to go. Also feels a bit like a criticism of our home which quite frankly, i do my best to keep.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 08/06/2014 12:20

Just let them know next time. Toys in the box, don't bother changing the bed etc.

Are these parents/family or friends? The bed changing sounds like something my Mum may do.

cozietoesie · 08/06/2014 12:20

Clean the bath/shower and toilet and then have a long hot soak or clean. That will sort out the angst.

marleymooo · 08/06/2014 12:22

Yabu. . I really hope whoever was good enough to help you out identifies this and never offers again.

Caitlin177 · 08/06/2014 12:23

Why don't you get DH to do it? He understands your identifiable condition so should jump in and sort it out

LogicalPreference · 08/06/2014 12:27

Why don't you get DH to do it? He understands your identifiable condition so should jump in and sort it out

Because he would also do it wrong I'm guessing.

Only the OP is perfect.

KoalaDownUnder · 08/06/2014 12:27

I don't get it. Did you pay this person for looking after your children while you were away?

I was expecting this thread to be about hosting overnight guests. Not someone doing you a favour so you can have a break, and then leaving things in a different place. Confused

I would have thought you'd be so grateful, having to make your own bed with clean sheets would be nothing.

Sparklingbrook · 08/06/2014 12:38

Nowhere does the Op say they are perfect. Everyone does things differently, but people aren't mind readers.

Original poster
BauerTime · 08/06/2014 12:42

DH isn't here, he is still away. And not that it makes any difference but I haven't been on a jolly or having a break. Far from it.

Id love to jump in the bath but am alone with baby DS who will not let me out of his sight for a second.

I know I'm being U to complain about a free babysitter but I'm just a bit irritated that my house seems unrecognisable from less than 48 hours ago. Its not mess, i would have preferred to come home to a bomb site. Its the half done jobs in the quest to be helpful that have created twice as much work for me when there was no need to do any of them in the first place.

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 08/06/2014 12:46

YABVU, how would your free babysitters feel if they read this?

Sparklingbrook · 08/06/2014 12:48

Bauer there seems to be a bit you aren't telling us,

It wasn't a holiday.
Who was babysitting?

It just sounds like there is a backstory IYKWIM?

Vintagecakeisstillnice · 08/06/2014 12:49

Actually I get what you mean.

You are being unreasonable and that's the worst part about it, you know they've dobe you a huge favour in babysitting and they've thought they're being helpful by do

Vintagecakeisstillnice · 08/06/2014 12:52

Aghhhh

By doing other bits but you didn't ask and they've not done it the way you wouldn't.

And the worst bit is it's infuriating, you can't say anything cause you look like an ungrateful bitch.

You're still being unreasonable, but I get it

MyDHhasnomemory · 08/06/2014 12:59

I get it too. It is your territory and guests\sitters should respect that.

And yes you can't say anything so said it here instead. Hope you feel better soon.

silveroldie2 · 08/06/2014 13:13

YABVU and ungrateful. Let's hope they don't offer to babysit again so you have to endure returning to dirty tea towels Hmm

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