to hate it when other people stay in my house.

[BauerTime]

Me and DH have been away for a couple of nights and a relative has been staying in our house babysitting for us. I know this makes me sound mightily ungrateful but babysitting or not, whenever we have/let people stay at our house, it seems to take several hours on return to make the place look and feel like our home again and it drives me mad!

Why are ALL of the tea towels now dirty but there a big pile of washing up? Why are all of the toys piled neatly at the wall on the opposite side of the room to the toy box where they all fit if just thrown in? Why are there random items left everywhere? Why not just put them back?

Ahhhhhh!

Yy better the OP has a rant on here. Though in Chat would have got a completely different response.

I think the Op isn't the only one a bit fed up today.

I get it too. They've fucked about with your stuff for no discernible reason, causing you extra work, and the only acceptable response is "thank you." I'd be pissed off too.

If I stated at someone's house I wouldn't leave a pile if washing up. It's just courtesy, babysitting or not.

I wouldn't clean the house it anything but would try to leave it as it was when I got there. Obviously I'm in a minority there.

Can't see what the OP has said to get such harsh responses. I think some people got up too early.

OP- I hope you feel better soon. I suspect you're stressed with your illness and the reason you went away and this is just something easy to focus that worry and stress on iykwim.

Apologies for typos.

Free babysitting doesn't mean they don't still have annoying habits. I know lots of nice people that do things that annoy me. You can be grateful for the babysitting and still annoyed they're messing up your space.

Everyone on here is full of shit anyway. We all know if someone came in and rearranged their home for no reason they'd be miffed, free babysitting or not. In fact the free babysitting makes it worse because you can't tell them to stop doing that.

Just because someone treats you to dinner, doesn't mean them chewing loudly is suddenly less obnoxious.

Anyway, they mean well. I guess you just have to weigh it up against whether you think a few nights away are worth it or not.

You should just quit now OP. You know you are being unreasonable. You know you sound rude and ungrateful. You know your babysitters would be hurt and upset if they read your thread.
Drop it now.

Thanks to those who understand!

sparkling it was MIL looking after DS but didn't put that in the OP as i don't want to MIL-bash .

Lets just say it was 'family business' that called us away. Not especially stressful but unavoidable.

I don't get it sorry. Maybe because I have no one who would come and stay and look after my children for a weekend so I would be grateful in the extreme for this.

You can't expect people to KNOW these things, if the toys fit in the toy box thrown in how long would it take to sort that out? And the bed, I suppose they thought they were doing you a favour by washing your sheets. It's not like they trashed your house or anything.

If it does bug you that much you know the answer is to not have people stay which means you don't go away.

Seems like a small price to pay to me.

Oh right Bauer. Blimey can you imagine if you had put MIL in the thread title? AIBU would have combusted.

You would think a family member would have more of an idea of how you do stuff. And a non family member would have tried a bit harder IYKWIM.

Did the DC have a nice time with her anyway?

My friend looked after my DC for a weekend once and although I'm grateful it wasn't worth the weekend away to come home to a trashed house (ok slight exaggeration there). Now I pay a childminder to have my DD at her house if I want a weekend away and I come home to a nice clean, tidy house.

I should also have said that I have fibromyalgia so all the extra cleaning and tidying is just too much for me physically. If I was 100% able then it would be a bit of a pain but I would be able to deal with it. I do think that having poor health makes a big difference in situations like this.

Well if I had been your MiL, I wouldn't have left the washing up and if I thought I was helping by stripping your bed I would have remade it too.

YANB entirely U.

I don't think you are being unreasonable op, I understand what you mean.

I posted before, the bed being stripped is out of order, but unless there are other instances, probably meant as helpful.

Even though they know if your condition, they probably don't understand it as much as they should and women of previous generati

Sorry, previous generations were told that nothing (including their health) was more important that keeping a house, do you may be dealing with a different mindset.

I totally understand - had a friend dog sitting during our holidays. Not just one sided favour, as we have a nice house with sauna, pool etc, so she was very happy to get to use it.
We come back and house is absolutely filthy - and we have a cleaner, so she didn't even have to clean that much. Big garbage bag left in the middle of the kitchen (bin just outside, so not like she didn't know where to go with it) - not really such a great idea with dogs in the house. Random things (like pool filter pump) unplugged for no reason, her mouldy food in the fridge, and so on.

Why? I just don't get it. Whenever I have housesat for anyone, I try to leave the house as I found it, surely that's only reasonable?

Dogs looked fine so I of course still said thanks, but since then have always 'just made some other arrangements' whenever she asks if we need her to dogsit.

Everyone on here is full of shit anyway

Why are you posting then?

Oh, I sympathise. In my case it is my own mother who would do this. Until I started telling her not to do this kind of thing, her visits always left me feeling a bit trodden on, somehow. And even worse, she'd do unasked for tasks then be a bit of a martyr about how tired she was. Aaaaargh!

Why exactly do you need to remake your bed if you were just going to sleep in it today anyway?

are the toys that urgent? do it tomorow? who's going to see your house tonight anyway.

Relax about these things.

The bed has been stripped and new bed clothes not put on - the op is unwell and struggling. No point saying 'relax' if it is putting a strain on you.

Nothing in life is free - you either pay somebody for a professional service with your rules, or you accept family help with all its quirks.

I am sorry you are feeling ill - take a step back, get an early night and get some rest.

I know how you feel. YABU but so are they and you can't say anything because they've done you a big favour.

I would be tempted to shut your bedroom door next time and just leave an A4 note on the pillow - in case they attempt anything - saying 'no need to change the sheets, I'll need a rest when I get back'. If they could 'accidentally' catch you in the middle of randomly tossing the last few toys in the toy box next time they're round, they might notice that's how you do it.

My sympathies for whatever is taking you away from home without it being a break.

I think people are being a bit harsh. The Op is obviously tired out and just needed a rant. It would have been unreasonable if she had ranted at the babysitter but she has not. Sometimes it the little things that get to us most and you just need to vent. I hope you feel better Op when you have had good nights sleep and calmed down.

If I came home knackered and found that someone had gone into my bedroom (no need surely) and stripped my sheets off (implying my sheets were dirty?) i would be annoyed, free babysitting or not.

It would make me think they had slept in my bed. Why else would they remove my sheets, which could have been clean on the day I left?!

YANBU to be silently annoyed, although it would BU to say anything... Although even with the free babysitting, I would still be tempted to ask why my sheets were stripped off :S