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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be foaming at dc school

39 replies

Zazzabeans · 07/06/2014 23:21

To cut a long story short, my dh adopted my DS in 2009 after 4 year together, DS was 7 at time of adoption but have been with dh since he was 2, I told the school that DS surname had changed legally and took in new birth cert .
Fast forward 5 year and I have just received DS info pack for seniors as he starts in sept it came in my maiden name, DS who has learning difficulties then told me that he was told to write his old surname on sats papers 2weeks ago. Angry he didn't tell me at the time because he thought he would get wrong :( also he didn't understand why he had to do this and didn't question the teacher.
He got really upset when the letter came today, he already thinks he is different due to his various disabilities, he is very anxious tonight and has started to cry asking why isn't he the same as us Sad
I am seething... I feel rather peed off that the school have allowed this to happen especially as he is a very anxious child to start off with.
I even filled in his new school application form in the surname he goes by now, fgs he even has a passport with his name on.
Arrrrgggghhhhh.

OP posts:
youbethemummylion · 07/06/2014 23:25

No advice but thats awful. DH was adopted at a similar age by his then step dad and there is no record anywhere of his previous name so there cant be any reason at all for school using his old name!

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 07/06/2014 23:25

And .... breathe ...

Luckily you have the whole of tomorrow to ask mumsnetters to help you craft a powerful, witty snotagram to the school that will result in a grovelling apology from them.

Arses.

AllsFair · 07/06/2014 23:28

It is just a simple mistake. It can be very difficult, if not impossible to delete previous names/addresses/phone numbers etc off of school computers.

Zazzabeans · 07/06/2014 23:29

See my ds was born and had his fathers surname untill I changed it to deed poll to my surname just after DS started nursery, informed the school and everything was changed.
Now 5 years has lapsed since his adoption and they havnt done anything about it. I could cry, my poor ds worrying for 2 weeks thinking he was going to get wrong :(

OP posts:
Zazzabeans · 07/06/2014 23:31

But they must have passed his previous name on to the senior school as how would they have got his name :(

OP posts:
youbethemummylion · 07/06/2014 23:34

I dont think asking him to write his old surname on his sat papers can be classed as a computer error! This is also a legal surname change through adoption. For instance if child is called Joe Bloggs child is adopted and named Joe Smith as far as I am aware that means Joe Bloggs no longer exists i.e all documents passports etc will be in new name, the only document with Joe Bloggs on will be the original birth certificate. Therefore persumably they need his new name on sats not his old name.

WorraLiberty · 07/06/2014 23:36

I'm not sure but it sounds as though your Son's info hasn't be updated with the LA.

That's the only reason I can think of that he would have been told to write his previous name on his SATs paper?

Again, the info pack for seniors would be because the name was given to the senior school by the admissions team, within the LA.

It's a bit baffling though.

xihha · 07/06/2014 23:50

It may be something to do with making sure all records are there, if DS was 7 when he changed his name the KS1 sats might have been in your maiden name so the records the primary school sent on to secondary may say Smith, was Jones for example and then someones made a mistake over which one they used when writing to you.

My DC have different surnames, DS and i use my maiden name, DD has DHs surname. We've had lots of confusion over surnames, either people getting the wrong surname, double barreling it or merging the 2 together to make a whole new surname (and even a letter to Mrs my-first-name) its annoying but it's just a mistake so not really worth foaming over.

xihha · 07/06/2014 23:52

that doesn't explain the SATs though, unless someone hadn't realised you'd actually legally changed the name rather than just deciding to use a different one?

CoffeeTea103 · 07/06/2014 23:55

Yanbu, your poor DS. After 5 years you would think you won't deal with this. Just try reassuring him that it was a mistake.

Zazzabeans · 08/06/2014 08:47

I took his new birth certificate into school as soon as we got it. Obviously it will have something to do with the school not being arsed to update DS records Angry

OP posts:
Jollyphonics · 08/06/2014 09:02

Did you tell the LA too? I'm wondering if that may be the problem. When people put their child's name on the list for a school place, they have to do it with the school and the LA too, so maybe the same applies to this sort of thing? Just a thought. But I agree that the school should have, at the very least, informed you that there were some more boxes to tick to finalise the name change.

Zazzabeans · 08/06/2014 09:20

No, I just went into the school. I will go into school tomorrow and see what's what. Th last thing I wasn't is my son being caused more anxiety by all of this.

OP posts:
AllsFair · 08/06/2014 09:39

Educational records retain all previous names

Birdsgottafly · 08/06/2014 09:47

It will be the LEA that hasn't updated their records.

Everything that has your DS's old Surname on, has come in externally.

It isn't really appropriate for a teacher to ask your DS about this, in an exam situation infront of everyone, so it was let go, because your DS (understandably) didn't speak up.

Although I can imagine how livid you are, it's the LEA that have messed up.

Speak to your Education Officer tomorrow.

Nanny0gg · 08/06/2014 10:53

But the children are just asked to write their names on their papers. If he was told to write his 'old' name, then the school is at fault.

What name have they used on his reports since the adoption?

Birdsgottafly · 08/06/2014 11:57

""If he was told to write his 'old' name, then the school is at fault.""

It sounds as though the DS is still registered with the LEA under his old name, so if he signed his new name, it wouldn't be valid because the LEA won't have a pupil number registered under that name.

He would of had to wait for the registration to be changed and re-sit the test, if possible at all, given it is nearly the end of the term.

It would if been more embarrassing for the DS to be asked to leave the hall because he couldn't sit the test.

The teacher made a decision for the least hassle.

It is now for the OP to take it up with her DS's Education Officer (as well as a chat at the school).

intheenddotcom · 08/06/2014 13:12

Schools have to keep a record of the previous name but the school should have updated their system and the LEA system to show that his legal name is now the new one.

Sounds like they didn't do this and treated it as a 'preferred' name change. Otherwise I don't see how the teacher would know to ask him to put his old name on the test.

missknows · 08/06/2014 13:24

I'm slightly confused by the whole SATS thing. Last year we had a boy change his name a few weeks before SATS as his step dad adopted him. We had to make sure the boy put his new name down (which was a challenge as he couldn't spell it) and not his old one. Are you sure he is definitely his new name on the school system?

Zazzabeans · 08/06/2014 14:36

I am going into school first thing and see what is happening.
I can imagine them thinking of the name change as a 'preferred thing' even though I took in his new birth cert.
His reports etc come in new name Confused

OP posts:
Wibblypiglikesbananas · 08/06/2014 15:48

What I don't understand is that DS has now done an exam in the name of a person who technically doesn't exist. How will that be squared? Even if the LEA's records are incorrect, the name he wrote on his paper isn't his, so surely the paper is now invalid?

Zazzabeans · 08/06/2014 16:07
Confused

I get exactly what your saying wibbly and if they think for one minute he will be resisitting them they can pee right off. Because he was having anxiety attacks right up and during his sats :(

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 08/06/2014 16:42

The register is a legal record, check what name they have him under on that. It's been handled very badly indeed, whatever the reasons for it.
There was no reason to leave him upset, or confused.
You can write the report with any name, doesn't have to be the legal one. I usually use the preferred one, for example if the child goes by their middle name or has a 'school name' and a 'home name' which isn't uncommon in immigrant populations.

sashh · 08/06/2014 17:02

It is just a simple mistake. It can be very difficult, if not impossible to delete previous names/addresses/phone numbers etc off of school computers.

It's not. It's a breach of the Data Protection Act.

TeenAndTween · 08/06/2014 17:13

I suspect too it was an admin error, updating the preferred name not the actual name.
When we (finally) got to court when adopting my girls we informed the school of the legal change of surname (they had been just 'known as' our surname up to then).
When we got the attendance info at the end of the academic year they still had the old surname on.

In your situation I would write an email/visit the head being understanding that errors occur but firm in the upset and distress it has caused, and requesting the matter is sorted out asap.

Do likewise with the new school (see admin office not HT) explaining that someone else messed up but please can they ensure the old surname isn't anywhere on 'current' records. (It is important for when public exams come round that legal name is used).