Dealing with bad feedback at work

[Tearyweary]

I am posting this here for traffic. I need some advice regarding a work situation.

I work in an office, and I am usually quite good at my job. All my work goes on to be reviewed by a manager.

The office I work at is run autonomously, but there are branches of the same company, all run independently of each other. Occasionally, people from one office will do work for managers from other offices.

I did some work for a manager from another office. Amongst the documents that she sent me, she did not update a date. (Document said 2013 instead of 2014). I went by the date and thought the document was from last year. As a result there was a mistake in my work - it would have taken one hour to correct it. I put my hands up and said I'm happy to correct it but she told me not to touch anything.

Subsequently she read out emails that I sent to her in her branch. I was not there but people who were said it was in a manner to make fun of me. So everyone heard of it in her branch and subsequently people in her branch told people in mine.

Subsequently she has liaised with my manager from my branch to arrange to give me feedback on my work. This has been arranged and cancelled at the last minute a few times. Each time I feel physically sick building up to the date.

I spoke with my manager and ended up in tears over the whole thing. I am upset that I have made a mistake, but ultimately there were errors on both sides. But what I am most upset about is that my manager knows about my emails being read out and her making fun of me, yet he still wants me to go ahead and meet her for the feedback.

I am not sure if I should:

1. Accept and appologise as this will make it end sooner.
2. Explain the issues from my point of view.

I am not proud that I cried with my manager but I cannot cope with this. I have said this to him in so many words. I do not want to cry in front of the other branch manager but I may not be able to control my emotions knowing that my emails have been read out etc.

AIBU to feel that my manager is not dealing with this properly? How should I react?

An hour to talk about 'My mistake was that I trusted that you hadn't made a mistake'? FFS.

When you've got the headspace for it, think through why you are being so strongly affected by what is truly a tiny complaint (I think she's being a bitch tbh)

I would be completely like you - a mess, but I know that's it to do with my general inability to cope with criticism and my very low self esteem.

Op, make sure you also have it noted at the mtg that the client thanked you personally for your work and was happy with it, that matters too.

Honestly AN HOUR for a meeting to discuss how it's your fault that someone else put the wrong date.

My mind is blown OP!

Fingers crossed for you that the meeting goes your way and that you can get on with enjoying your job/finishing your qualification.

I just wanted to echo what PPs have said further up about not accepting any blame for this.
Ask them what exactly you have done wrong, as I have no idea what it is you apparently have done!

You may also like to ask how you could have avoided it because clearly you and all of MN are missing the point

RandomMess I was really affected because at first I was told the work I did was "completely wrong" - subsequently I was told I made a mistake with the date, and I offered to correct etc.

I do have some self-esteem issues, and I do not like being criticised. My issue really is the lack of support from my manager. He knows me, he knows how I work, he knows about the bullying... Yet he is letting this meeting take place when he knows how much this is affecting me. He once told me that if I had any issues to go to him and he would sort it out. I never had issues. Now that I do have an issue... He is not really helping.

OP, keep reflecting the error back to that date of the document. And keep reflecting it back to the date of that document. Did I mention, to keep reflecting it back to the date of the document?

You are not a mind reader, you are a (insert job title here). You did your job. If she had then none of the his would have ever happened. Reflect, reflect reflect. Be a shiny mirror and reflect.

OP have I understood correctly that you're a trainee solicitor? This all sounds ridiculous over a small "mistake" which is really not your fault and I can't believe this has been going on 3 months and warrants a meeting to discuss with someone from a different office! They have really soured this seat for you by dragging that out and that's awful. Your supervisor sounds ineffectual and I would speak to grad rec/HR if I was in your position just to ensure the issues are on file and they know the situation for reference purposes.

Not all firms are like this! I would be tempted to move firms as an NQ.

Good luck!

Obviously you can't say but I am really curious about what firm this is.

ThingsThatShine I would actually get sacked if I mentioned the name of the firm. It is not a firm issue though, it is an office issue.

FunkyBoldRibena Good tactic... I shall reflect on that.

They are making a mountain out of a mole hill and dragging it out is causing you unnecessary stress. I think the easiest way to think about this is to think how you would respond if you were the manager, as that would probably be a rational, measured response.

If one of my staff did what you did, I'd apologise for not making myself clear and express my gratitude for you offering to rectify the problem.

This seems horribly stressful for you OP, over what in my opinion seems like a simple error completely blown out of proportion.

Unless I am missing something, I don't understand how you can have an hour long meeting to discuss a mistake like the one you described. I work in a similar environment and these mistakes happen. Everyone makes them. Clearly the manager made this one anyway, and your only error was not checking the correct date and running with the one she gave you. If you were continually making careless mistakes then I could see cause for concern, but that doesn't seem to be the case. If this is genuinely the reason for this meeting, then I would take it further up the chain as no one deserves that amount of stress over getting the date wrong on one piece of work and offering to correct it when pointed out.

OP, this sounds pretty poor management from your boss and the other manager. They have blown this up out of all proportion between them.

Assuming the meeting goes ahead, try not to sit there meekly accepting blame for other people's mistakes. Try to stay calm and reflect back that the initial error was not yours.

"Although it turned out you sent the incorrect document to me, at the time I followed our standard procedure to proceed on the basis that work sent from a manager is correct. When it transpired that in this case you had made an error which then had an impact on how I completed the task, I offered to correct the work immediately."

If they suggest (as sounds likely) that you should have checked with the manager rather than assumed, you can be ready for this:

"Yes, I see now how easy it is for anyone to make a mistake regardless of their level and that it makes sense to check." To your manager: "Is this going to be a new blanket policy going forwards, or just with OtherManager's work?"

If, after you have acknowledged that her error led to yours and agreed collectively what to do in the future, she tries to belabour the point or bully you or retread old ground, simply say calmly "I'm sorry, I thought we'd already covered this. My understanding is that going forward, we are now to double-check the date to ensure any errors in supplying documents made at manager level aren't compounded by our taking that information at face value."

Stay calm, stay professional and don't be a doormat. Good luck.

I would write don your side of the story and circulate it to your manager and teh other manager before the meeting.

Is it possible to take someone neutral into the meeting with you? Having two managers against a trainee must feel intimidating. I'd suggest taking a trainee from another firm (from your uni or law school?) who is confident enough to help argue your case and stand up to the bullying.

This is bullying because your mistake has been discussed with others in a disrespectful way to the detriment of yourself. A small error has been blown out of all proportion.

I now understand why solicitors take so long to complete simple documents - it's because they waste time on stuff that doesn't matter and charge their clients a fortune for it!

You've had some great advice OP, but would add that if you've always respected your line manager try and have a little faith in him. He's said he will be sat right next to you, but can't take sides. He has to say this as a) he hasn't heard what she has said yet and b) it would be unprofessional of him to put down a fellow manager by saying he will stick up for you (ie she is in the wrong).

He is meeting her before hand to agree guidelines (to protect you) and you won't know unless it happens whether he will tackle her on any unfairness in the meeting or be a wet lettuce. Try not to give it headspace, its out of your control any you will deal with it when / after it happens. Remember its not a disciplinary procedure it will go away as soon as its happened unless you are unhappy and choose to take it further!

Hi all,

Thank you for the messages and support. (I'm sure that some of you can guess where this is going).

I went to the office this morning, and my manager informed me that the branch manager has cancelled the meeting. So, this is the third time the meeting was planned a week in advance only to be cancelled at the last minute. She is really getting a kick out of this.

My manager has been supportive. I told him that causing me all this worry/stress is really unacceptable. He said it has been 3 months and really she should let it go now.

So we will not get to spend an hour talking about a bloody date.

Thanks to everyone though. You have been absolute stars!

xxx

Brilliant news! She sounds like an idiot (and getting a kick out of it as you say!) But time to put it behind you and get back to being fantastic at your job

fab news

That's great Teary. Now put it behind you but learn from this experience.

1. There are utter shits in the workplace.

2.. Shits blame others for mistakes they made.

1. Have a coping strategy to deal with these shits.

Good news! sort of.

Now join a union!

delurking to add to lackland's great list:

1. Ask yourself is it worth going above and beyond continually at your work when, your manager treats you like this when you would expect him to at least listen to your side - something to ponder over.

Also, the longer she puts it off the closer you are to completing your training contract. Not all firms are bad, don't stay at a bad one, too many people put up with bad management for years.

Only just found thus thread.

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill!

She keeps cancelling as she knew she didn't have a leg to stand on.

Hope that is the end of it.