This morning I had to leave early for my course and I left our daughter with H.
His parents came to visit and after my course I went to meet with them all at the high street.
We were walking in a shopping centre looking at shop windows, when H saw a pair of sandals that he liked.
He mentioned something about "needing" one pair for our holidays (it is going to be only 1 week holiday and the only time of the year he will wear sandals).
I pointed out that he has one pair already, not exactly the same, but very similar (same brand) and he doesn't need another pair.
He than said the two sandals were not the same and he liked the one in the shop.
I said that we are already spending a lot on this holiday (paid for already) and still have to find spending money for it, also we are attending a wedding just before the holiday....and on the top of that we are going through an unexpected financial muddle at the moment and we need to be extra careful with money otherwise we will be in trouble. Why thinking about buying a second pair of sandals similar to the one he got already and he will use only for 1 week of the year?
(I may have said no one (at the holiday place) cares about what one another is wearing and no one will be taking pictures of his feet)
He then said very abruptly "Don't stress me out!"
What? I was just having an adult conversation! I didn't think I said anything wrong and certainly wasn't being rude to him, why he can't talk about those things without getting stressed? Sure this is normal conversation between adults who are tied financially?
So he entered the next shop where his parents were. I stood on the outside, open mouth and stunned, not knowing what to think...then he came back and said he was not going to tolerate me stressing him out anymore...I than calmly asked him if he realises we are in financial troubles? because doesn't seem he knows it yet...he said of course he knows about our money problems but he was just "thinking' about buying it, not "buying' it and I stressed him out.
(he loves shopping btw and holiday is a perfect excuse)
So I said that I don't think it was fair of him being rude to me just because I gave him my opinion and I wanted his house keys because I was just going to go home and leave them all to it. (I had forgotten my keys at home when left).
He said: Just go then, and gave me the keys.
I started to move and go, and he stopped me, asking if I was going to tell his parents I was going back home? but I said I would see them back in the house later, so what is the point?
He then said that I couldn't possibly just go home and not say "good bye see you later at home" to his parents.....
But I did. I just came home. Turned my back on him and came home.
I will not tolerate him being rude to me. I was not trying to stress him out. And he could have spoken properly to me if I was saying things he didn't like.
Setting the boundaries bar up high.