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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Work trying to bully me into cancelling holiday

387 replies

worridmum · 07/06/2014 16:47

Sorry if this is the wrong place but this section has the most traffic and hoping for someone to help me.

Long story short is a booked my annaul leave in january in line with company policy and it was approved. After the approval I booked an expesive holiday to the USA for 3 weeks to see my parents as my father is in poor health and would like to see him before he deterates futher (long term problem with no possiblity of a cure sadly).

Now the crux of the problem last week my work colleuge is now wanting to start her metinity leave 2 months early than planned and now because our department is small one of us must be in the building for the department to run (I dont want to give too much details here as its very specislt field of work and dont want to out myself) and the meritity cover cannot start 2 months early than planned so my boss is putting large amounts of pressure to cancel my holiday and treating gross misconduct when I refused to cancel it as my manager blunty said when I asked is the company going to compestate for my finacel loss (non-refundable flights / hotel deposits etc) and she basically said tough luck the company WILL NOT pay for the loss of this money (roughly £3000) and I should just absorb this loss and consider it one of those things, which I replied no I am not willing to lose not only my last possible chance of seeing my Father before he passes away but also that amount of money which is a large amount for me.

Which is the reason she is quoting gross misconduct as I am refusing to cancel my holiday with only 2 weeks notice and that I am expected to eat the fiancal loss as well as prescous time with my father and my question is twofold

I am unreasonable to refuse to NOT cancel my holiday no matter that it will causes massive problems for the company and the second are they legally allowed to breech their own policies relating to booked holidays to be able to say my holiday will be treated as unauthrised absance and thus a gross misconduct offence even though I have all the documents saying it was authorised etc and finally if they are allowed to cancel my holiday at such short notice can force them to pay for my lost money so I am not out of pocket (travel insurnce will not pay out as it is not covered by their terms)

I am sorry for the long post and if it is in the wrong area and for any spelling or grammer mistakes as I have dylexia and no spell checker on this device.

OP posts:
rookiemater · 07/06/2014 18:55

When you are stating the cost of the holiday, don't forget to price up how much it would cost if you were to take it once the new mat cover has started. As you booked it far in advance it would be more expensive particularly as it may now fall in school holidays.

Original poster
worridmum · 07/06/2014 19:26

thank you everyone for your kind words and advice I am no longer feeling worried now that I know I have the UK law on my side. And thank you Rookie I didnt think of that if the agree to pay me my out of pocket expenses i will factor that it in to my claim

And thank you everyone for your help and sorry for long reply I had to Cook DCs dinner

OP posts:
MintyChops · 07/06/2014 19:46

Even if it wasn't illegal it would be really shitty of them to ask you to do this and not cover the cost of cancellation/ rescheduling. The fact that is IS illegal means that they are total wankers. Go, enjoy spending time with your dad and good luck with the job hunt.

500smiles · 07/06/2014 20:04

OP I'd ask MNHQ to move this to "Employment" there are some very knowledgeable HR people on there who will be able to tell you exactly where you stand and give appropriate advice.

BeCool · 07/06/2014 20:11

YANBU.

I suspect their issue should be with the change of maternity leave not your holiday.

If all else fails perhaps you could say if they proceed with gross misconduct then you will give notice. You sound hard to replace esp with colleague being on ML.

I hope you get to enjoy this precious time with your father.

SueDNim · 07/06/2014 20:22

Fro what you've said, they would be up shit creak without you after your holiday. You don't seem very replaceable, so they should probably try to be a bit nicer to you.

Muskey · 07/06/2014 20:52

I have no advice but just wish you well with this as it sounds really horrendous and I hope it is resolved quickly for you. I am sure you could do without the added stress.

wafflyversatile · 07/06/2014 21:08

Good luck. They are treating you absolutely appallingly.

FiveExclamations · 07/06/2014 21:09

What completely baffles me about these cases is where the boss and the company think their relationship with you is going to go after this, of course you are going to bounce through the door on the first day of your cancelled holiday full of beans and keen to do your best!

Idiots.

I used to work in HR but I can't add anything more than everyone else because none of the companies I've worked for would have done this to any of their employees without offering generous compensation.

It might not be your companies fault that they are suddenly short staffed, it is their responsibility.

wafflyversatile · 07/06/2014 21:17

Baffles me that they are arrogant enough to think someone should owe them more 'loyalty' than they do a dying father or to themselves as someone whose father is dying.

beautifulgirls · 07/06/2014 21:41

I wonder what they will do for staff if you are fired for gross misconduct if you go away? I bet they have not considered that. Absolutely shocking behaviour from the company. Some great advice above. I see you are already keeping evidence - make sure that all conversations are also confirmed in writing too and don't agree to anything on the spur of the moment unless you are very certain of the pros and cons of the decision. You can always just ask for 24hrs to think about the answer and get back to them, then take further advice.

wafflyversatile · 07/06/2014 21:44

Also the tribunal would cost them a lot more than recompensing the OP for costs.

Agree with beautifulgirls. Always say you need time to consider.

whatever5 · 07/06/2014 21:51

I bet your boss is worried about their own job now that your company has merged with an American one. It was his job to ensure that there was adequate cover for when your colleague went on maternity leave and he/she has failed. If anyone gets fired as a consequence of this it will probably be him/her not you.

MissMilbanke · 07/06/2014 21:59

Bloody hell… this sounds awful.

Hope you manage to sort this out and spend much needed time with your family.

wafflyversatile · 07/06/2014 22:07

If the boss was not like this before then s/he is probably getting pressure from above.

hamptoncourt · 07/06/2014 22:19

Definitely call ACAS rather than CAB. They are just trying to bully you and there is no way they can sack you for this, or even instigate a disciplinary.

To be honest, it isn't even just about the money is it? If this trip is so important in terms of possibly being your last chance to see your father, then they will have to suck it up and hire a temp.

Hold your nerve. Tell them you have spoken to ACAS/an employment lawyer, and that you know your rights. If they continue you may need to lodge a grievance.

MadameDefarge · 07/06/2014 23:30

Even if you had signed those ts&cs they would be about as valid as a chocolate teapot...no contract that is in contradiction of UK law would stand up in court.

FesterAddams · 08/06/2014 04:11

I bet your boss is worried about their own job now that your company has merged with an American one. It was his job to ensure that there was adequate cover for when your colleague went on maternity leave and he/she has failed.

This sounds quite plausible to me. Do you think that's how it is?

If so, is your relationship with your boss such that you could have a quite word with them to suggest that they have a chat with your company's UK-based HR department / UK-based general counsel / external employment solicitor about the situation before they dig themselves any deeper?

The reason I suggest this is that if you go the formal HR or legal route you will probably win, but your relationship with your boss (and perhaps with some other colleagues) will be irretrievably broken.

FishWithABicycle · 08/06/2014 07:32

I hink whatever could well be right that your boss is worried about their own position.

How much do you actually like and want to keep your job? This is heading for ending very acriomiously but you can keep your cool and keep open a way out that is fair to you and managable for them: Would you be willing to put an offer in writing that you would be happy to cancel your holiday if they are willing to promise NB IN WRITING that they will refund you in full for all financial losses from what you have spent on this holiday and allow you to rebook the same length of leave for another time within the next 6 months with sufficient notice for them to be able to arrange for and train an alternative staff member?

mindthegap79 · 08/06/2014 07:52

No advice to add, just wanted to wish you a good trip and hope you get to enjoy this precious time with your father Thanks

Tangerinefairy · 08/06/2014 08:03

Hi Worrid, glad you are feeling more confident about the situation now. I'm so sorry you are being treated like this. They are totally out of order. I hear so many stories of unpleasant and totally unreasonable employers on MN, it makes me feel very grateful for my kind boss. Good luck to you.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/06/2014 08:56

Bastards.

Afaik there's no difference between England and Wales on employment law. ACAS and a London solicitor should be able to help. Just mention where you are at the outset. Good luck sorting it out.

ChasedByBees · 08/06/2014 09:04

That is horrendous! They are being so stupid too - if you're that specialist they should want to keep you. If you leave by unfair dismissal during your colleagues maternity leave they will be stuck.

PigletJohn · 08/06/2014 09:23

When the UK company I worked for was bought by a bunch if idiot Septics, I was told (in a managing awkward staff thing) that the thing to do is to mollify them so they stay, giving you time to recruit a replacement, then get rid of the awkward person at a time of your choosing, not theirs.

So even if you think things have been patched up, you may not have a long and happy association with the company.

U.S. employment law and practice are very different, and you might feel they do not treat their overseas native labourers with respect.

YMMV.

NynaevesSister · 08/06/2014 09:36

On Monday join a union. Most will help you out right away. If they don't then you will have their services in the future. Join the union and from this point on refuse to attend any meeting with management without a union rep. If a meeting is to be in any way about discipline or your future at the company there must be someone else there than your boss - another manager (could be HR manager). If the meeting is supposedly not going on your record and not official then the other manager must leave or allow you to have your union rep present.

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