To wonder why men are so offended over use of the word "creep"?

[Rhine]

Apparently this is the worst thing you can call a man, seriously there is now a "creep shaming" campaign on line to the and get women to stop using the word. This is obviously in response to "slut shaming" although I don't see how you can compare the words as " slut" is a slang word for a supposedly promiscuous woman whilst "creep" is a word women would use to describe a man who makes them feel uncomfortable. It's not the same thing at all is it?

I rarely meet men whom I'd call creeps, but when I do surely I have the right to express if they are making me uncomfortable? Why are some men getting their knickers in a knot over it?

Meanwhile, outside the playground ...

Are you always so rude Sally? If you don't have anything constructive to add then why bother?

I'm afraid I can be, yes. Calling people silly names is exactly what happens in playgrounds, and should be left there IMO.

I thought Sally was making a joke

play nicely

Sounds like a silly MRA gambit to create a false equivalence in the way men and women are subjected to derogatory terms.

Because heaven forbid it not be about them, you see it's just not fair that men cannot do what they want without us whinging about harassment and so on.

After all they are just being friendly

I think it's about the connotations - creep implies that he makes your skin crawl and you'd not trust him not to rape you should your paths cross on a dark night - or that you think he has child pornography on his computer at home.

If I knew that people were calling friends of mine a creep, I'd be worried that my friend isn't who I think he is!

I think perhaps YABU - similar to older people's use of "slut" meaning untidy/lazy person - compared to sleeping around, wouldn't trust her with your husband - you may have the wrong idea about what the word "creep" means for many people.

I can understand why 'creep' in particular would offend a man, as it brings up the thought of a sexual predator to me. I don't really understand why it has been linked to slut shaming though. Men aren't usually called creepy because of having consensual sexual encounters.

It's not a term I'd ever use lightly though. Most men aren't creepy are they.

It's not the worst word though. That would be nonce.

I don't think they're that massively different really. Nasty labels for when you don't like the way someone behaves with members of the opposite sex (or same/LBGT/yadda yadda).

Of course, there are some men who really really are creepy, and they deserve all the names under the sun. But if I was a normal bloke, I wouldn't want to be compared to them just for approaching a woman in a pub who turned out not to be interested.

And yes, I've been a woman in a pub who's been approached by men before and they can seem creepy if I don't fancy/like them. But are they really creepy, or just not my cup of tea?

I dunno really.

My dh would be devastated to be called a creep, probably more so than any other insult as it would deeply upset him that women thought of him like that.

Some men make you feel uncomfortable due to poor social skills. I would actually say that my db can make people, women included, feel uncomfortable because he is on the spectrum and can sometimes be rather socially awkward. However, he is not a creep, he is not in any way a threat, so I dont think using that word to just mean 'makes you uncomfortable' is ok.

Creep always means makes you uncomfortable in a sexual way, that they make you feel they are a threat.

I think this is a really interesting one. My take on why men get SO upset by this is because - unlike a lot of other insults such as dick, arse, nobjockey - it implies inadequacy. A nob jockey can laugh it off and even pride himself on coming across as the kind of hilarious joker that pisses women off. A creep? Hmm, no... now we're thinking greasy combover, breathing through mouth as you look shifty at bus stops... No possibility of turning that one into a jack-the-lad success.

I do find it very insulting, much worse than being labelled a rapist or paedophile, in fact. It means someone is somehow intrinsically disgusting, they make your skin crawl, you can't bear to be in the same room as them, you shudder when you think of them. For an example from fiction, think Uriah Heep.

By way of contrast, if I were to mentally attach the label "slut" to any woman, it would unequivocally be a compliment. What the hell is bad about a woman who is less fussy about who she sleeps with? Most women are too fussy as far as I'm concerned! I wish there'd been far more slutty women in my life. (I don't actually use the word slut, not even in the privacy of my own brain, because I'm aware my take on the word is at odds with the rest of the world.)

but when I do surely I have the right to express if they are making me uncomfortable?

well then surely they have the right to express if they feel you are being promiscuous?

How can you possible say that being called a creep is worse than being labelling someone a pedophile?! Calling someone a pedophile is potentially life destroying!

I presume you are a man FraidyCat? Just because a woman doesn't want to shag you doesn't make her fussy.

I think the point is that women are labelled a slut for normal, consensual sexual behaviour or even just for dressing a certain way but men are usually only called a creep if they are behaving in a way that a woman feels is predatory or offensive etc.

One is misogynistic and part of a massive double standard and the other is usually only used in response to a man behaving in a inappropriate manner.

If men were being called creeps for wearing tight jeans I suppose they might have a point.

I think creep must be a word that has changed its meaning. To me a creep is a man or woman who is over friendly with the senior management of a school or business.

Hmm velo, you have made me question something though. If a man walked about in see through underwear he might be called a creep, and if a woman did, she might be called a slut. That's the only link I can think of.

How can you possible say that being called a creep is worse than being labelling someone a pedophile?! Calling someone a pedophile is potentially life destroying!

I was only commenting on how it insulting it feels.

I presume you are a man FraidyCat? Just because a woman doesn't want to shag you doesn't make her fussy.

My second paragraph was meant to be humorous. I don't agree that "fussy" has a single objective meaning that everyone is agreed on. If someone is fussier than I want them to be, I can call them too fussy. No-one has to agree with me.

I'm on the fence, because it is a double standard that applies to men. Getting labeled as a creep gets a guy "marked" to avoid. The problem is it's too subjective to the woman using the word. A creep to one girl could be flirting to another girl.

The most common way to get labeled as one is to try and suggest sex too soon. Girls can suggest one night stands and it's fine, and sometimes even attractive. A guy does it and he's labeled a creep to avoid. That's a pretty big double standard. At least with slut, women don't have men avoiding them once they find out the label.

creep shaming? lol thats a new one

this whole slut/creep shaming thing is twee bollocks anyway, sexism does just fine.

Fraidy Cat is illustrating perfectly my earlier post.

It's a really effective insult to a man because it renders him unshaggable, basically. Intrinsically disgusting, as has been said. Hits where it hurts.