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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want mine or dps fathers names on our marriage certificate?

32 replies

trashcanjunkie · 05/06/2014 20:59

I am nc with both of my parents, due to horrendous abuse in my child and early adulthood. Dp hasn't seen his father since his parents divorced when he was ten.

Why the fuck should we have to have those bastards names on our certificate? Humph...

OP posts:
aermingers · 05/06/2014 21:02

Surely there is a way round it? I mean, some people don't know who their fathers are. Presumably if you don't give the registrar the information the can't force it out of you?

VanitasVanitatum · 05/06/2014 21:03

Just say neither of you know your fathers. Perfectly acceptable as many people don't.

mrssmith79 · 05/06/2014 21:05

Neither DH nor I have contact with our fathers, registrar just crossed through the section on the certificates, no questions asked.

TheSarcasticFringehead · 05/06/2014 21:05

You don't have to. Just say you don't know. I know loads of people who do the same- my brother for example would not write my birth father/his father's name for the same reasons as your own.

missknows · 05/06/2014 21:06

I told the registrar I didn't want my father's name on mine as he had been absent throughout my life. She asked if I had a step dad to put on instead- I said no so the box is blank.

littlewhitebag · 05/06/2014 21:06

I don't think you can just say you don't know who your father is as you need to produce your birth certificate when you get married and your father's name will be on that.

aermingers · 05/06/2014 21:07

Do you need to produce your birth cert or simply your passport?

littlewhitebag · 05/06/2014 21:08

It sounds like you don't need to add this information on to your marriage certificate if you don't want to which is good news for you.

whatever5 · 05/06/2014 21:11

Our wedding certificate doesn't have DH's father on it. Although that may be because he isn't on DH's birth certificate, I'm sure you must be able to avoid putting it on if you don't want to.

aprilanne · 05/06/2014 21:13

i dont know now but 20 yrar ago there was no option ..if your parents were on your birth certificate they went on your marriage certificate in scotland anyway .law may have changed .

Mrsjayy · 05/06/2014 21:14

I was told I had to the only id I had at the time was my birth certificate they told me it was q requirement it reallyupset me I hadnt seen him since I was 3, I still had his surname but they didnt say it out loud I had a aka name, if there is a way round it do it

Mrsjayy · 05/06/2014 21:15

Yes im scottish and have been married 19yrs

ComposHat · 05/06/2014 21:23

little your father's name isn't on an English short form birth certificate which is the only one you are obliged to have and produce.

TrueGent · 05/06/2014 21:24

Why do you want this? What's behind your question? (As in, how will it affect you and/or your children in the future?)

littlewhitebag · 05/06/2014 21:35

I am Scottish and have a Scottish birth certificate. I am so old it looks like an ancient relic all yellowing and handwritten in lovely writing! My parents names are both on it.

RedRoom · 05/06/2014 21:38

There is no issue at all with this. I got married in the last year and just said I wanted it blank. Absolutely zero fuss or surprise from the registrar.

Billygoats · 05/06/2014 21:39

You don't have to have them on? Just say this to the registrar, I did. I asked to have my mum in his place and they refused? But I could have her partner (they are in married) ridiculous in my opinion.

Billygoats · 05/06/2014 21:39

They are 'Not' married

Lauren83 · 05/06/2014 21:42

I didn't have my 'real' dad on due to domestic violence towards my mother when I was a child, they offered to put my step dad on instead they seemed pretty flexible with it

crazykat · 05/06/2014 21:43

I'm pretty sure when we got married it was up to us whether to have our fathers details on the marriage certificate.

MrsBW · 05/06/2014 21:45

Yarp. You can choose to not have them on there.

Job jobbed

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 05/06/2014 21:47

Oh that is good news. I'd just seen a news piece saying there had been a call to have mothers as well as fathers names on the certificate... I had no idea anything like that hppened. We are getting married next year, so I haven't started any major planning yet, and know very little of the legalities.

OP posts:
MrsBW · 05/06/2014 21:47

Should have added. Both DH's father and mine are still alive. Neither is on our wedding cert.

DH's (dead) step father is on there instead (DH's choice)

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 05/06/2014 21:48

True gent is that question to me?

OP posts:
gallicgirl · 05/06/2014 21:50

You don't have to have them on? Just say this to the registrar, I did. I asked to have my mum in his place and they refused? But I could have her partner (they are in married) ridiculous in my opinion.

I'm really surprised at that! Not doubting you but it's utterly wrong that women should have such little prominence.

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