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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

2 year old having a wee outside. Neighbour related.

69 replies

StrawberryCheese · 03/06/2014 18:00

I live in a new development of flats which has a courtyard area in the centre. There aren't many children in the development, a couple of babies are all I've seen, but recently a family moved in with two young boys aged about 2 and 5. They are quite often in the courtyard running around, being noisy. It doesn't bother me because I'm as broody as anything right now . Other neighbours aren't too happy though and when one of them caught the youngest of the boys having a wee in a bush, she marched him to see his mum. Mum's response was apparently 'Oh it doesn't matter, he is only little'.

This story has all been told on the development's Facebook page. Everyone is up in arms about a toddler having a wee in the communal area and about the attitude of the mum. They don't understand why he couldn't just go to the toilet in his home. Someone even suggested reporting them to environmental health

AIBU to not understand what all the fuss is about? Surely a 2yo isn't quite at the stage where he can think - right, I need a wee, best get back home to go to the toilet? I imagine he would just carry on playing and then get caught short. I don't have DCs yet but my friend's 2yo is being potty trained right now and has the occasional accident. It's just part of the course surely. Some of the neighbours are being quite harsh about this little boy, labelling him a 'problem child'. Do they have a point? Am I a bit soft in my ridiculously broody state? Over to you...

OP posts:

rhubarbcrumbleplease · 03/06/2014 18:02

My DH wees in the bushes in our garden and in the compost and he's 46 Wouldn't worry me.

Original poster

StrawberryCheese · 03/06/2014 18:03

Haha, god knows what the neighbours would do if a grown man started weeing everywhere!

OP posts:

Chattymummyhere · 03/06/2014 18:03

At two surely mum should be out there with him and be prepared to take him to the toilet or have a potty close to hand?

I don't let my children wee in my garden though, we have two perfectly good working toilets and two pottys.

If they where out on a wood by the woods or whatever I could understand, my youngest has dropped trousers and wee'd outside by the trees after an hour walk with no toilets close by, totally unexpected however as she was wearing a pull up.

Chattymummyhere · 03/06/2014 18:04

Walk by the woods..

Stupid phone

whynowblowwind · 03/06/2014 18:04

Well to be honest no way should a two year old be out and about by himself.

However, I think children urinating in public is vile. I don't like to see grown men do it and I am a very laid back parent over most things but DS knows my feelings on this. It's vulgar, it's crude and it's horrible to see, so I do think YABU sorry.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 03/06/2014 18:04

Complete overreaction! It's what they do, he probably couldn't wait. Poor mite.

Cyclebump · 03/06/2014 18:04

DS had a wee in the park earlier as he is potty training and couldn't hold it. He's three so I dread to think the reaction if someone like our neighbour had seen.

What a ridiculous hooha over nothing!

Cyclebump · 03/06/2014 18:05

Your neighbour sorry...

specialsubject · 03/06/2014 18:05

Male urine is great for improving the compost, and also keeps badgers and foxes away. rhubarb tell him to keep on with the watering.

doesn't work before puberty - but when you gotta go at two, you gotta go. However he will need to learn a little discretion. :-)

Sirzy · 03/06/2014 18:06

A 2 year old should have an adult with him.

That adult should either have a potty out with them or be willing to rush them back into the house.

Weeing outside is for emergencies only when there is no other option.

Original poster

StrawberryCheese · 03/06/2014 18:08

I wouldn't want the boy to think it was ok to have a wee in public but as far as I know this has just happened once. The mum can probably see her DCs playing from her living room as they are in a ground floor flat. I've never seen the 2yo without his older brother.

OP posts:

WooWooOwl · 03/06/2014 18:08

It's not an accident though, it's a parent allowing it.

Tbh, I used to let my potty training dc wee in our back garden, but it was ours, not shared.

It doesn't really matter what we all think of it, if the residents who share a communal garden with this family don't like it, then it's disrespectful and rude for the mother to continue allowing it. She should stop being lazy and take her child to the toilet at home, or carry a travel potty and then empty the contents into her own toilet.

There is a difference between being caught short and a parent encouraging it because they can't be bothered.

If a 2 year old can't tell you they need a wee and then hold it for a couple of minutes, then they aren't ready to be potty trained and should be wearing a nappy when they aren't in their own home.

CarCiKoTab · 03/06/2014 18:09

That's utterly ridiculous. Children become engrossed in play therefore they almost forget to go, maybe the mum should teach him target practice for futures sake.

CanaryYellow · 03/06/2014 18:09

I think on most occasions it's unnecessary for a child to wee in a garden or in public and I wouldn't like to see it. There's certainly no need for it to be a regular thing for this child.

Even if I did see it though, it wouldn't twist my knickers enough to make me protest on Facebook about it.

ManchesterAunt · 03/06/2014 18:10

Yanbu he's only 2. I could understand getting grumpy at a regular occurrence, but really - a dog or a cat could have peed there just as easily.

Environmental Health

whynowblowwind · 03/06/2014 18:11

A 5 year old shouldn't be responsible for a 2 year old.

I can see where the neighbours are coming from, I really can. If the children are being noisy as well then urinating - not the urine itself, that's not important - but the act is vulgar and as I said above, crude.

I wouldn't want vulgar crudeness in my garden and I can understand your neighbours not wanting it in theirs. A one off in an emergency is one thing, weeing happily because you can't be bothered to go in is another.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 03/06/2014 18:12

i WOULDNT care, I dont mind dc weeing, its only a child they cant control their bladders like us, `111

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 03/06/2014 18:12

I can see why they wouldn't want the new family to do this every day several times but a one off its fine!

Dds have done in a park. I got tutted at. Til I told them they were walking a fucking large Alsatian who was seeing and shitting. If it's fine for their pet it's fine for the kid! Just happens sometimes. The others need to chill.

Youdontneedacriminallawyer · 03/06/2014 18:13

Too much weeing in the bush and it will surely start to smell and attract flies etc. I think its horrible, sorry.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 03/06/2014 18:14

Bloody hell, your neighbours are obviously the type to find fault where there is none.

A two year old toddler having a wee in a bush? Nothing to get exercised about here.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 03/06/2014 18:15

at age 2 i dont think it smells thar much

whynowblowwind · 03/06/2014 18:17

I imagine the urinating is only part the issue.

The OP has said two young children - one only a toddler - run around in the courtyard being noisy.

There are people with babies in the flats.

The mum was indifferent when a neighbour expressed unhappiness with a little boy weeing.

I don't think they are going to be on their neighbours' Christmas card lists.

FunnyFoot · 03/06/2014 18:17

He's two. It doesn't sound as if it is a regular occurrence so I think They ABU.

My 3 yo went through a stage of just dropping his pants whenever we were outside if he needed to wee. I couldn't get it through to him that weeing outside Tescos is not the done thing!
This phase only lasted a few weeks but god I had to be on the ball at all times

softlysoftly · 03/06/2014 18:18

Our neighbours boy has taken to dropping his pants and weeing on the pavement when out playing much to his mums mortification

That little and a one off they are being totally ridiculous, ok if it was all the time it would begin to smell like tramp alley but give the kid and mum a break!

However I would say that 2 is way too young to be out alone though it depends on if the mum is in line of sight at all time and the communal area is totally secure and safe.

DD2 (2) plays out in the garden with DD1 (4) and I watch from the kitchen window while washing up but I know they can't get out / noone can get in. No paddling pool etc.

Original poster

StrawberryCheese · 03/06/2014 18:18

Some of the neighbours complain about everything! Some of it justified and some of it just complaining for the sake of it I think. We are supposed to be having a communal BBQ in the courtyard next month, judging by their Facebook moaning it should be a barrel of laughs!

OP posts:

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