2 year old having a wee outside. Neighbour related.

[StrawberryCheese]

I live in a new development of flats which has a courtyard area in the centre. There aren't many children in the development, a couple of babies are all I've seen, but recently a family moved in with two young boys aged about 2 and 5. They are quite often in the courtyard running around, being noisy. It doesn't bother me because I'm as broody as anything right now . Other neighbours aren't too happy though and when one of them caught the youngest of the boys having a wee in a bush, she marched him to see his mum. Mum's response was apparently 'Oh it doesn't matter, he is only little'.

This story has all been told on the development's Facebook page. Everyone is up in arms about a toddler having a wee in the communal area and about the attitude of the mum. They don't understand why he couldn't just go to the toilet in his home. Someone even suggested reporting them to environmental health

AIBU to not understand what all the fuss is about? Surely a 2yo isn't quite at the stage where he can think - right, I need a wee, best get back home to go to the toilet? I imagine he would just carry on playing and then get caught short. I don't have DCs yet but my friend's 2yo is being potty trained right now and has the occasional accident. It's just part of the course surely. Some of the neighbours are being quite harsh about this little boy, labelling him a 'problem child'. Do they have a point? Am I a bit soft in my ridiculously broody state? Over to you...

*same street as my DMum - iPad has a mind of its own.

My DS was friends with a boy like that once. I stopped allowing them to socialise outside school.

I wonder if they would also be up in arms if the parent had a potty for the child to wee into, then tipped the potty out in a flowerbed. The end effect is pretty much the same and it would seem a bit bonkers to walk a pottyful of wee into the building, through doors and up stairs with all the risks of spillage.

Hmm, no real harm and it's probably a one time event but if it continues it will seem disrespectful (by the child's parents, not the child who is too young to know better). It's not wrong to not want to see (or smell) children peeing in the communal garden.

Again, a two year old doing this is understandable, if the child was four or five though I'd think the child should have learnt the appropriate, private place (bathroom) to do his business by now.

Highlights everything that is wrong about Facebook.....it seems that the whole world is watching out for minor misdemeanors of others so a permanent record can be filed on the internet.

It happens sometimes.

The two examples I can spring to mind both involve 4yo DS - to include getting to him just in time as he pulled his pants down in a bathroom store and was about to relieve himself on a display toilet, and casually pulling his pants down for a poo in the bushes at the zoo - again, seconds to spare. We've never been in the situation with him as far as I can remember where we've been too far from a toilet to avoid bush peeing, so I'm not sure what inspired him- bit my point is, kids do stuff like this and the reaction is totally OTT.

It's a communal garden therefore your neighbour needs to learn that it's not HER garden and have respect for the other tenants/owners of the flats. It's disgusting allowing her children to wee in a communal garden. Likewise, it's disgusting that people allow their dogs to fowl in it.

My kids wee outside all the time.

My 5 yr old ds needs to go when he needs to go.

Whether that be against a tree or on my car wheel in a car park.

I really, really struggle to have any reaction other than

It's kid wee. It's not poison. And we live in England, the bloody rain washes it away before it lands most of the time!

The little one shouldn't be out on his own.

If he is toilet training then I'd say it is okay but otherwise it is not okay to use a bush instead of a toilet in a public area.

They sound like a bunch of muppets tbh.

Please mention the dog thing.. I wouldn't be able to help myself

I hate urinating in public regardless of age. He shouldn't be on his own

My cousins ds shits in the back garden and his dog eats it, he is four. Awful.

This is a communal area and a child weeing in it is a bad as a dog weeing in it in my opinion. Dog owners and parents have the same responsibility to keep it clean and sanitary

Of course accidents happen but if the mother had apologised and said she is trying to deal with it people would see it differently. How is he ever going to learn this is not ok if his mother doesn't teach him? At which age does he become big enough that she agrees it is wrong? Surely it is easier to teach good behaviour from the word go than try to add it in later or will it still be ok to wee in public when he is a teenager or adult?

Some parents now expect everyone to tolerate behaviour from their small children that has never been considered acceptable before. A parent has a responsibility to socialise a child but maybe the fact a 2 year old is allowed outside without a responsible adult tells you what you need to know about this woman's parenting

What I see is a young family has moved into a community and is being bullied online because of her youngling pissing in a bush.

Appalling behaviour by a pack of bastards. In fact give me the link to this Facebook page and ill tell them that myself

I know its easy enough to bring them inside and therefore it wasn't necessary, but really with the communal living thing it is the least of people's worries. They should unclench.

So not ideal but really not the end of the world.

I used to live in a bunch of town house/condo/flats, whatever you call them, in a City abroad, and we had people climbing over the pool gate and dive bombing in the pool, shagging in the hot tub, playing tennis, the whole drunken antics, and the place was a square with all these amenities in the middle, so the noise bounced of like nothing else, at 3am. Now that is an issue for the body corporate or facilities or security or whatever you have.

And there were no pets!

I think this is a massive overreaction on the part of the other tenants. It is also bullying to then post about it on facebook, bloody pack mentality!

The little one is two for fuck's sake. He is tiny and probably potty training. But he obviously had enough understanding to go in a bush, it's not like he pissed up against someone's door!

My 3 year pees up against a tree in our garden and it is also a communal garden. He will stand there holding his willy and jiggling about from leg to leg... I say "DS2 do you need a wee?" and get "No, no , no" when he obviously does. So I say "Would you like to water the tree?" and he says "Oh yes!" and bingo, he wees and no wet trousers!

My five year old can generally hold his wee now and knows to go to the toilet when he gets the chance. But occasionally we've had to resort to a tree or a bush when out and about as well. Obviously I try and make sure they are as hidden from sight as possible, we do try and be discreet about it.

But really, a two year old weeing in a bush [presumably somewhat hidden from view] is a problem and is disgusting? What odd people.

I would be a bit annoyed. His mum really needs to start teaching him some manners ~ it's never too young to start. My son never peed in the garden. The only time he ever peed outside was when we were out in the car, miles from anywhere.

It reminds me of when I was sitting in the car outside the supermarket and a family let their little girl have a wee in between our car an the next one. I had to stop my ds from stepping in it when he came back with his dad, otherwise we'd have had pissy car mats. Totally gross and not acceptable, whether it's kid or adult wee.

My DCs have had plenty of wees into soft ground or into the drain aged 2 or 3. My DD in particular had to go when she had to go. I really don't think this is a big deal at all.

Tthis is a courtyard for use of all the residents, not just this one family. What you do in your own private garden is your own business, but when sharing with others you need to be considerate. If the mother can see the courtyard and her children while they are out there, then presumably others also overlook the area. Why should they have to see a child peeing when they look out their windows. It sounds like this family need to stop treating the communal courtyard as their own private backyard and realising that when living in close quarters with others and shared facilities that you need to modify your (and your children's behaviour) to what is acceptable in public spaces.

For a once off it's ok

I let mine do it in the garden but it's not communal, and I think there lies the issue. I wouldn't be happy about some random 2 year old weeing in my garden!