To think people are becoming more selfish?

[PollyCazaletWannabe]

I'm on a bus at the moment. There is one guy sitting down in the seats intended for elderly and disabled, with his bag AND ONE FOOT on the seat opposite when there are people standing. There is another guy listening to music so loudly that the whole bus can hear. Both old enough to know better (at least 25). Both utterly self-absorbed.

AIBU to think that this kind of behaviour is on the rise? I'm only 34 but I sometimes feel like an old gimmer harking back to the 'good old days'!

Yabu. There have always been selfish people and there always will be. No different.

I think the main difference if anything is due to the internet we hear more people talking about low level selfishness which makes it seem more common.

tbh I think that sadly it's always been like this, people taking more than their fair share.

But it's probably more noticeable now that there is, quite rightly, so much more provision for disabled people - when someone helps themselves to a space that is very obviously intended for a particular purpose, it becomes very noticeable. Because even if he has a hidden disability, I doubt he needs an extra seat for his feet.

That's a really interesting point, Sirzy. I suppose there are more opportunities to share our outrage! But without counting anything I've read or seen on the Internet, I still think that in my own experience people are less likely to be considerate 'these days'.

I take pleasure in asking people like that if I can sit down, some students in our city are terrible for hogging a seat with their bags, then putting their headphones in and blanking everybody. Some are selfish, some are just thoughtless. Still annoying though.

I think people have got more selfish, I used to commute to London 20 years ago and now when I go on the same trains there's a lot more pushing and general lack of concern for others than there was.
I think some people mistake assertiveness for arrogance and an entitled attitude, plus other people are less likely to remonstrate with them now out of fear.
DH says the same thing about trains and tubes, he has been commuting on the same line for twenty five years and says it's definitely worse now. There seems to be a lack of self awareness and of how individuals behaviour impacts on others.

I really wanted to do that AlexReid but I wasn't brave enough :( I am a 5ft woman and he was a 6ft bloke with a massive tattoo on his neck (sorry if stereotyping here) and a fuck off look in his eye.

I don't get the bus but I see it everywhere. they don't even realise how selfish they are I don't think.

Selfish parents are breeding selfish children too.

I sometimes think selfish is they way to go-they certainly get what they want.......

Completely understand Polly there's a certain type that will do it almost looking for confrontation, for someone to say something. They are definitely best left to it. :)

That is exactly how he came across tbh Alex! As though daring anyone to say anything.

I'm an old fart. I've been using buses regularly since I was 20. No one used to put their bags on seats unless they were completely over-laden. Now I see this every single day. Students are the worst culprits, closely followed by women over 50ish.

You don't know really, the guy might have hurt his foot, the other guy may be using music to calm himself down after a traumatic morning. You don't know what is going on in their lives right now, bereavement, redundancy, bankruptcy, miscarriage, exams, terminal illness in the family, they might be carers, they might not be selfish at all, just having an oblivious moment in a very hard day.

But most likely none of that AElf.

But AElf, people suffered from all those things 20 years ago but they didn't act like twats on buses.

I expect some of them did act like twats! Maybe 9 out of 10 people acting like that just need a word, but some could be in genuine distress, you can't really tell.

Having a tough time though doesn't mean you can abdicate all consideration for those around you. Surely if your default attitude is to treat those around you with kindness and respect then that is the automatic thing you do when things get really tough, you don't have to think about it.

Actually it used to be better on buses. But then there were conductors who enforced acceptable behaviour. When they talked about getting rid of them, there were fears expressed in the newspapers that behaviour on buses would deteriorate. They were right.

I use London buses every day, and can't really see any problem.

Aelf - People suffer shit all the time. Most people still behave in a considerate manner in public.

Can't say I've noticed any difference in 20 years.

People were saying the same about your generation then too.

This claiming a seat for your bag thing has been creeping in over the last 8/10 years. I had never really encountered it before then, at all.

There are certainly loads of people walking around in their own little bubbles, with no thought for anyone else. I see seats on bags every day and I find it really selfish. I have no issue asking for the bag to be moved though and usually it happens without a fuss, occasionally a bit of sighing. Annoying to have to ask though

People have been claiming a seat with their bag round here for as long as I've ever used buses/trains, and I'm in my late 30s. (country market town type place)

But it seems that people here are referring specifically to London, which I have no experience of. It's interesting that people are saying it's just a recent thing in London because us country folk have always been bombarded with tales of how people have no manners in big cities when actually based on this it might be quite the opposite.

It's debatable whether people are more or less selfish but I think, if there's a difference between now and the past, it's that the rest of us are less willing to tell others when they've overstepped the mark. We all sit tutting or posting messages on the internet when, previously, we'd have been more forthright and shamed the guy into behaving. Next time, have a word with the driver if you don't feel able to tackle the anti-social no-neck yourself.

I would have tapped the offending leg and said, 'could you move your leg please?'
I am 5'2" and 70 years old but I will not be intimidated, especially in a public place. It's like children, let them get away with it and they will do it again.

of course one thing that has changed is there has been a huge decrease in the amount of space available at the front of the bus for leaving your luggage. Some London buses now have nowhere at all.