To need advice on how to handle this. (teenage girls)

[Carrie5608]

Dd is year 9. Today the year head asked if anyone wanted to give a speech at the Keystage 3 prize giving. Dd volunteered.

She is bright and intelligent. Confident enough to write and give the speech.

Afterwards her 2 best friends came to her and told her everyone in year 9 laughs at her and if she gives this speech they will laugh at her even more.

She now wants to tell the year head she won't do the speech.

This is a mixed ability school, she does get a fair amount of grief for being "a swot" and has been bullied this year. Next year it will be streamed and she will leave most of the kids in her class including the "best friends". She will do nine GCSE's the two best friends will do seven.

WWYD?

another thing she might try would be to challenge the "friends" - call their bluff. DD might say to them something like:
"well, if we stick together, and you back me up, then the others won't laugh at me. So I'm really glad you've got my back. Can I count on you?"

Year 9 is the utter utter pits and there is only half a term left, after which your dd will hopefully find her level with the girls who are going places rather than the girls who are sad and nasty enough to want to stop her.

Let your dd decide what she wants to do, and back her either way, but make sure the head of year knows that she has a 'tall poppy' problem in the culture of the school.

Year 9 really is horrible. I was very ch like your dd op and I knew I was bullied because I was bright and keen. At the end of year 9 my so called friends started blanking me, pretending they couldn't hear me when I spoke, walking away when I went up to them, pretty nasty really. Luckily I had other friends from dance classes and music groups who I hadn't hung around with before. Those friends are still my best friends 20 years later.

I hope your dd makes some better friends next year. Good luck to her.

I would totally agree with year Nine being the absolute worst!

Oh god - MyDD has had an awful time at school- it's a bloody minefield. I think you can get picked on for absolutely any reason at all.

Tell your DD to do the speech with the opening line" I wasn't going to do this because bitch A and Bitch B said I'd be laughed at ....."

Ime girls of that age start to get embarrassed about every bloody thing and they project this on to others they want to fit and standing out is a nono that is why they are being nasty to your daughter, its not fair and used to drive me loopy

I was bullied for being a swot and a geek from Y5 through to Y8. Keeping a low profile (any lower and I would have been invisible) made no difference at all. The only thing that helped was the introduction of streaming and (perversely) was deciding that I didn't care what people said and just doing my own thing. That made me a nerdy sort of cool. But you can't fake not caring you have to really not care so I am not sure it helps much.

Sorry that should read Y5 to Y9

Just to update she has decided to do the speech.

Her reasoning is its 2 days before the end of term and everyone will have forgotten about it by Sept. Also parents will be attending so most Year 9 will be behaving. She hopes anyway.

Good for her she will go far

They sound like the "friends" I had at her age.

Encourage her to do the speech.

My mum always used to tell me "in 10 years time these girls will mean nothing to you". She was right.

Just saw your update.

Glad she has decided to go ahead. Good for her!

I think she has made a good decision. Hope all goes well with the speech.

Your dd sounds like a great girl. It's depressing to read about how some kids treat each other at high school. I hope things go well for your dd this term and next when they do the setting. I'd be interested to read an update if you wanted to. Think this thread has hit home a bit that my dd will be going to high school next year. I can see the same things happening to her!

Just another update. Speech was today and went well. About six pupils gave various speeches so didn't single her out too much.

She also picked up awards for exemplary behaviour over the three years and a few best of subject which interestingly the "two friends" didn't get.

Overall I think she handled it all well.