I know I am BU but please help. Pain of infertility

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Please don't flame me for this, I genuinely can't cope. My BIL's gf is pregnant, unplanned and he is still married to someone else. I have been TTC for 12 years, have 1 child who I am eternally grateful for but would love another. I find other women's pregnancies so difficult to cope with. I am polite to them, but then avoid if possible. I recently changed my hairdresser because I could not cope with seeing her growing bump. I have a very professional job, no one would think I turn into a crying gibbering wreck at the thought of someone else being pregnant. However I am so fed up of hearing about this pregnancy, she is 12 weeks now and we have known since week 5. I know this is horrible of me but I don't want to see them, or the baby, it's May way of coping. Any more practical coping suggestions gratefully received but if you don't understand please don't comment, I am in a very fragile place literally shaking and crying as I write this . I'd be so grateful for any coping strategies. I have tried counselling but the only place that helped was the infertility hospital which I no longer qualify for help from. I don't qualify for local help though my GP because I am not suicidal. My husband is really supportive and tries so hard to help me but I need to have some better strategies to cope as the pregnancy goes on. I hope this makes sense, have just been emailed the scan pictures ( they obviously think I want to see them!) and I haven't stopped shaking since

I was where you are. What really killed me was people saying you just have to focus on something else!! As if you can. I remember bawling my heart out on hearing of a friends third pregnancy. Eventually when I thought it could feel no worse I did get pregnant. As you can imagine I was over the moon. At 9 weeks I miscarried and what do you know: it did feel worse! After the miscarriage I had this really desperate need to hold a baby so that the yearning seemed really physical. I used to lie on the sofa crying but like you I had a child already and she was old enough to know that home was a sad place to be and that was what helped me change my attitude. I had a friend growing up whose mother could not conceive a second baby and suffered terribly over it - my friend could not understand why SHE was not enough for her mother (she would have been in her teens) and I didn't want my dd to feel that way. It was really hard to let it go but I focused on the positives (and there are plenty) and it did not happen overnight but I became happier and therefore we all did. I convinced myself that a family of three (plus dogs) was perfect (although I remained unable to get very involved in other peoples pregnancies or babies).
Years later I got pregnant (3rd time) by complete surprise (after years and £££££'s on failed fertility treatments) without any help. I had a baby boy and 5 years on I very much so feel that he is a miracle. I appreciate all the mess and fighting and not so fun parts because I really didn't expect him at this stage. I had convinced myself that one child was just fine in the interim though and even 5 years into having two I can still very much so see the benefits in just one - which helps me to realise that I wasn't just placating myself at the time: there are positives to just having one.
Life can be cruel but also kind: you have a good husband and a child - you need to work on convincing yourself that these are all you need.