AIBU to ask for your most entertaining anti swears?

[everythinghippie29]

My DS is 6 months now and I'm becoming more aware that I have a limited time to curb my, er, colourful vernacular.

My problem is I feel quite sad having to give up a good swear. I'm very partial to a well timed 'ass-hat, cockwomble or fucknugget'...

What are you favourite child friendly swears that are creative, funny and enjoyable to say?

Or am I being entirely unreasonable and do I need to let any form of curse go the way of all less savoury pre child antics?

Oh bum potatoes

Custard is a nice mix of 'cunt' and 'bastard'.

Just saying.

I'm quite partial to the occasional twunt

We use Blinky instead of bloody round here.

shine your buttons
fiddle me aunt fanny!!
what the for n halfs that
poo, bum, wee

Tiggy lol, that reminds me - they did the same thing in Coming To America, where Eddie Murphy foils the attempt to rob the restaurant. The frustrated would-be thief can be seen telling him "Forget you, man! Forget you!", instead of the original, vaguely similar word...

Ahaha, some of these are great! I forgot is posted theDS pinched my nipple and git a rather organic 'Flibberty-Jibbets'

That reminded me and I came back to 3 pages worth of fun new phrases!

Can't believe I didn't think to look to Blackadder for some real dry wit!

Cinders and Ashes!

GREAT FIERY BALLS! It has to be said in the style of Scarlet O'Hara saying "great BALLS of fire" in Gone With the Wind (DH's guilty pleasure), from which it derives.

How did I not think to use Blackadder quotes?! Sometimes I can be thicker than a whale omelette.

Shazbat is our faux swear of choice.

My mother used to say 'hell's bells and buckets of blood!'. Perhaps a little gory to be a true anti swear, but pretty satisfying.

Sugar
Fish sticks
Mother Hubbard

Dp invented 'you little mother... Goose' had us in stitches at the last minute save!

Sugar plum fairies
Blinking blonkers
Scheizen Heisen (no idea where this came from!)

My 4 year old dd says " Oh Bonkers" which I've adopted instead of bollocks; I don't know where she picked it up from but it works for me!

Noting these down. I have a 6 month old and I have an awful potty mouth that I need to curb. DP hates it which makes me do it more

fluffing baalamb works well

Stone of a peach. Said fast.

'Stoneuvvapeach'.

My favouite redub of a very sweary film!