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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at being left at the airport....

57 replies

evelynj · 31/05/2014 23:28

...so dh & I arrived in Spain today to spend 2 weeks with his family-fil kindly collecting us at airport.

When we got to our baggage carousel, dh informed me that he thought dc2 had done a poo so I said, I'll just nip off & change her quickly then. He said ok & I went to change her, (she hadn't done a poo so was a super quick change-about 3 mins top I reckon). Got back to carousel & dh & dc1 who is 4 were nowhere to be seen. Thought they must have gone to the toilet so sat opposite our carousel & waited. 10 mins later checked toilets & next nearest toilet, shouted etc & no sign of them.

After walking up & down baggage reclaim for about a half hour thinking there's no way he would have just gone on without me -not in a massive airport that I'm not familiar with etc, I finally found a jet2 lady who tried to help as I didn't want to go out past the 'point of no return' exit point. All I had was a 10 month baby who was getting fractious & half a packet of baby wipes, (so couldn't phone etc as dh had all my stuff & don't know his no off by heart). She kept saying 'I don't believe it' to everything when finally dh shows up trying to get back in from no return point.

I was hot, I was bothered, I was stressed out & pissed off & panicking & had started crying. Seeing dh made me more pissed off rather than relieved as it was obviously just him being completely thoughtless & just going off without me. I really didn't want to see his dad & his mate when I was in floods of tears. I felt like such an idiot.

So I tried to calm over the next few hours-staying at lovely villa etc when his bro brought up dh abandoning me at airport & I tried to give the summarised version with a jocular tone & dh goes on the defensive saying 'I thought you'd gone on' & I didn't know where you were-you just said you'd gone to change the baby-I didn't know which toilets' etc. (I am a logical person-I went to the nearest toilets abou a minute away)

Wtf? AIBU to think he behaved like a dick & should just say sorry? I'm back to being fuming with him.

OP posts:
mommy2ash · 01/06/2014 08:37

I think you are overreacting. I travel with my mum and she is very stressful. this sounds like something she would do. I get being annoyed for a few minutes but let it go after that. it's not worth it to have bad feelings ruin your holiday

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/06/2014 08:42

We flew back from Portugal one year, on the same flight were a family with two dd's, a toddler and a young baby.

After we'd gone through the point of no return the dad was engaged in a fractious conversation with the official as she wouldn't let him back through.

Turns out he'd left the baby in her buggy by the carousel !

The official was saying 'calm down sir, what colour is the buggy, go to your Wife and tell her' . His actusl words to her were ' darling, don't panic but I've left the baby in there, I thought you had her'.

She screamed and bolted back towards the door, poor woman

We carried on walking, I wonder how much of a bollocking he had afterwards.

PickledPorcupine · 01/06/2014 08:43

You are overreacting. Please don't let it ruin your holiday by dragging it up again, just forget about it.

eurochick · 01/06/2014 08:45

He should have stayed put. You should have just gone through when it became obvious he wasn't there. Airports are pretty much one way so you could safely assume he hadn't gone back through passport control for a sit on the plane! Forget about it and move on.

JeanSeberg · 01/06/2014 08:49

Reading the thread title I thought they'd actually driven off and left you behind, not that he was just a few metres ahead. Hmm

thegreylady · 01/06/2014 08:51

He is a man, they do daft things like that sometimes. He would just think,"Ah here is the luggage. I'll go through and wait for evelyn on the other side." Just sheer gormlessness. Don't let it spoil your holiday.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 01/06/2014 08:51

Relax and enjoy your lovely holiday OP, thoughtless action by your Dh but time to put it behind you.

QuintessentiallyQS · 01/06/2014 08:52

I like the idea of a travel amnesty.

I once divorced my husband at Oslo airport and decided I would not see him until London. The kids were most bemused.

What had he done? Gotten lunch for himself and the boys while I was minding our table and the hand luggage, and NOT me. He thought I wanted to select my own pick and mix salad.

Dont let it get to you. It happens. A lot.

Jinsei · 01/06/2014 08:54

When I read your title, I thought you meant that they actually left you at the airport!

Unless DH knows that you normally have anxiety issues over this sort of thing, I think you are over-reacting. Yeah, it's mildly irritating that he went ahead without you, but hardly a big deal. Let it go!

Tinkerball · 01/06/2014 08:56

It's not clear from your post how you were reunited, I to thought you meant they had all driven off and left you at the airport.

unrealhousewife · 01/06/2014 08:57

Take his word for it. He didn't know where you were, so went through.

As it's the start of your hols I suggest you both agree a ground rule about what happens if you lose each other.

Writerwannabe83 · 01/06/2014 08:57

I think you seriously over reacted.
Tears just because you couldn't see your husband?

My first thought would have been that he'd taken the suitcases through to the exit and I'd have just gone in the same direction.

QuintessentiallyQS · 01/06/2014 08:59

On the bright side, you both have your cognitive skills, and you knew he had not been swallowed by a hadron collider, or left the airport without you. You knew he would be somewhere.

When I lost my mum in the post office, now, that was scary. One moment here, the next moment gone! She has dementia. I had told her to stay put while I just got some stamps. The post office is by the harbour, with two exits. I ran up to the first postal worker I saw and just blurted out "Help, I have lost my mum, she had dementia". He was so quick, he just said "Ok, you take this exit and go around I take the next and I meet you on the seafront". She was walking around aimlessly looking for our car - but she could not remember what it looked like.

The point is, as long as you are both two adults with your cognitive skills intact, all will be well, because you are both working towards teh same goal: Get from A to B together. It is stressful travelling with kids. Just make sure you always carry your phone and your purse on you.

All this would be avoided if you had your phone in you pocket as you could call him and ask where he was.

BeCool · 01/06/2014 09:03

He was a dick. Especially as he had your bag, phone etc which you are abit helpless without.

He should apologise PDQ. Don't want this to spoil your holiday.

Deverethemuzzler · 01/06/2014 09:06

I thought you meant he had gone on to his parent's house without you.

He wandered off looking for you beyond the point of no return?

I can understand you getting a bit upset after a long journey and having the baby with you but you sound really upset.

He didn't do it on purpose and none of you were clear where you were going to meet up.

This stuff happens. Its bloody annoying and time wasting but its not some sort of abusive message that he doesn't care about you.

My OH would have done this. I can just imagine it. I would be pissed off for ten minutes.

Enjoy your holiday.

deXavia · 01/06/2014 09:07

We also have the amnesty for trips - I'm delighted to know its a MN 'thing'
We both travel a lot with work so sometimes go through airports on auto pilot even when we have kids. I also have the patience of a gnat so have form for charging off ahead while my much more chilled DH wanders along behind!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/06/2014 09:09

Irritating, but I think you overreacted then and are atill overreacting by being so fixated on it now. He didn't actually leave you at the airport. Maybe you should learn his mobile number.

diddl · 01/06/2014 09:10

So you walked up & down for half an hr??

Bloody hell!

TheoriginalMrsDarcy · 01/06/2014 09:22

YANBU! I would have been fuming! I would have given him a right old rollicking, there and then. How dare he go through without waiting for you. Where the hell did he think you were going to be? It's pretty obvious you wouldn't go through without your bags. What if you got stopped and asked for id? I would tell him how annoyed you are now, so it doesn't eat at u for the rest of the holiday and then let it go.

Joysmum · 01/06/2014 09:37

I'm going to disagree here. I have abandonment/ getting list issues thanks to my past. My DD is trained to stay put, my DH wanders off and expects me to magically know where he is.

It sends me into a panic with racing heart and very very anxious. The fact that your DH has previous too makes me feel for you. I don't know what the answer is I'm afraid.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 01/06/2014 10:53

You are being a tad overdramatic. You were not abandoned at the airport at all. Try travelling with my llama of a husband with the infuriating things he does and I bet you wouldn't swap him!!!!

GoblinLittleOwl · 01/06/2014 10:58

You are on holiday in Spain, collected from the airport, and all you can think of is that your husband moved out of your immediate vicinity and didn't reappear immediately. Try travelling with two young children on your own, with no one to help , or anyone to collect you and drive you to your destination. Grow up!

OwlCapone · 01/06/2014 11:04

your husband moved out of your immediate vicinity and didn't reappear immediately.

He went to the far side of customs where you can't get back from and which you can't see. Hardly just moving out of the immediate vicinity.

Try travelling with two young children on your own, with no one to help , or anyone to collect you and drive you to your destination. Grow up!

I've travelled longhaul with a 6 month old baby, a 5 yr old and a 7yr old with no assistance. Even I can see why the OP would be upset.

Inertia · 01/06/2014 11:14

Bloody hell, some people are harsh on the OP.

Just because other people have inconsiderate partners or more difficult journeys doesn't excuae the thoughtlessness of the OP's husband, and it certainly doesn't excuse the fact that he then got angry with the OP about it.

I would have got annoyed and upset too - in a strange airport with a baby, no food or drink for the baby because husband walked off with them, no money or phone to try to locate him, no idea whether he actually has 4yo with him, tried to seek help from airport staff who refused to believe or help the OP. All because he couldn't be bothered to sit still for 3 minutes.

He then got angry at the OP despite causing the situation- and people are telling OP to grow up ?

SavoyCabbage · 01/06/2014 11:16

The last time I flew to the uk (from Australia on my own with my two dds) my youngest went from the luggage carousel room through the point of no return on her own! While I was getting the suitcases. Shock

She was the official document holder. She was just standing there in a tiger onesie with her hands on her hips and a fist full of passports.