Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that MY MIL is the strangest of them all?

43 replies

Chocoholism · 31/05/2014 18:54

(Tis a bit light hearted but true)

My MIL visits maybe monthly, I used to dread it when u first had DD as she always made comments that made me feel anxious as a new mum,now I can sort of laugh to myself about it and just nod and smile. DD is now 6 months and I find her a bit strange really, she is super anxious and always says watch the baby's head, watch her back, mind her legs, this makes me laugh; she says not to let her tilt her head back to look at you or whatever catches her eye, as it will make her eyes go crossed.
She talks to me through DP, does Choc want a biscuit, (I'm sitting in same room Fgs!)
She does talk to me but it's when she asks a question.
I'm writing this as someone else on AIBU inspired me when they wrote of feeling upset their MIL doesn't have her phone number, mine does not and wouldn't call me anyway!
I know she likes me and cares about me in a weird way as she always gets me thoughtful gifts and considers what I want to make me comfortable/happy. I don't know if it relates but she is from south east Asia and is very small minded in the sense that she questions nothing, I could tell her that the bible says we should only wear purple on Tuesdays and she would just do it.

Which Is why I find it bizarre behaviour, can anyone top my MIL?

OP posts:
PleaseJustShootMeNow · 31/05/2014 19:58

My MIL has brought everything she could possibly need for when DS (first grandchild visits). Cot, highchair, clothes, toys, you name it she's bought it. Thing is, she lives in a different country to us and we visit every 3 or 4 years. DS is heading towards his 2nd birthday and we haven't been yet. Hopefully next year but who knows. Clearly she means well but it is slightly nutty.

BilboTheAlmighty · 31/05/2014 20:27

Maybe she suffers from social anxiety? Maybe this is a cultural thing?

Whyowhya · 31/05/2014 20:34

Does your DP find her behaviour bizarre?

Does she make your DP feel anxious as a new dad?

Original poster
Chocoholism · 31/05/2014 20:58

He ignores her and laughs it off, he is used to it and doesn't seem to even take it on board, always tell me to do the same but must admit it is hard!

OP posts:
Whyowhya · 31/05/2014 21:02

How does she talk to you if he is not in the room? She can't talk through him then

Original poster
Chocoholism · 31/05/2014 21:05

It's like she says things like, does choc want this, choc might want one, it's always questions like that, she does however speak to me direct in conversation if I initiate,
Bizarre or not?

OP posts:
Whyowhya · 31/05/2014 21:10

I know she likes me and cares about me in a weird way as she always gets me thoughtful gifts and considers what I want to make me comfortable/happy

Can't you just focus on the above rather than starting a thread asking people to top your MIL in bizarre behaviour?

You sound pretty awful Sad

RabbitSaysWoof · 31/05/2014 21:15

Its lighthearted

Original poster
Chocoholism · 31/05/2014 21:21

Yes it was meant to be light hearted ..... damn it, I always get it wrong in AIBU

OP posts:
MargotLovedTom · 31/05/2014 21:23

Sounds like a combination of cultural differences and shyness. Tbh she sounds perfectly okay compared to some I've read about on here!

deakymom · 31/05/2014 21:28

mine wont learn her own sons mobile number she rings mine then she is shocked when he does not answer (i've had the same number for four years how can she not know?) then if he is not with me she rings him and asks if everything is alright between us questioning our relationship because he went out for a choccie run and i've got the kids

she also asks other people how many sugars i take (im sat right there) and offers me biscuits which is lovely but i can't eat wheat Sad (this only bothers me when im tired so since my baby was born that is DAILY!! (i avoid her at the moment i will only offend her without thinking because im too tired to think atm)

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 31/05/2014 22:14

This is all a bit sad I think.

I know many MILs are challenging. And some are downright dreadful. But most of us will become one eventually and its not a good day when we are actively looking for fault in a person who is doing her best.

I know its said that this is supposed to be a lighthearted thread, but I feel it has revealed levels of resentment and disapproval that seems unjustified.

Original poster
Chocoholism · 31/05/2014 22:25

Fair point ladymacbeth but I say light hearted as we all have niggles and annoyances about people, and IMO it's good to vent anonymously without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't mean any malice, I just have a thought and post it. No one knows me or my family so no one will ever get hurt.
That's why I come on MN, mainly for advice but also to vent or banter. Sorry if you find it sad

OP posts:
Backtobedlam · 31/05/2014 22:31

I agree choc-far better to come on here and laugh about it where it can't hurt anyone. Other option is to sit and seethe building up resentment or explode at the mil! Mine has done some very bizarre things but can't top the not talking to you directly, strange.

snoofle · 31/05/2014 22:35

She sounds quite nice actually.

RabbitSaysWoof · 31/05/2014 22:41

It's just funny.
I like funny stories, we are all strange in our own ways.
If someone somewhere was having a laugh at my expense on the net and I was never going to see it then no harm done.

Whyowhya · 31/05/2014 22:42

I agree choc-far better to come on here and laugh about it where it can't hurt anyone

This is actually a public forum Grin

Tapirbackrider · 31/05/2014 22:46

This is an anonymous public forum, much better to vent, rant, or let off steam here, than IRL.

Whyowhya · 31/05/2014 22:48

It wouldn't be difficult for the MIL to work it out, would it?

Grin at anonymous public forum

Original poster
Chocoholism · 31/05/2014 22:51

I'm certain MIL doesn't come on here she seriously doesn't know how to turn a computer on

OP posts:
Original poster
Chocoholism · 31/05/2014 22:52

Unless whyowhya your my MIL???

OP posts:
Tapirbackrider · 31/05/2014 22:53

Really? That description would fit at least half a dozen women I know - and from the threads I've read here over the years, it would fit a damn sight more!

How exactly do you think this particular MIL would work it out?

As for anonymous - unless we are free and easy with personal details, it is anonymous, and viewable by the public at large.

snoofle · 31/05/2014 22:53

mumsnet isnt very private anymore.
I doubt that the MIL would see it. It depends whether anyone in rl would work it out.
Personally, I name change frequently.

snoofle · 31/05/2014 22:54

It is far from anonymous Tapir. About 1 and 1/2 million people use it apparently. Not to mention all those that lurk.

HolidayCriminal · 31/05/2014 22:57

Mine is not at all dreadful. Kind & generous, even, and never says an unkind word. But she is very welded to routine & struggles to understand how her boys who she raised to like certain things and do things in a certain way, would end up doing different things or liking different stuff.

This extends to food or habits or even sexual orientation. It's like she accepts fine that different ppl in the world like different stuff, but she's flummoxed that people close to her could end up not liking the same things as her.

Swipe left for the next trending thread