Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell SIL she could be putting her DC in danger?

111 replies

Teabiscuits · 31/05/2014 14:14

SIL has just started to put her 5 month old DC into a forward facing car seat. She has a 3 door car and says its too difficult to keep him rear facing, and as he's 9kg now the instructions on the seat says its safe.

I'm no expert, and I don't know the ins and outs of the law on this, but I have been led to believe they need to be at least 9 months to be forward facing. Am I completely wrong on this one, or should I try to persuade her otherwise? She wouldn't do anything dangerous on purpose but I can't help but feel she's being willfully ignorant so she doesn't have to struggle with the seat anymore.

OP posts:
BobTheFly · 31/05/2014 14:17

Car seats should be chosen by baby's weight and size not age.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 31/05/2014 14:21

The guidelines

5madthings · 31/05/2014 14:21

A baby should stay rear facing until at the maximum weight for their first stage carseat, which is 12kg or 15kg? Depending on the seat. Or until their head is level with the back of the seat.

He absolutely is not safe ff!

9kg is the absolute minimum for ff and baby should be able to sit up unaided etc.

I don't know that you can say anything, she had made her choice but is she aware of the dangers of ff too early?

MigGril · 31/05/2014 14:24

well technically if she's 9kg then she can use the next size up seat. BUT they should really be kept rear facing until they reach the maximum weight limit on the seat not put them in when they reach the minimum for the next size up. I would never put a 5 month old in a forward facing seat.

it's not just weight I do believe they are supposed to be able to sit unaided before going forward facing.

AlpacaLypse · 31/05/2014 14:29

I thought the main reason for using rear facing car seats for very small babies was to avoid injuries caused by the airbag going off into their faces - so the size of the child is what matters rather than its actual age.

I may be wrong of course.

5madthings · 31/05/2014 14:31

No alpaca it's because a babies neck is not strong enough. Google internal decapitation, a ff baby is at high risk of its spinal cord snapping in an accident. Purely because their head is so heavy in comparison to their body.

Foodylicious · 31/05/2014 14:32

Way to early IMO, if baby is genuinely growing out of 1st csr seat then fine to look st whsts next - mothercare have a great service where you can weigh your child and they will help you try different seats out.

I think I would have to say something TBH

Foodylicious · 31/05/2014 14:34

The main risk is to do with whiplash type injury as the neck is not strong enough and this can be fatal

Original poster
Teabiscuits · 31/05/2014 14:35

Ok so having looked at the guidelines she is within the law which actually seems a bit vague imo as weight can vary so much from child to child. I would have thought at 5 months the baby's neck would still be far too fragile.

Also in some European countries now I believe they are rear facing until about 4!

There seems to be a lot of conflicting information, I guess all I can do is offer my advice buy ultimately it's her choice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Teabiscuits · 31/05/2014 14:39

Internal decapitation sounds horrid! Maybe if I show her some research she might change her mind. I really don't want to come across as being horrible to her, but have to think of the baby's safety.

OP posts:
DillydollyRIP · 31/05/2014 14:42

Give her the facts then she can make her own decision. There's some pretty horrendous YouTube videos about rf vs ff. she might not be aware it's safer to rf for longer.

I have 4dc. 3 ff at between 12-15m. I thought that was the norm.
My youngest dc is 12m and having read up on rear facing that's the way I'm going when I get the next seat.

There Are seats that turn if that helps.

The information is confusing. There are new guidelines out (isize) but these are running alongside the existing guidelines, so no idea when it will become mandatory to rf till 15m.

turdfairynomore · 31/05/2014 14:45

I was the car behind an accident that caused the death of a young boy by internal decapitation. It was 13 years ago and I still won't drive along that road and the image of him and his poor dad who was uninjured but hysterical will never leave me. He was 11 and wearing a helmet in a kit car to protect him but in a head on crash it caused the injury. Please ask her to take advice. If that can happen in an 11 year old it can happen in an infant.

littlemslazybones · 31/05/2014 14:47

Well I'm a bit worried about this one. My heffalump is 20wo, 9kg and is beginning to outgrow his rear facing seat. His head is already out the car seat by about 2cm. Where do you go to work what to do with the factors around risk on the one? Crossing my fingers and hoping he doesn't get much longer doesn't seem a solution.

crashboombang · 31/05/2014 14:50

Tell her if she wants to do the best thing for her child she will stick him back in his infant seat til shes done some research. Rearfacing.co.uk, rear facing toddlers, carseat.se , British medical journal.

The way the British public view car seat safety is a joke. Parents spend longer choosing and researching prams than they do car seats! So much competition to get them in the next size compromising safety.

If this was my sister I would repeatedly tell her if your child was in an accident now the outcome would not be good.

5madthings · 31/05/2014 14:52

You can get rf seats that go up to a higher weight limit and for children aged up to 3-4 littlems

Have you taken the head hugger bit out, some seats have a bit that you should take out as they get bigger so they fit properly.

Also check straps etc and no wearing coats or snowsuit etc (not an issue in summer).

How long is he? Does he have a long body? My boys were all big, ie off the charts big but still fitted in fist stage carseat until age oneish?

Which carseat do you have?

crashboombang · 31/05/2014 14:52

Little miss.... Go onto fb rear facing the way forward and post PIC of your little one. Is his head really over seat? If so that's unusual! Or have you not removed the insert from underneath (its well hidden!)

Igggi · 31/05/2014 14:52

Turdfairy, are you saying it was the helmet that causes the fatal injury? Mine sometimes have their cycle helmet on in the car, no more! Sorry you had to go through that.

OP you're not preaching if she genuinely doesn't know it's more dangerous, we need info to make informed choices. I kept dc2 in his first seat far longer than dc1, and in one vehicle we've been able to fit a Britax 2 way elite, which should keep him rf till four I think.

HRHQueenMe · 31/05/2014 14:56

There is so much knowledge and information out there about why babies and kids should rearface in their car seats, its ridiculous that people still dont educate themselves and keep their children safe!!! (Rant over sorry!)

This short video explains it really well

[ Rear facing vs forward facing car seats]

gamerchick · 31/05/2014 14:57

Sod that, I would be rear facing at all times if I could.

Hunt out some crash dummy videos on YouTube ff vs rf and at least she can make a more informed choice.

littlemslazybones · 31/05/2014 14:57

There is an insert? Will go have a look. Can't post pics because I'm on the tablet but he's pushing out of 6-9 month baby grows.

Thanks for the link, I never had this with the other two.

littlemslazybones · 31/05/2014 14:59

He's in a bebe comfort car seat, maybe it particularly small?

crashboombang · 31/05/2014 15:00

As for the 3 door car.

Use a base, click in seat.
Use front seat, turn off airbag
Buy a new car/use partners if 4dr.
Put up with inconvienance if it means child safer!

All solutions!

Original poster
Teabiscuits · 31/05/2014 15:00

Wow there is some scary stuff on the internet about this - now I'm questioning my 3 dcs safety! DC1 and DC2 are in high backed boosters. DC3 is 11 months and still rear facing. Expecting DC4 in september and we are getting a multimac. This scored well in WHICH tests, and they test over and above regulations. It's shocking how different UK is from Scandinavia on this subject.

OP posts:
Original poster
Teabiscuits · 31/05/2014 15:01

DC1 and DC2 are 7 and 5

OP posts:
HRHQueenMe · 31/05/2014 15:02

Having bought many ERF seats over the years (am CM and have ERF's for all mindees under 4) I can highly recommend
www.securatot.co.uk
link
Run by 2 very knowledgable mums their service and aftercare is superb. They stock all the ERF seats and will give you advice over the phone or email.