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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL doesn't even have my phone number

62 replies

WorkingBling · 31/05/2014 08:01

Dh and I have been together 9 years, married for 5, one ds. Turns out that she doesn't even have my number. Dh thinks I am being ridiculous but I m very hurt. AIBU?

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 31/05/2014 08:02

Sounds brilliant to me. Mine has a key :(

londonrach · 31/05/2014 08:02

Have you ever given it to her

treaclesoda · 31/05/2014 08:02

I've been with my DH for 20 years, married 15. I'm pretty sure my MIL doesn't have my number. I've never given it a second thought.

tumbletumble · 31/05/2014 08:03

DH and I have been together for 17 years and MIL doesn't have mine. This is a good thing Smile

KaFayOLay · 31/05/2014 08:03

Why would she need it?
Do you have a landline?

None of my il's have my number, can't see why they'd need it.

Janethegirl · 31/05/2014 08:04

I'd consider it a positive bonus Grin

snickers251 · 31/05/2014 08:04

My mil has my number but she doesn't make any effort with me or dh her son. Doesn't send birthday cards or presents for her grandchildren or bothers to make an effort to see any us.

We live ten minutes down the road Hmm

PookBob · 31/05/2014 08:04

I have been with DP for 10 yrs, two kids, and MIL does not have my number. And I intend to keep it that way! She is a lady who likes to send "tipsy text messages" in the middle of the night :)

If she has your DH's number, I can't really see why this would be an issue.

SanityClause · 31/05/2014 08:06

My MIL would not use a mobile phone number, except in a dire emergency. So, I doubt very much she has mine. She does have our hom number, of course, but is of the opinion that it is not her place to telephone DH, so rarely calls unless she wants something.

SaucyJack · 31/05/2014 08:11

Do you have hers?

TBH, if you've got nine years in without ever texting each other then YABU to find it offensive now.

wigglesrock · 31/05/2014 08:14

Mine has my mobile number - she very rarely uses it. Sometimes she rings me if she spots something for the kids when out shopping & wants to check sizes or if she wants some ideas for dhs Christmas stocking he's 43. And I get a text from her when they're on holiday. She texts in capitals & she uses as little words as possible Smile , so it's a bit like a shouty telegram.

Original poster
WorkingBling · 31/05/2014 08:14

I text her. She doesn't reply. I always thought it was because she isn't great at text. I don't need her to have it in her phone. Written on a scrap of paper in her study is fine so that he could reach me of necessary.

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 31/05/2014 08:17

That's a bit different. You text her so probably she can tell from your messages that its you (or at least asked her son who on earth could all these messages be coming from) so she could have saved it. Only she hasn't, nor has she replied. That's just bit rude.

Sleepyfergus · 31/05/2014 08:18

I think feeling "hurt" is a massive over reaction. If it's such a big deal, just give it to her. Sheesh!

Inkspellme · 31/05/2014 08:20

I've been with my dh 25 years. MIL doesn't have my mobile number. I don't have hers. If I had needed hers or her mine by now we the issue would have arisen. It never has.

Is it that you want a closer relationship with your MIL? If it is why don't you try getting closer - phone calls, lunch invites etc.

Other than that I just can't see the issue.

Original poster
WorkingBling · 31/05/2014 08:20

I have given it to her for pity's sake. I have called, and texted. I engage with her. I don't even cAre that she doesn't have it saved in her phone but I can't understand why she doesn't have it noted somewhere. We don't live round the corner so if there's an issue, she needs to be able to call. I just find it very upsetting that clearly she doesn't see me as an emergency contact for dh.

OP posts:
Spurious · 31/05/2014 08:21

I have a great relationship with my MIL, been married for 12 years.

We both have iPhones. She doesn't have my number and I've never been asked for it. She's a landline fan.

ShatnersBassoon · 31/05/2014 08:21

She doesn't understand how to work a mobile. She does have your number, you've been texting her for years. She just doesn't know what to do with it, or how to respond to a text message.

EvaBeaversProtege · 31/05/2014 08:23

She's not that into you Grin

Original poster
WorkingBling · 31/05/2014 08:24

And perhaps I should clarify that wedo not have a land line.

OP posts:
Spurious · 31/05/2014 08:26

Well that's different then.

tumbletumble · 31/05/2014 08:27

Is she rubbish with mobiles generally or does she text other people? If it's the latter I can see why you're hurt.

Original poster
WorkingBling · 31/05/2014 08:28

She's rubbish with mobiles. Hence I don't expect her to text or even to have my number saved in her phone. But I assume she has an old fashioned address book for her numbers. Why aren't i in there?

OP posts:
Stripytop · 31/05/2014 08:28

My mil, who I get on well with, never responds to my texts, or admits to getting them. V strange as she does 'do' texting. I've just put it down to it being a level of communication too far for as she very rarely rings me, and would never 'pop round'. That's just how it is and it's fine.

treaclesoda · 31/05/2014 08:31

ah, well, now that you've said you don't have a land line, that's different. Yes, that's quite strange to me.

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