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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL doesn't even have my phone number

62 replies

WorkingBling · 31/05/2014 08:01

Dh and I have been together 9 years, married for 5, one ds. Turns out that she doesn't even have my number. Dh thinks I am being ridiculous but I m very hurt. AIBU?

OP posts:

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 31/05/2014 08:33

How do you know she doesn't have it somewhere? Does she call your DH?

eurochick · 31/05/2014 08:36

I'm the same. I'm not hurt. If she wants to say something to me, my husband hands me the phone when he finishes talking to her. I doubt he has my parents' number either.

We've been together 11years and married for nearly 4. And I'm not bothered in the slightest.

FunkyBoldRibena · 31/05/2014 08:41

She has had texts from you so she has it somewhere. Perhaps she just isn't a 'worst case scenario' type of person. Or perhaps she is a complete mare.

Question is - are you going to get upset or just let it go? Makes no odds to her.

BikeRunSki · 31/05/2014 08:45

My mil doesn't really get m

magpiegin · 31/05/2014 08:46

My MIL doesn't have mine, my parents don't have my husband's number. I see why they should have them but find it hard to care if they do or not.

BikeRunSki · 31/05/2014 08:49

My mil doesn't get the whole mobile phone culture. If she wants to ring someone she used the landline. If we're not in, she leaves a message. She has a mobile phone that lived in the boot of her car for emergencies. It had her home number and the RAC in it. When she did have a road accident it was flat. She wouldn't have a scooby if someone had sent her a text.

So maybe your mil just doesn't "do" mobiles?

SanityClause · 31/05/2014 08:50

If she's rubbish with mobiles, why don't you suggest, next time you see her, that you put your number in her phone, in case of an emergency. Also, give her it written out nicely on a piece of card or paper.

My PIL have a mobile phone, but they only charge it up to take on holiday, or on a long journey. It's just not part of their life.

Doinmummy · 31/05/2014 09:00

How old is she Op?

In the 'olden' days people only had land lines and managed to cope/contact each other in emergencies.

Some people just don't do mobiles though

It sounds as if you are hurt because you're not seen as important enough to her for her to bother having your number. Although how do you know for definite that she hasn't got it in a drawer/ back of her diary/ address book?

EyeMyrrhSlapHer · 31/05/2014 09:02

I have been with my DH for 13 years (one DC) and have never even met my MIL

Doinmummy · 31/05/2014 09:05

Has she ever said that she has not got your number and doesn't want it either?

Original poster

WorkingBling · 31/05/2014 10:09

She told dh she didn't have it. Chalked up to her own uselessness. And has acknowledged that. I am trying to accept it's just her being crap rather than it being personal but I still struggle to understand why she wouldn't make some effort to have scribbled it on a piece of paper somewhere. Oh well. One of those things I guess.

OP posts:

mercibucket · 31/05/2014 10:28

not everyone is that good with mobiles
but i have to say i would be horrified if mil kept texting me. does she reply? does she even have a contract?

my parents are payg. in fact, they change provider so often i dont have their mob nos half the time. they never tell me when they change no as it isnt an important means of communication for them. maybe mil is like that. oldskool.

mil doesnt have my mob no and i dont have hers. we have landlines.

Nimby69 · 31/05/2014 10:31

I'm aware there is a certain generation that can consider a text at the wrong time of day or evening, intrusive.
In the same way I don't like to be phoned early at weekends or after 9 at night.

Doinmummy · 31/05/2014 10:35

She told dh she didn't have it

So why didn't DH say "ill scribble it down for you then "?

Prob solved

LuluJakey1 · 31/05/2014 10:46

My MIL - who is fantastic and I love her to bits- has mine and I have hers, but we hardly ever use them. Both use our phones but we live 130 miles apart and just don't text/ring each other on them very often, in fact rarely.

Ring at night on landline and she speaks to DH and/or me depending.

emms1981 · 31/05/2014 12:26

Mine has mine and I have hers but she sends my husband face book messages instead (I don't have facebook) and chooses to ignore my texts. Oh well

FunLovinBunster · 31/05/2014 12:33

Sounds good to me.
I never contact my MiL, unless its a Mother's Day or birthday/Xmas/Easter card etc because my lovely SiL and BiL accused me of interfering in their family by ringing her to say hello!!! Fuckwits.

Standinginline · 31/05/2014 12:34

My MIL doesn't have my number ; if she wants anything she'll go through my partner. Think you're being a bit sensitive ...

FunLovinBunster · 31/05/2014 12:36

And I was ordered to remove my DPs entire contact details from my phone!
(DP didn't stand up for me, the twat. Now I realise I am better than them and they've done me a favour.)

wheresthelight · 31/05/2014 12:39

Yanbu, I would be hurt too if dp and I had been together that long.

My dp's family all contact me rather than dp as he works nights. We have the reverse, he gets upset that they text/ring me rather than him

Revengeofthechocolatebunny · 31/05/2014 13:18

My ex-MIL never had my number as she was in the habit of getting lairy drunk every night and phoning up at 3am about some imagined incoherent offence that she wanted resolving immediately.

If you could understand what she was saying that was.

hackmum · 31/05/2014 13:29

OP, your MIL is probably really irritated that you don't have a landline. It's a generational thing (I'm 50+): I'm perfectly au fait with mobiles and other new technology, but I feel annoyed with people who don't have landlines.

Also she obviously does have your mobile number because, as someone else said, you often text her, and therefore assuming she doesn't think "Who is this weirdo who keeps on texting me?", she will have your number. All she has to do is hit reply.

I wouldn't worry about it - though as usual with these threads, I assume this is just one grievance against your MIL and there are a whole load of others.

Andrewofgg · 31/05/2014 13:29

I wish my MIL hadn't had ours . .

diddl · 31/05/2014 13:35

ILs haven't got any of our handy nos.

Actually, neither has my Dad.

Can#t see it as a problem tbh.

They do of course have the house phone no.

diddl · 31/05/2014 13:39

Only just seen that you don't have a landline.

If that was the case for us, I'm pretty sure that MIL would only want my husband's number.

Would be fine by me.

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