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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think if your child isn't in the buggy you should fold it down.

87 replies

gotnotimeforthat · 30/05/2014 11:52

I was was waiting for the bus yesterday and noticed that there was 3 pushchairs including my own waiting to get on. The lady in front noticed this too and folded down her pushchair as her daughter was walking around anyway.

We got on and the other couple with a baby had taken up the whole of the buggy spaces even though baby was sitting on mums knee.

They refused to fold the pushchair down so I had to fold my own waking my DS in the process. I had to stand the frame flat against the fold up seats so everytime the bus accelerated or used the breaks it would swing back and forth so partner had to stand holding the frame for the entire journey.

AIBU to think If your oversized bulky pushchair is empty you should fold it down if somebody else needs to use the bay?

OP posts:
naty1 · 30/05/2014 18:17

Imo a sling is impractical as they get older i weigh 9st i cant carry around a 2st plus 2yr old all day (its hard enough lugging a pregnant belly around when you have that)
Plus changing stuff etc

ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 18:28

When they get older their naps are predictable so you can just avoid bus travel at nap time.

I think it's personal preference, I was never precious about ds's naps, I'd pick him up even when he was napping if it was a long journey as I didn't want to leave him unattended in the pram and I wanted to sit down, I'd also take him out of the carseat when he was sleeping so he was a pretty flexible napper, sometimes he'd wake up, have some milk and go back to sleep often he'd just stay asleep. If it's important to you that your child naps undisturbed then that is your problem to solve either by using a sling or proposing travel.

Everyone has their own reasons to do things, you may feel your reasons are very important but you don't know other people's reasons. Op asked if they could fold, they said no, so it was tough luck, there were options op could have taken to protect her child's nap but op choose not to take those options, she can't expect other people to be inconvenienced by her choices.

FriedaMensch · 30/05/2014 18:32

she can't expect other people to be inconvenienced by her choices

But you are advocating other people being inconvenienced by your choices! Confused

ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 18:36

No, I don't expect other people to fold their pram as I'm unable/unwilling to fold mine. I just take responsibility for my decision and wait for the next bus.

Pram places are like normal seats, the person using the space first is entitled to that space unless someone who is unable to stand/a wheelchair user gets on and needs the space.

FriedaMensch · 30/05/2014 18:51

See, I would take the view that if I could help someone not have to wait for the next bus, then I would try to do so, even if it was inconvenient for me.
Not because anyone is entitled to anything, just because it's the nice thing to do.
If we're sitting on the bus and it's busy, DH or I will take DD onto our lap. DD is 6, pays for a ticket, is "entitled" to a seat - but I don't want people to stand if they don't have to, even if they are perfectly capable of doing so.

ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 18:57

Yes, I would help someone if I could. The problem is that I am not willing to risk folding my pushchair, then having to get up and unfold my pushchair when the bus is moving ( the bus driver stops for about 3 seconds at each stop) whilst holding my toddler as I would be worried that I'd fall over and hurt ds or my unborn baby.I wouldn't take that risk, I'd rather wait for the next bus so I don't see why I should take that risk for someone else who has the choice to fold or wait.

ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 19:01

Should the parent with a sleeping baby fold for me as my pram is hard to dismantle and I'm pregnant so find it hard to carry ds and dismantle/resemble my pram? No ofcourse they shouldn't, I should either wait for the next bus or deal with the difficulties of dismantling my pram. I'd always choose to wait, that is my "fault" but I have the choice of carrying ds in a sling or buying a foldable pushchair but I have chosen not to do those things so I have to deal with the consequences of my actions.

parallax80 · 30/05/2014 19:03

I am clearly having a bad brain day, but I'm struggling to get my head round this.

In most of our local buses, an unfolded buggy takes up the wheelchair space and renders 2 normal seats unusable. 2 people with folded buggies in the luggage area could sit with children on their knee leaving space for prob 3 people to stand. So in rush hour, you would happily make a parent with child, and 2 or 3 potential standers wait for the next bus?

parallax80 · 30/05/2014 19:03

(Disclaimer: there may not be a rush hour in Sweden, I don't know)

ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 19:07

The buses are never that busy, without a pushchair I have never not been able to get on a bus.

The buses I use have 3 fold down seats, a pram or wheelchair each take up one space so 3 fit in side by side unless you have a bugaboo donkey that takes up1.5 spaces

MrsKoala · 30/05/2014 19:09

parallax - it depends on your buggy tho. my dismantled buggy takes up virtually the same footprint as it does when up. i would have to lean the seat against it too and everytime the bus stopped it would probably crash forward into someones legs.

JodieGarberJacob · 30/05/2014 19:13

Why would anyone be unfolding a buggy on a bus? You hoick the baby under one arm, holding 2 bags of shopping and your toddler with one hand then you grab your folded buggy with your free hand and disembark. Once you are out then you put your shopping down and toddler, if safe, then put the buggy up. Women have been doing it for years. And this crap about not wanting a foldable buggy to take on public transport, it's bloody selfish.

ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 19:24

I can just about carry my massive toddler and my handbag, carrying shopping and an unfolded buggy is beyond my skills. I am the least agile person I know and I am dyslexic which seems to effect my ability to remember things, if I have more than one bag to remember I will loose one ( I left a present for ds on the train this week because I had 2 bags and somehow misplaced one of them, it cost 30 pounds I was very sad :( ) my coping mechanism is to shove everything under the pushchair. I obsessively check that ds is infant in the pushchair for about 5 minutes as I'm convinced that one day I'm going to leave him on the bus.

It's not selfish to have an unfolding pushchair, I really have never had any problems in the non-folding culture I live in. More regular busses would solve the problem.

Original poster
gotnotimeforthat · 30/05/2014 19:30

ikea the fact he was asleep is not really an issue for me the fact that I had to take my child out of his pram because an EMPTY I REPEAT EMPTY pram was taking up TWO pushchair spaces.

If those spaces were both used by pushchairs with children in them I couldn't of cared less about having to fold but they wasn't. If your kid isn't in the pram then you should be courteous and fold the fucking up instead of taking up two much needed spaces then tutting and sneering at the baby who is now crying at being woken up.

ikea your attitude is pretty disgusting going by what you have said I can only assume you are a very selfish woman.

OP posts:
PinkSquash · 30/05/2014 19:34

What pram was it that takes up two spaces? Even my tank of a My3 fits in with room for another tank pram. Unless it was a double buggy?

MrsKoala · 30/05/2014 19:36

Today i had 5 bags of shopping (with milk and spuds in) a nappy bag, a 2st toddler and a buggy which comes apart in 2 heavy/cumbersome pieces. i am pregnant with placenta previa. i would never have been able to do that Jodie. I don't think it's selfish to have a buggy which i can do my shopping in. What are people who don't drive meant to do? i purposely bought this buggy as it has the largest shopping basket. Once the baby comes and it converts to a double, there is even less chance of me being able to 'fold' it.

Original poster
gotnotimeforthat · 30/05/2014 19:39

mrskoala

Yes but if you had a buggy that was easy to fold and your baby was already on your lap would you fold your pram to allow a sleeping baby space?

pink it was a mothercare expedior, not the bulkiest I've ever seen and I'm sure if they repositioned it there would have been more space too. But the expedior folds in litterally seconds you pull up to levers and its flat.

OP posts:
Original poster
gotnotimeforthat · 30/05/2014 19:41

*two

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 30/05/2014 19:44

Of course OP. I'm responding more to the 'why would anyone buy a buggy like that' and 'it's selfish to have a buggy like that' 'people who have those buggys are pricks' comments (which is basically that it's essential for me).

Original poster
gotnotimeforthat · 30/05/2014 19:45

mrskola

My appologies Blush

OP posts:
basgetti · 30/05/2014 19:46

YANBU. Who on earth thinks an empty pushchair deserves a space over an actual sleeping baby? Probably the same selfish arses who refuse to fold for wheelchair users.

Notso · 30/05/2014 19:51

Ikea please can you explain the sentence I can't fold my pushchair before I get on the bus as the bus is free for pushchairs.

I can't work it out. Do you mean it is free to push on a pram but you have to pay for a folded one? Confused

I would also like to say Bugaboo Cameleon is incredibly easy to fold even with a baby as the carrycot or pushchair seat free stand which mean you don't have to take the baby out until the chassis is folded.
I folded mine up loads on the bus so that others could also get on with their folded prams.

ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 19:52

You should have just moved her pram so yours fitted in, I think it's fair if you leave your pram unattended that people move it to make the space work better ( not fold it but just move it so there is more space)

I have my many bad points but I don't think I'm especially selfish. If all pushchair spaces are taken but there is a pushchair waiting I get off the bus if I'm less than 2km from home, last week we were waiting for the bus at the first stop, I was the first pushchair user there,2 other parents with pushchairs came after me and then s 4th parent with pushchair, they looked really disappointed and said to the child that they weren't going to get to the train in time so I said I'd wait as we were not in a mad rush. As I said before everyone has unfoldable pushchairs so folding wasn't really an option for anyone.

Notso · 30/05/2014 19:57

I think some bus users are just plain miserable basgetti I once got moaned at for a whole 40 minute journey that my double pram was taking up two spaces on a bus that had 5 passengers. Three of which were me and my DC.

ikeaismylocal · 30/05/2014 20:00

Yes notso the bus is free for parents with a pushchair and child, the child doesn't have to be in the pushchair but if the pushchair is folded it would be luggage and then you would not be entitled to free bus travel.

I can't actually lift the seat with ds in it anymore I have terrible hip/back pain, but I'll try that when the next baby is born. Part of the problem is that there is no seperate luggage storage, so the pushchair would still take up lots of room.