Is DH being U about this?

[LayMeDown]

Colleague of DH sent him an e mail before she left yesterday wishing him a Happy Birthday for this weekend (it is his BD). She mentioned te specific day.
He has no idea how she knows this. Not even his closest friend in work knew it was his birthday. He is very concious about mentioning it as he hates any type of fuss or public acknowledgement so he is sure (positive) he didn't. He doesn't socialise with her at all in or out of work so it wouldn't have come up in a pub conversation or over lunch or anything.
Anyway I'd just shrug and move on but he is really quite annoyed about it and ( I think ) a little freaked out. He feels its very inappropriate and unprofessional.
So what do you guys think. Would this bother you?

Facebook?

He's not on Facebook

Friend of friend (in person or via FB). Or does she have access to any personal information via work?

His friends might be on FB though - and might have been talking about it. FB is everywhere.

LinkedIn?

If I hadn't told anyone where I worked and someone I barely knew did this I would be freaking out. It's the assumption that information you've chosen not to divulge has been fair game. I would feel my choices about what I do and don't share with people at work had been taken away. I would wonder what other information she had gone digging for.

While a birthday in itself isn't a big thing, the lengths she has gone to represent an invasion of privacy. It's a bit stalkery.

No DH is very under the radar there is nothing organised so nothing to discuss on Facebook. I am friends on FB with all his close friends and it is not mentioned. Plus she is a distant colleague she is not Connected in anyway via Facebook. They don't know each others friends or anything.

Could she have an indiscreet friend in hr?

I'd be annoyed too.

He's not on linked in either.

Could he have mentioned his birthday last year and she'd made a note in her diary for this year? Still, a bit odd even so.

Did he reply to her mail?

It does sound stalkerish.

Is there anywhere at work where basic info is available - all she'd need is his DOB. Some people like to make a thing of acknowledging everyone's birthday, - not sure if she is overstepping the mark professionally or not, - but its only a greeting, she's not thrown a surprise party with strippergrams yet

I wouldn't give something like that a second thought, is he worried she has some sort of crush on him, or is he just a bit uptight about anything personal appearing in a business setting?

Yes Iam I think that's how he feels, although he did not express it so well. Feel a bit bad about laughing at him now....
No HR it's quite a small company. I mean I assume she did find it through work as that is the only crossover but she would have had to look for it he reckons as its not like there is a birthday calendar or anything. He doesn't know where she got it, but thinks perhaps a copy of his passport is saved somewhere as part of the business continuity plan.

Why didn't he just reply with, "Thank you for the birthday wishes, how did you know?"

I think he should casually ask her how she knew when he's back in.

She wasn't there last year, and he wouldn't have mentioned it anyway. He's been there 5 years and no one has ever known.
He replied thanking her and asking how she knew, but she's gone for we now so won't find out today.
Kurri He's not sure but there must be, but like I said it would have required specific effort rather then just coming across it, and then noting it and I guess that what bothers him.
I think the personal/business crossover bothers him the most a he is a VERY private person (I mean who's not on Facebook?!!) but I think he is secretly a bit worried of a crush but he wouldn't verbalise that because he would think it sounds arrogant.

Yeah, he should out her on the spot, gently. If she did access his date of birth just out of curiosity she needs to realise that's not ok!

Worra he did. His concern isn't really how she got the information but with what he feels is the inappropriatness of seeking it out and using it. That's what he's annoyed about

It does sound a bit weird. Is she the type of person that would make a list of all office birthdays and then make a hoo-hah about each and every one?

I'd just ask her how she knew about it and tell her he didn't actually like celebrating his birthday which is why he hadn't mentioned it to anyone.

Yes it's annoying, but I don't think it's that unprofessional or out of order on the grand scale of things.

I wonder if she's done this to any other colleagues, male or female...

I asked him about his closest friend in work, who's birthday is 'sometime in March'. Apparently she didn't do it for him.

While I think it's intriguing, I think it's rather odd to see this as an invasion of privacy or that it's inappropriate, It's just a Happy Birthday! I think he needs to drop his shoulders a bit.

I hardly think it's an invasion of privacy - DOBs are available publicly from all sorts of sources. However, I do think it's a bit odd. When you find out how she know (and DH must ask), please come back and tell us.

*knew

Was it an email about something else just adding happy birthday or was it specifically a happy birthday message?

Either way he is massively over reacting. Some one has wished him a nice birthday, hardly a hanging offence! Maybe she is just being...you know....nice. Doesn't mean she wants to stalk him or get in his pants.