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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

regarding inconsiderate people at concert? Long, sorry.

72 replies

inmyheadimthequeen · 30/05/2014 09:52

Haven't posted in AIBU before....

DH and I took the DCs (13 & 12) to concert last night. The music is our era, not theirs but they wanted to go and know it through being on around the house etc. We had all looked forward to it for months and the tickets cost £300+ for the 4 of us. DH came straight from work because of logistics of getting there.

Concert started and for at least the first 6 or 7 songs, two 40-ish men in front of me talked loudly between and through the music. I don't mean constantly, but not just in the breaks either iykwim, loud enough for me to hear them 'remember this one?', 'I love this one', 'Do you think X will come on stage?' that kind of thing. Clearly, other people could hear them too, there was quite a but of head-swivelling and pursed lips going on. I was immediately behind them.

The concert was a 'history of' thing so the band were talking about how they first got together etc. So the in-between-songs bits were a bit more than 'Hello and welcome' chat. Anyway, the talking didn't stop or quieten down, and about 6-7 songs in I leaned over and said (quietly and politely), 'Excuse me, I don't want to be rude or anything but I can hear you talking and it's really loud, do you think I could ask you to keep it down a little bit'?

Oh dear.

Man 1 immediately turned round and started saying that he had paid for his ticket, he would talk if he wanted, he wasn't disturbing anyone, I had no right etc etc etc. I didn't answer any of this because the next song had started.

At the end of that song, while the singer was talking, he turned again and more of the same but this time saying that I was trying to spoil his evening by me 'claiming that he had ruined my night', and 'complaining all the time' and saying that he would carry on talking if he wanted. This time my DH (the mildest mannered person I have ever met), leaned over and said 'that's enough' and it settled down. A repeat at the interval an hour in (by this time he and his friend had had about 4 beers each, they had arrived with a big tray of drinks.

They didn't come back straight after the interval but the one who said I'd ruined his evening arrived about 1.5 songs in, with another tray of beers. Then he got his phone out. The security person (a young girl) came over and the chap sitting beside me said, 'thank god, maybe they will throw him out now', but she just asked him to turn it off. He didn't of course, just explained loudly that he was just checking his texts and wouldn't be a minute. Then the other friend arrived (more beers) and the second half continued much as the first - the music had got a bit louder/rockier by now so the talking wasn't as intrusive but still def loud enough to hear and still through the songs and not just in the breaks between. Also singing along badly although this didn't actually bother me so much.

Anyway, we left before the end, because I was worried there would be any other confrontation and they were now very clearly drunk. None of us really enjoyed it, me because I hate confrontation and my DH and DCs because they could also hear all the talking and could tell I was upset by it.

My DS asked why I had said anything and I said that if you let people act like dicks then they'll just carry on doing it so I felt it would be more unreasonable to say nothing and let it wind me up all evening. But was I right? Should I just have put up and shut up? I only know I would never behave like this and can't imagine my DCs doing so either, even as teenagers, never mind men in their 40s.

Rant over, sorry it's long. Was I BU??

OP posts:

samsam123 · 30/05/2014 22:25

I agree its rude and I would have been very annoyed as well- as for coming back in after the second half started in my local theatre they wouldn't have let them in. People are just rude and inconsiderate

shockinglybadteacher · 30/05/2014 22:39

I don't think I go to the same kind of gigs as most Mumsnetters

Depending on gig, it's hard to tell YABU. Seriously though, as well as being a shockingly bad teacher, I'm ex-security. You have difficulties with fellow attendees, tell security, don't tell them. Telling them usually leads to bad results.

TheBogQueen · 30/05/2014 22:45

Carter are still going?

MsRinky · 30/05/2014 22:51

It was their final ever festival performance, allegedly. I may have shed a tear, it was just like being 17 again...

Original poster

inmyheadimthequeen · 30/05/2014 22:52

and so are the Eagles

OP posts:

EverythingCounts · 30/05/2014 22:59

Rarely go to gigs these days but this stuff is infuriating. Why do people have phone conversations at events they must have paid a lot to go to? How can they even hear?

FunkyFlanFlinger · 30/05/2014 23:42

I hate this type of behaviour, seriously drives me insane, but I think clapping and singing along is brilliant. It is the narcisstic, attention seeking cunts who have to "perform" wherever they go. It should be illegal to talk at the cinema ffs, it is the most annoying thing ever...

soaccidentprone · 31/05/2014 00:18

I go to gigs with dh. If one of his friends tags along, then they usually start having long conversations. I tell them to shut up. We've paid to see and listen to the band, not to listen to them talk.

I had a go at an outdoors Who gig a few years ago. 2 very tall blokes came and stood in from of us (which is unfortunate, but not their fault), but the fact they talked solidly really got on my wick. I had words. I don't mind a bit of chat, clapping loudly, whistling, shouting etc, especially at outdoor gigs, but when all you can hear is their conversation rather than the music, then I get a bit stroppy.

They stopped talking, and then moved.

I usually prefer standing gigs as you can move to avoid the idiots

Caitlin17 · 31/05/2014 01:03

You have my sympathy. I don't understand why people go to concerts and talk through it.

I take it you were in a seated venue? It's less annoying at a standing venue, particularly if it's a loud/rock band and at least there is the opportunity of moving.

In a seated venue it's boorish, ignorant and ill-mannered. I also can't abide people in seated venues who think it is acceptable to get up and leave, go to the bar and return when it's not an interval.

ForeskinHyena · 31/05/2014 01:21

I told someone to shut up at a James Blunt concert once (at being a boring old gimmer and attending JB concert).

I must have sounded like a right twat, there was a group of uni age kids who had come for the support act. Then once JB came on and was singing a quiet slow song, just him and piano they were chattering away. I said "excuse me, we all listened to your music and it was good, I enjoyed it, but now we'd like to listen to the music we like, that we paid to hear, and all I can hear is you chatting". They were suitably embarrassed and left shortly afterwards!

Notso · 31/05/2014 01:50

I once had the pleasure of a random man weeing onto my feet at a festival. I told him I was going to follow him and shit in his tent, he apologised profusely and gave me £20, DH was most impressed.

insancerre · 31/05/2014 07:46

I try not to go to seated gigs.
At standing gigs there is always the option of moving away from the bell ends
I go to a lot of gigs and hardly speak to dh all night. Except for 'I'm going to the loo' and ' yes I do want a drink'

KaFayOLay · 31/05/2014 08:01

I had a man and woman simulating sex in front of me at a Robbie Williams gig.
It was most distracting.

I was getting more and more irked until they climbed onthe seat and carried on dry humping. My rage got the better of me and I pushed them off the seat and suggested they went and got a room.

My sister's and dh were horrified as that is so not me but I didn't pay good money to watch that!!

Kettricken · 31/05/2014 10:12

I was at the same concert op and the bloke next to me wound me up all the way through it too,he was late so missed the start and the start after the interval as well, he was getting up and down all the way through it. When he wasn't pushing past me to get another drink he was texting on his phone. Then left before the encore. I don't understand why people spend a fortune on tickets then don't actually watch the gig! Such a shame your evening was spoilt as it was a brilliant concert!

frostyfingers · 31/05/2014 11:16

I went to a rugby match last night and the 7 blokes in front of us were up and down like bloody yo-yo's. First to get beer, then to go to loo to make room for another beer and so on ad infinitum. After half time the effort of moving was obviously too much so they stayed in the bar - bizarre to go to a match and not actually watch it.

At one point one of the said "I'll go to the bar now while it's quiet" - ha, in his absence two tries were scored.

I don't get why you buy a ticket and drink and chat your way through the whole thing, concert, match or whatever.

PhaedraIsMyName · 31/05/2014 11:47

I go to lots of concerts/seated/standing/classical/non classical/theatre/ballet/opera. The audiences at all of them apart from non classical concerts observe concert etiquette.

wowfudge · 31/05/2014 11:57

You are lucky then Phaedra - too many times I've been near some twit giving a running commentary: yes, I am watching too and do not need you to witter on alongside the action on stage. Or, at musicals, someone singing along! It's not all the Rocky Horror Picture Show. There are special cinema showings for those of you who want to sing along to the Sound of Music, etc. Bloody go there instead of ruining things for me.

Cocolepew · 31/05/2014 12:19

I was at a Bondie concert last year, sitting in the tiered bit. A youngish man and his partner were 2 rows in front of me, one was very excited and kept jumping up. It wasn't a problem because we could still see.
2 blokes in front of me decided to take exception to this and started pulling on his jacket. One of them then reached over and had him in a headlock, while his wife screamed at him to behave.

DH leaned over and whispered something in his ear and he turned to have a go at him. DH looks rough, shaved head tattoos type, but is usualy pretty quiet, they bloke then shut up. Dh knew it was spoiling the gig for me, Im a Blondie fanatic, and, I would have ended up in a row Im a bit gobby if riled.

I swear he only did it because the young man was there wthl his male partner.

20 minutes, and anither round of beers, later, dickhead man then decided he was going to make up with the young man and kept trying to hug him . Security intervened at this point.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 31/05/2014 12:19

Me and 2 friends went to see the Lion King stage show. In front of us, a couple were arguing with a mum and her kids in front of them, it was getting really distracting, eventually the couple left and never came back.

When I went to see Saturday night fever, I was sat infront of someone who absolutely stank. Luckily, it didnt ruin the night.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 31/05/2014 12:20

*behind, not infront.

BreconBeBuggered · 31/05/2014 12:38

YANBU, OP, but I have over the years learned to hate virtually every group of people at gigs. I get wound up at:-

People clapping during songs, particularly the quieter numbers. See the drummer up there on stage? He does the percussion.

People who don't clap enthusiastically enough in between songs

People bringing in tray after tray of beer and distributing it in my line of vision.

People looking askance at me if I get a glass of wine during the interval.

People filming the whole gig.

People chatting

People who decide that spot at the bottom of the stairs next to the balcony is the ideal place to showcase their dancing, never mind that their arse will block the view of the band for several rows of people.

And that's just in the booked seats. Don't get me started on arseholiness in General Admission.

PitchSlapped · 31/05/2014 12:43

We went to see Stewart Francis and were watching the support act (who was funnier than Stewart) and there was a group of about 7 dickheads behind us shouting random swear words out. We told them to shut up and they apologised but kept doing it anyway, then two of them started mucking about with water which ended up on one of our group. All the while still shouting random words at the comedian on stage. Wasnt a big theatre so it was really hard to ignore. In the end the comedian said "guys...how does it feel to be the biggest cunts in a room of 500 people", the rest of the audience gave the bloke a standing ovation so its guaranteed they were pissing everyone else off just as much.

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