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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think maybe we'll never have enough space?

71 replies

LoveBomber · 29/05/2014 19:16

We currently live in a smallish (900 sq ft) 3 bed semi with three children. The dses share a room (one pre teen and one toddler) and dd has the box room. We have one bathroom, no second loo, small garden.

So cramped and cluttered as you'd expect.

We are very fortunate to be able to buy a bigger house, and should be moving this time next month. The new house has 4 double bedrooms, 1400 sq foot, ensuite and downstairs loo, family room, study. I have spent many happy hours planning furniture layouts in all the glorious space.

However, my mum has just reminded me that I was just as excited when we moved into this house from our tiny flat, and its only taken us 5 years to outgrow it. She said that we'll never have enough space as we'll expand to fill the space we have. That unless you buy a mansion, all houses feel too small eventually.

Is she right? Please tell me that when you've moved into your 'forever home' it feels spacious and right and not eventually cramped and small. We aren't having any more children, my mum just means we'll accumulate stuff.

OP posts:
FelixFelix · 30/05/2014 14:47

I kind of agree with what she's said, but it totally depends on what sort of person you are. Some people move house, take all their useless clutter with them then buy more 'stuff' so just end up in the same situation as before. Every time we have moved, we have been ruthless and got rid of any unnecessary things we don't need. It's hard with a DP who wants to keep EVERYTHING but it feels great afterwards.

I'm another one who is passionate about storage Grin

wobblyweebles · 30/05/2014 14:55

I would find 1400 sq ft a bit small tbh. But it will be better than what you have so enjoy it!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 30/05/2014 14:58

One of my friends lived in a bog standard small 30s semi. It was always very cramped and cluttered. They built a massive two storey extension (big kitchen diner, utility, downstairs loo, extra bedroom with ensuite etc). Within 6 months the entire place was cramped and overflowing with clutter again. I don't think it bothers them though and it doesn't have to be that way.

Sidge · 30/05/2014 15:22

Hmm I think it depends on the sort of person you are.

I have a fairly big 4 bed house with 2 bathrooms, downstairs loo, conservatory/playroom etc and as I don't like clutter and am not a hoarder it's plenty big enough.

I think to a point you 'grow' into the space you have but then as kids get older they need less crap (or just smaller crap!) and as long as you have good storage you don't have to be drowning in "stuff".

merlehaggard · 30/05/2014 15:35

I think you'll find it as good as you originally thought it would be. I have 3 children and a 4 bed (one a single), an ensuite and downstairs toilet. It sounds similar to yours but ours is a bit extended downstairs so may poss have a little more space downstairs to compensate for the single room upstairs. The single room is my 3 year old son's and I would love it to be a double so that his toys could go in his room. However, that said, the house is pretty much the perfect size. We do declutter regularly however to keep it fine. As your mum said, people do have a tendency to grow into any space they have but if it was any bigger, it would get harder and harder to clean and heat, so it's a balancing act.

ChickenFajitasAndNachos · 30/05/2014 15:47

Each time I have moved I have been lucky enough to ba able to buy quite a bit of new furniture to fit the new space perfectly. For example I have a second reception room which is about 8/9 by 10 feet so not very big. We've brought a new 2 seater sofa, a tall wooden locker type piece of furniture that contains all teenage chargers, wires and more wires, brought a matching slimline TV unit and used our old TV. This now works really well as a teen/watching sport room. Our neighbours have the same house and squeezed in their old massive dining table in the room and it looks really cramped and a bit odd. They told me they have never even used the room and have now added on a massive conservatory as they need more space.
We also filled an under stairs cupboard with cube units from Argos and that works really well for shoes and bags and hung coat hooks for umberellas, jackets etc.
I think 1400 square feet will be plenty big enough.

Original poster
LoveBomber · 30/05/2014 19:40

Ooh Chicken that's what we're planning to do with the dining room, the kids can use it for a telly room.

this is the house , not my actual house, sadly, as we are in the SE so twice the bloody price. But that is the floorplan etc.

OP posts:
HicDraconis · 30/05/2014 19:48

We moved into our forever house 2 years ago. It still feels too big! Agree with pp that it's storage and organisation that makes the difference.

Then again according to a conversion calculator it's 3767 square feet so it probably is too big! Love it though :)

diddl · 30/05/2014 19:51

Well I sort of see what she means, but then you've outgrown your current place by having kids.

You'll be using all the bedrooms for example and will more than likely find a use for all the downstairs rooms.

We've got three double bedrooms, two kids.

When they move out I'm sure husband and I could expand I to their rooms-sewing room/study/library...!

ChickenFajitasAndNachos · 30/05/2014 20:21

Wow LoveBomber the layout of your new home looks really fab, an eat in kitchen, a study, good size lounge, separate lounge for kids, study and bedroom for each of your DC. What more could you need? Best wishes in your new home Smile

Original poster
LoveBomber · 31/05/2014 08:35

Thank you, we were bowled over when we saw it. We had a fairly long list of 'musts' for the new house and this has all of them.

We are hopefully exchanging contracts on Monday... I am a wreck.

OP posts:
melissa83 · 31/05/2014 08:46

We have 4 in a 2 bed and its not too small. Im pregnant with my 3rd but cant see it being too small for another 5 years or so. Do you own a lot of junk?

KatieKaye · 31/05/2014 08:52

I agree with your Mum - you do expand to fit the space you have unless you clear out regularly.
My parents did not do this. Mum still lives in the family home, which has been decluttered, but back in the day one of the three sitting rooms was totally unusable due to all the junk my Dad had in it. And it was junk!
Plus the huge loft was groaning at the seams with everything from my Mum's schoolbooks from the 30s and 40s to Dad's WWII tank helmet etc. It was ridiculous! My loft only has the Xmas decorations in it, in direct response to my childhood.
Having said that, I am no saint when it comes to books. I have thousands. And even living in a 2 roomed flat I had loads. 27 packing crates full of them when we moved to be precise.
More space = more opportunities for more furniture, things like pianos etc which take up a lot of space, cost a lot of money and aren't normally something to get rid of without thinking twice about it.

EyeMyrrhSlapHer · 31/05/2014 08:57

We moved from a smallish 2 bed flat to a good sized 3 bed house five years ago. We have one adult child and a pre teen. The house still feels massive to me, but everything has a placed and we are all tidy and minimalist people.

Original poster
LoveBomber · 31/05/2014 08:58

Thank you, we were bowled over when we saw it. We had a fairly long list of 'musts' for the new house and this has all of them.

We are hopefully exchanging contracts on Monday... I am a wreck.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoveBomber · 31/05/2014 08:59

Sorry for double post, that was my phone!

OP posts:
Original poster
LoveBomber · 31/05/2014 09:06

I wouldn't say junk, but we do have lots of stuff, including a piano.

I am pretty ruthless at decluttering but we all have lots of books, toys, cds, dvds, that kind of thing.

OP posts:
melissa83 · 31/05/2014 09:09

We have a living room, dining area bit, 2 bedrooms, kitchen and bathroom which is all on one floor. The dining area bit is completely empty as we have dining table in living room and I cant think of anything to put there.

moonblues · 31/05/2014 09:11

Looks like a fab house op.

I love my house, but dream of a larger kitchen, more storage and another bedroom upstairs. Don't think my DH would want to move, but think we might run out of space...

Right, I've been inspired to decluter! Wish me luck...

Olga79 · 31/05/2014 09:12

I think you will find it not big enough eventually, not so much because you always expand to fill the space but because it's really not that big for a 4 bed.

MinesAPintOfTea · 31/05/2014 09:24

My parents and brother live in a large 4 bed, double garage, conservatory etc house. It was massive and spacious when we moved here twenty years ago and now there's no space on the worktop even (confession, I took the last little bit for ds's played when we arrived last night).

Not moving for two decades means no desperate need to declutter and get to the back of the cupboards for all that time.

Original poster
LoveBomber · 31/05/2014 10:35

Olga79, are you joking? We looked at dozens Confused. The others in the same price range were either townhouses with much less living space (bigger bedrooms though) or a similar size but with different layouts. The vast majority of 4 beds we saw were much cheaper and smaller, and there were only a couple that were bigger (and nearly a million quid).

OP posts:
Olga79 · 31/05/2014 11:05

Our 3 bed 1950s ex council house is the same size in terms of floor area. Modern houses are small in comparison.

Olga79 · 31/05/2014 11:09

Not saying it won't be perfectly adequate but it would soon be easy to feel you didn't have enough space

icanneverremember · 31/05/2014 11:16

I think a big house will always feel like you have enough space as long as you keep it clutter free. We have a lovely big kitchen and I still marvel at the fact ds (2.5) and I have a special dancing space, I feel very lucky.

However, be prepared for the extra housework. It's even harder than painting the Forth Bridge as I don't even get to the end before the first room's a tip again Grin

Good luck with your move, it will all be worth it!

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