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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask that if money was no object

28 replies

feelinghothothot · 29/05/2014 00:20

What extra classes would you like your children to have? Sort of pre-school to prep age. Languages? Music? Arts? Do you think having dc playing a piano recital at 7 is too much? What about sending dc to 'Chinese school' on a Saturday? Is this wrong? Personally, I think you are only a child once but am I wrong?

OP posts:

Bellezeboobian · 29/05/2014 00:23

I would just see what they show an interest in and go from there. I won't be forcing my child to do any extra unless they do. That might sound silly to some people but I think they're only young once and I want them to spend that time doing things they enjoy. I would encourage him to try new things though, perhaps tasters and things.

Preciousbane · 29/05/2014 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PancakesAndMapleSyrup · 29/05/2014 00:35

They would get to do as much or as little in outside activities as they liked....as id be a sahm to take them :D

whois · 29/05/2014 00:39

If money was no object is want my children to be able to try as wide a range of things as they showed an interest in. I don't really have any views on what is a 'good' thing to do because all activities are great for some children - just depends what they enjoy or need.

chesterberry · 29/05/2014 00:40

If money was no object I would definitely not be spending it on extra classes for a child in pre-school. We would be travelling the world! I agree that you're only a child once and should be spending your childhood having fun, not spending it doing endless music/art/language classes outside of all the hours that are already being put in at school. Especially as most extra classes then require a certain amount of homework/practice etc to be taken at home between classes.

I probably would try out a few classes for things not offered in school once my DD got a bit older (not sure what prep age is but maybe at 6/7?) but would only continue a class if she showed a keen interest in it and found it enjoyable. I'd go from her interests rather than what I thought she would be doing so no idea whether it would be language/arts/sport/music or something else. I wouldn't have her going to too many different classes at once and definitely wouldn't send her to anything just because I could afford it and felt I ought to be filling her free-time with educational things though.

lechers · 29/05/2014 00:49

Tbh, I wouldn't.

When my DC were small, they did preschool, and then they had specialist teachers to do the extra curriculars. So they went to a proper gym (with the active gym mark accreditation and specialist pre school gymnastics coaches) for gym lessons, swimming pool for swimming lessons and to a dance school for dance lessons.

Even if you could bring those specialist teachers in, I'm not sure I would want that, as for example we tried a few different dance schools until we found the one that was right for DD (not too structured). Other friends preferred the more formal set up of other dance schools. I wouldn't want that imposed on me, and would want to make those choices for myself.

Dd2 did do an extra French class for a while. Not because I was bothered about it, but it delayed the time I needed to pick her up.

Jinsei · 29/05/2014 00:51

I am in the fortunate position of being able to afford what we want for dd, but I let her choose her own activities. At the moment, she just does loads of dance, though she has done various other stuff at different times - including Chinese school!

Money might not particularly limit dd's choices, but there are only 24 hours in a day no matter how much money you have, and I think it's really important for kids to have down time - time just to play, and just to be. DD is the kind of kid who would be out at activities every night of the week (and what with dance and a couple of after school clubs, she isn't far off that!) but I do encourage her not to over-commit herself.

If I were living vicariously through her, I'd love her to have done karate or something like that. And tennis. However, she remains resolutely committed to her dancing, and that takes priority over everything else. It's her life, so her choice.

Xihha · 29/05/2014 01:04

DD(5) would desperately like music lessons but she wants to learn every instrument she sees and I don't want to pay for lessons until shes chosen one she actually plans to stick with. She also does ballet at the moment and loves it and wants to do extra french lessons (her school already do an hour of french a week as part of their normal timetable) but she can't join french club til year 1.

LadyCybilCrawley · 29/05/2014 01:19

I pretty much sacrifice already so the children can do the lessons they want and ds gets the therapy he needs

But if money was no object, I'd want a chauffeur - I hate driving and would love someone to drive me wherever I'd like to go and be waiting for me to take me home again

Shockers · 29/05/2014 07:51

At preschool age, they won't really have expressed a great deal of preference for lots of activities will they?

I think swimming is important, so that was something I arranged without asking. DS didn't like it at first, but we persevered and now he swims at county level.

Mini football and gymnastics, we tried and they liked.

French they both did for a year and enjoyed.

I'd like DD to be able to go riding, but there's a time commitment there too as she can't be left (she has SN). It's something we're looking into.

Sparklingbrook · 29/05/2014 07:56

Mine are older now, between them they have had swimming lessons and are now very good swimmers but that's essential in my book.

DS2 has tried and given up Trampolining, Golf and Karate. DS1 had keyboard lessons for a while.

Football is the enduring one with both playing since the age of 5.

I never crossed my mind to send them to Chinese school on a Saturday or want them to play piano aged 7.

Fairylea · 29/05/2014 07:59

I'd only do what they showed an interest in.

Personally I'd always rather spend extra income on family days out and holidays.

Morgause · 29/05/2014 08:03

I sent DSs to a lot of taster sessions for all sorts of activities and left it to them which ones they wanted to pursue.

DS1 became very involved in chess and drama and still is.

DS2 was a swimmer and guitarist.

Neither were interested in anything like Beavers, although they did go to one session each.

Eastpoint · 29/05/2014 08:05

My DCs played tennis, went to group music lessons, attended dance & gym classes. By the time DS was 8 he had been to cricket, football, tennis, karate, gym, tennis & swimming classes. He also played a musical instrument. He didn't do all of these at the same age. His favorite sport now is golf

TheBookofRuth · 29/05/2014 08:09

DD is two. She does 4 classes a week - art, music, Gymboree and ballet. Two of them were chosen because they were things she'd shown an interest in (art and music), the other two because they focus on things she struggled with (gross motor skills and physical coordination), but she enjoys them all. I certainly wouldn't make her go if she didn't , and in total they add up to less than 4 hours a week, so plenty of time left to just "be a child".

Taz1212 · 29/05/2014 08:14

I'd have them doing outdoorsy things. Every summer I sign DC up for woodland adventure weeks, sailing, rock climbing/bouldering/abseiling, wet and wild courses (kayaking, gorge walking, rafting etc) and so on. This year they are also doing a week of zoo camp at Edinburgh Zoo. You do need to be a bit older for most of these- 8 or so.

I grew up in the country and hate that DC are growing up in suburbia and overcompensate for this fact. [grin

Sparklingbrook · 29/05/2014 08:20

I think you have to accept that not all activities taken up at such a young age will still be done as older children. Letting them give stuff up that I had spent a lot of time and £££s on was so hard.

DS2 was getting really good at golf but the passion wasn't there. he enjoyed the lessons but didn't want to do a round. I guess now he knows the rules of golf and how to play if he wants to do it as an adult he'll be all set.

thereisnoeleventeen · 29/05/2014 08:24

You are right OP, you are only a child once. Probably the only time in your life that you don't need to be under constant demands.

I'd sign them up for stuff that they were interested in or needed a bit of extra help in.

Personally I would hate to be made to do piano recital weekly/daily bla bla bla so I wouldn't expect my DC's to do it. If the talent is there and you provide the necessary (or even if you don't sometimes) then then child will put the time in.

nokidshere · 29/05/2014 08:27

Money wouldn't make a difference here really. My oldest (now 15) has never done a club and my youngest had drum lessons for a term.

The only thing that has been consistent from early ages is cricket

pianodoodle · 29/05/2014 08:32

Piano!

Seriously though it depends what they are interested in.

I'd be wary at throwing money at too many activities all at once.

I've found with some of my own students that although they find time to schedule the actual lesson they sometimes forget to factor in the amount of practise time needed in between ;)

Ragwort · 29/05/2014 08:34

Well, personally I would love my DS to do chess, maths, languages and music but as he has absolutely no interest in any of those there would be no point sending him .

We are fortunate in that we can afford the sorts of extra curricular activities my DS wants to do - which all involve sport ...............

I would be happy to pay for a class that teaches motivation for something other than sport or playstation type rubbish .

Sparklingbrook · 29/05/2014 08:35

I broke my Dad's heart by getting to Grade 5 violin and packing it in. I played for the County Youth Orchestra, and he loved it. Now as a parent I can see how upset he was. Sorry Dad.

SteadyEddie · 29/05/2014 08:37

We are lucky that we can afford the things the DC's want to do. For DS1 that has been Taekwondo, a drama club and cubs/scouts. He has tried various other things but these have been the ones he has stuck to.

DD has tried ballet and tap which she didnt enjoy, but she loves Rainbows and horse riding.

Jinty64 · 29/05/2014 08:37

If money were no object I would pay for private cello lessons for ds3 (7). He plays piano, not yet to concert standard, but he shows promise and he would like to play cello. His brothers both play violin and learned through the school and hopefully ds3 will be chosen next year. Private lessons would be best but too expensive. I think he would also like French. He does swimming but hates all other sports.

Thumbwitch · 29/05/2014 08:44

DS1 (6) already does a few things - dancing, football, swimming lessons (in season) and now Tae Kwondo. Next year I'd like him to take up a musical instrument, either piano or guitar and he does want to do that. DH wants him to have tennis lessons but maybe not for another couple of years yet - and I'd like to let him have riding lessons too, but we do realise that he needs time off as well, so I don't know how we'll fit it all in!

When he can swim, probably the swimming lessons will drop, unless he really wants to do them - I don't care if he can do all 4 strokes, so long as he can swim safely and functionally.

He may want to give up the dancing as he gets older, which will make room for other things (I'll be a bit sad though)

The Tae Kwondo is currently for discipline, self defence and stability - he may or may not choose to continue with that (he's only just started so we'll see)

I did think about foreign language lessons but really, I think it's too much for DS1

DS2 will pretty much follow in what DS1 has done, unless he doesn't enjoy it, in which case we'll find other things for him to do.

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