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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 140 quid on

77 replies

nannyplum75 · 28/05/2014 11:29

an end of term thank you present for our Year One teacher is excessive? The money is collected from the whole class. I am the only person to have expressed disagreement with this and think I may be the only one! AIBU?

OP posts:
mercibucket · 28/05/2014 18:23

Its not really like wedding gifts

Jobs in the public sector shouldnt be seen as open to bribery and corruption (nor should the private sector, come to that)

Police now cant accept any gifts at all where we are, for instance, even milk tray

Teachers should only be able to accept token gifts. And no cash or vouchers. I have to declare any/all worth over 10 pounds in my job.

Piddlepuddle · 28/05/2014 18:29

Absolutely categorically NOT a benefit in kind, and does not have to be reported to the employer or on the teacher's tax return.

We did this on the basis anyone could take part and give anything they liked (people gave from £1 to £10). Our feeling was people would prefer some vouchers to 30 cups or 30 boxes of chocolates. There was no pressure to take part! I think it's a nice thing to do, so long as there's no pressure.

Pipbin · 28/05/2014 18:34

Can I just ask the teachers on this thread, do you actually get piles of chocolates, wine, toiletry sets and novelties?

Chocolates get eaten. Wine gets drunk. Toiletry sets sometimes get used but generally get given away. As for the 'best teacher mugs' etc, they go to the staff room or I keep them depending on what they are.

I would like to put it out there though that I do not expect anything at all. A heartfelt card is appreciated but nothing else.

And yes, there is that much chocolate. One year I was leaving the school I was working in. Every single child in my class of 35 bought me a gift at the end of the year, mostly so kind of chocolate. DH also works in a school. Between us we had 5kg of chocolate.

IDugUpADiamond · 28/05/2014 18:39

I wish that collections were banned at schools.

I also wish the class parents emails were not allowed to be used by other parents wishing to get sponsorship for their runs, marathons, cycling, walking, whatever.

Tabby1963 · 28/05/2014 18:47

I work a role similar to a TA and what I appreciate more than anything is receiving a card written by the parent or the child, these can cost a few pence or be home-made. It makes me feel valued and I keep all my cards in a special box. It is not about how much is spent, it is about a special message carefully written and personally signed.

HappyMummyOfOne · 28/05/2014 19:08

It's nothing like wedding gifts, the teacher has not asked for them or specified what they should be Hmm

Trying to get heads to ban them would be wrong, adults should be free to gift whoever they like.

partialderivative · 28/05/2014 19:13

I was given a nice bottle of red by one of my y13 students.

I cannot explain how happy it made me. Not just because I now had a bottle of wine to drink that evening, but 100X moreso because a pupil had recognised that their teacher may have gone above and beyond a bit.

samsam123 · 28/05/2014 19:14

don't the teachers get paid anymore? when did this present for the teacher thing start certainly not when I was at school. Give them a card if you want but they get paid a lot more than I do and have more holidays.

beccajoh · 28/05/2014 19:27

When did this become a 'thing'? Hmm Never happened when I was at school (I'm 34).

magoria · 28/05/2014 19:32

A few years ago at DSs school an email went out from a few parents wanting to get enough money to send a (very lovely) teacher to their home country to see their other half and children.

Very soon after an email came from the school saying this was nothing to do with them and people did NOT have to pay into it!

stargirl1701 · 28/05/2014 19:33

My local authority sends out an email every June reminding us that any gift over £20 must be declared to them and HMRC.

Panzee · 28/05/2014 19:35

I should move schools. Wonder if there's a list on TES? Wink

moldingsunbeams · 28/05/2014 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeitherTheChimeNorThePlace · 28/05/2014 20:30

I have 3 dc's. In their whole time at school I've bought the teacher a gift twice. Mainly because I'm disorganised! This year I'll buy dc2 teacher as she has been amazing and helped dc2 so much. I'm spending a fiver on a personalised wall plaque.

Dd's teacher won't be getting anything. She's useless and I'll be glad to see the end of the year with her.

NeitherTheChimeNorThePlace · 28/05/2014 20:30

Forgot to say, £140 is ludicrous!

HerRoyalNotness · 28/05/2014 20:34

I can't see how it can be related to bribery as the gift is given at the years end, and pupils move to a different teacher for the following year. It would be pretty hard to keep up favouritism based on what you might get from a pupils parent, all year long, tbh.

When I asked other teachers that I knew here what the done thing was, they said email the school, they have a teachers favourite list!! I was too embarrased to do that one actually. They also have a whole week here of teacher appreciation (beg. of May) where pupils take turns to take in something each day (eg, an apple, cupcake, lunch)culminating in a card and small gift/flowers at the end of the week. I don't know if that was organised at DS1s school as it's a deprived area, and I don't know any of the parents unfortunately. We sent a home-made card and a starbucks card for both his main teacher and the reading teacher who has helped him immensely.

I think there is no right or wrong, you do what you feel. If someone can be bothered to take charge and organise a class card/donation, I'm all for it. Otherwise do as you want.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 28/05/2014 20:34

Our local school is talking about banning the teacher gifts and only allowing made cards.

The head thinks its become a grotesque out of control thing and hates it

Ragwort · 28/05/2014 20:48

Needs - I think your Head is exactly right, this present giving has gone totally OTT.

Nunyabiz · 28/05/2014 20:53

Oh wow. DMIL is a kindergarten teacher in Australia (YR or Y1 here...5 & 6 year olds)
Last Christmas (end of year) she received $400 in vouchers from her kinder class for her favourite high end bag store. She has been teaching for 40+ years though and everyone adores her. They practically claw each other to get their DC's in her class!
I think it's a lovely gesture if she/he is a good teacher.

FloozeyLoozey · 28/05/2014 21:07

Teachers will earn double what some of the parents of the children in their class earn. Just putting that into perspective.

mercibucket · 28/05/2014 21:14

Re bribery

It is important to avoid even a whiff of bribery or corruption. Look at some other countries for examples of what we don't want to introduce here

Classroom favouritism
Good exam scores
Put in higher sets

It isn't about whether the teacher, or any other professional, is corrupt, it is to avoid even the thought occuring to anyone

Hence the very idea of a 'token' gift

Why is it not acceptable in public sector to be able to keep expensive gifts? Because of the risk of public servants being seen as corruptible

No risk with a five pound box of chocs (still many public servants are not allowed to accept even that) but £140 quids worth of gift, even if given by the whole class, is unacceptable imo

Cric · 28/05/2014 21:20

Teachers have never asked for these gifts and always appreciate each and every gift whether it is a a tray of homemade biscuits, flowers from the garden, a homemade card, wine, chocolate, vouchers. A school I used to work in sent a letter saying that no teacher expects a gift and that we love homemade cards .... There was still hundreds of patents who bought a gift / made a gift / contributed to a gift. Teachers do not have a tick list of who does and does not but them a gift. If you don't want to do it don't do it.... No teacher expects it.

Cric · 28/05/2014 21:21

Buy not but!!

mercibucket · 28/05/2014 21:26

m.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24444599

Just an example of corruption in education elsewhere

Of course, i am not talking about the odd box of chocs!
But seriously - large amounts of cash or vouchers or even expensive gifts - have no place in education

Pipbin · 28/05/2014 23:24

Teachers will earn double what some of the parents of the children in their class earn. Just putting that into perspective.

But as Cric says no teacher asks for gifts. No teacher expects them. However teachers love to know that they are appreciated and a handmade card shows just that. Sticking a fiver in a pot doesn't to be honest. I think it is a sad situation that any child or parent feels that they are being judged by the teacher or parents for not getting a gift.
I make a huge fuss and say how much I love it to any child who brings a homemade gift.