to ban my 5yo from playing with guns/violent games/Minecraft?

[BooBecks]

So, I have a 5 year old who is nearing the end of his first year in reception. He is a typical boy and full of beans. I have never allowed him to have a toy gun, or even make a pretend gun out of Lego etc. because.. well… he's 5!!!

I do not think that at 5 he should be even thinking of killing things or shooting people. It's barbaric and violent in my opinion. Guns destroy lives - I have explained how people are sad when somebody they love dies and to play "killing people" is upsetting. He would be sad if somebody he or I love was killed.

He does have a toy pirate sword, which he occasionally slays a dragon with or has a sword fight with another make-believe pirate, until he obviously makes him walk the plank… and I'm ok with that. Thats not just about the kill.

Another issue I have is Minecraft.. Firstly I don't get it! The graphics are awful, it makes me feel sick even looking at it for 30 seconds. But all the kids seem to be into it. 5 year olds nowadays seem to be able to navigate the internet and YouTube better than I can! There's this guy "Stampy" who does videos and he would literally watch that all day if he was allowed. So I have banned him completely! It frazzles their brains surely? He is a bit of an obsessive kid, he gets very fixated on stuff so it kinda has to be 'all or nothing'. I would just much rather he spent his time being constructive, making stuff, using his imagination, playing games outside etc. Not engrossed in a fantasy world.

Now, I am completely happy with my decision and I think it makes my boy a nicer child - less moody, sleeps better, cuddlier etc. However, my OH thinks that I am being unreasonable and "he's just a boy, doing boy things" So today I came home and he was charging round the house, "shooting" his little sister and is now being a monster going to bed, I think point proven, Dad thinks its just coincidence…

Opinions please!

The official rating is 7+. Personally I wouldn't let a 5 year old play on it alone and then only in Peaceful Mode, so no zombies or ability to kill things.

OP, if it is your son's obsessiveness that is giving you cause for concern, then perhaps that is where your attention should be, perhaps?

I understand your concern about kids playing with guns etc. My household was also going to be a toy gun free home. My 9 yr old has an arsenal that would put most to shame!

I think it is a case of picking your battles. If Minecraft is keeping your child awake at night, that is what needs to be focused on. But you know that - I don't mean to be telling you how to suck eggs.

The porn in the middle of peppa pig was a troll attack on youtube and they have all been deleted now. Of course you do need to be careful what they're allowed to watch though.

I dislike this "just what boys do" "you can't treat him as a girl with an appendage" just treat them as children. You don't need to genderise everything, god knows the world and media do enough of that for you.

Generally, you know your own child. One of my friends doesn't let her children watch The Lion King because she says their behaviour gets crazy after seeing it. She is logical and sensible generally, and this might seem over the top to a lot of people (I can't think of much more child friendly than The Lion King!) but she has noticed an effect on her kids and acted on it. That's good IMO :)

Hi
I agree that I can't see the appeal of minecraft myself but it is just lego on screen but better. Stampy fine too, he's making a lot of money out of this so he's careful about what he says and does so that it is appropriate for children. My son, who is older that yours, goes through phases of being really into minecraft/stampy and then going off it for a while. He gets a maximum of 2 hours 'tech' time (anything electronic) Saturdays, Sundays only. In two hits. Because I agree, if they are on it all day, it does seem to change their personality making them restless, hyper and somewhat distracted. However, 5 is very young and I didn't let him have any form of tech till he was 8ish (in juniors).
The gun thing is tricky - my aunt absolutely banned all form of gun/army/fighting stuff for my two cousins and was incredibly serious about educating her boys in her anti-violence sentiments. Both cousins joined the armed forces and one is still in marines special forces!! She can laugh about it now (sort of!) I'm not sure that banning guns etc is the way to develop the moral compass you clearly have and want your children to have. 5 year olds 'shooting' each other are NOT killing each other - that's your interpretation not theirs. They are making each other fall over for a few seconds before carrying on playing, no one dies. Time for the messages you want to give later I think, my son and I listen to the news everyday and I use that to talk about war/guns etc.
Sometime I wish I could just ban every/all potentially negative stuff and go live in the woods, and live like the Waltons but that's just not real life. It's tough being a mum and I'm sure your boy will grow up to be a delightful person with a mum like you who thinks so carefully about parenting him:)

banning any type of play is just making is more curious and desirable, letting them play and taking the time to explore the themes with them, discuss morals etc is fair more beneficial.

I don't understand why parents are so against boys (or girls) playing guns/soldiers etc. It is a sad part of life and like other sad parts of life, like being ill, dying, missing people, working long hours, having to pay the bills, our children need to be helped to come to terms with it. Part of the way they do this is by role-playing. Of course, it shouldn't be taken too far and children should not get hurt but there is IMO there is nothing wrong with exploration through play.

Meanwhile, I think children spend far too much time in front of screens so I do agree with the OP about Minecraft. Screens sap the creative powers of children, make them lazy, do not give them exercise, do not hone social skills or give them chance to improve their gross motor skills and many fine motor skills for that matter.

So, IMO and it is only my opinion: let your son play soldiers for a bit but switch off the computer games!

munchee screens only sap creative energy if children are allowed on them too long. My DD finds games eg Minecraft very creative but she is only allowed screen time on Fridays-Sunday and that's limited to an hour here and there. The rest of the time (the vast majority of her free time) is spent playing imaginatively, family time, going out, gymnastics, swimming etc. She's definitely a well-rounded little girl.

My 5 year old found about at minecraft at school. We let him play it on agile player mode so it's safe he cannot interact with other players... He also watches stampy cat and ballistic squid. YouTube is locked down to only play approved content. It's my laptop he uses so everything is logged and he has to get me to input passwords to get on.

He also plays skylanders as do most of the children in his class room. We don't play plants vs zombies however but a lot of the children again do.

With proper supervision there is no issue with these games, he knows they are games not real life, we have nerf guns but again he knows not to shoot them at people only at targets.

We also play football, build sandcastles, read books, bake, do art and go on nature walks, hatch real chickens, breed dogs ect nothing wrong with a balanced life.

I don't think it's generally a good idea to ban certain toys. I don't know much about minecraft but can't see the harm in moderation as he is only five.