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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pee'd off with DS's football coach

65 replies

befrazzled · 26/05/2014 23:25

DS is in an under 9's football team. They had their presentation evening last weekend and he got Parents' Player and Top Goalscorer. Apparently he also got Players Player but, because the Coach wanted to 'keep it fair' ie he couldn't be seen to be winning 3 trophies, the team had had to vote a second time when it was obvious that DS had won Players Player, the second time they had to state their 2 favourite players. DS is happy that he won top goal scorer but I am secretly fuming that they fixed the awards - why bother asking them who their favourite player is then not give the award to that player? Am fully prepared to be flamed but AIBU?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 27/05/2014 00:27

In my dd's team, it's known in advance that people will only win one out of Player's Player / Parents' Player and Manager's Player of the Year. It's not vote rigging, it's a 'rule' if you like, that if one person has already won a trophy then they do not 'qualify' for the other ones. tbh, I'm not sure of the order, but say Player A wins Players Player of the year, then they are ruled out of (say) the Parents' Player of the year, so they look for the highest scoring player who has not already got an award. I wouldn't call that vote rigging, I'd call it a bit of foresight.
Personally, I don't like the whole concept of it - they all train, they all turn up to matches, they all do their best. If one or two are that much better players, then everyone knows that anyway, it doesn't need to be publicly announced. If 4 or 5 of them are equally as good, then someone gets left out and can become disillusioned.

saoirse31 · 27/05/2014 08:17

Yabvu... theyre 8 or 9? He got two awards and youre upset as he should have got 3.... parents award is stupid tho imo.

Tangerinefairy · 27/05/2014 08:26

Yabu. I would be really proud and happy that your son received the award that he did. I have no idea why the coach would have told your DP that he also "got" the other award and then proceeded not to give it to him. I'm guessing he thought you would be pleased about it but understand his way of thinking as do I.

I can see how these awards can be divisive in many ways tbh.

Tangerinefairy · 27/05/2014 08:27

But if they are going to award them then BackforGood's post gives a good suggestion.

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 11:59

We have been on the junior footy treadmill for 8 years now with 2 DSs.

The norm here is 'Managers Player', Players Player, and Spectators Player awards. No top goalscorer one.

I think if the same name came up for all three the manager would just change the 'Managers Player' award to someone else. Without saying a word to anyone.

DS1 is nearly 15 and Players' Player is the one they all want to get-a real seal of approval from their peers and not just a popularity contest.

DeWee · 27/05/2014 12:10

As far as I'm concerned any "popularity votes" should be stopped in all things. I think they are a total waste of time, and not worth awarding anyway.

If I;d been the coach, any player who had already received an award would not get a popularity one.

And as someone else said, it tends to be those who score the flashy goals who will be noticed, as well as getting things like top goalscorer. The brilliant defender may well be overlooked from popularity ones as well as not being in the running for things like goalscorers.

I'll bet you'd be the first to complain if your ds has got no award and someone else got three.

MoominAndMiniMoom · 27/05/2014 12:22

It's unfair but YABabitU... my mum is an U12's football manager and coach, and hates having to pick Manager's Player, it's so hard - and obviously she wants to give it to my sister but can't, and then feels bad... it's a minefield. What she's doing this year is novelty award categories, one for each player, as well as the 'main' awards, so everyone gets a funny award and no-one leaves empty handed. 'Parents Player' sounds like an odd category to have - manager's player tends to work much better.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 27/05/2014 12:24

I have never, in 9 years of junior football heard of a Parents player of the year.

Why? Why would a parent need to vote?

We have always had Managers Player, Players player, Most improved.

And you cannot win more than 1.

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 12:25

Parents' Player here is known as 'Spectators' Player'.

The Players' Player is not a 'popularity' vote at all in the older age groups.

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 12:25

Also MOTM is voted for by the spectators in DS2's Under 12 team each week.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 27/05/2014 12:38

Fair enough Sparkling

DS1 team, U15 do not have that many parents watching apart from me so I was wondering how a parents award would work.

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 12:41

Oh no Tantrums. Sad There is usually a proper crowd at DS1's these days. Well for one team-the other not so much-we are the taxi for that one, and they aren't big on awards. Angry

You should introduce a Tantrums award and get one yourself for endurance.

Eastpoint · 27/05/2014 13:13

Sparkling I'm so used to reading M as Mother I read MOTM as Mother of the match. Awarded to the mother who has brought the most children & the best snacks?

BubbleButt79 · 27/05/2014 14:10

I'm a football coach for a similar age group, and the kids don't usually have that much say (and shouldn't really at that age!).

We've just picked our award winners for the end of season, and the way the Club is set up mean we have 7 to give out - each of the kids will get called up individually to receive an award - we have 14 kids but split into two sides for the tournaments they played - that way each of the kids gets to feel special.

Outside of that - YABU to be annoyed - giving every award to one player will affect the other kids, it's very hard keeping them all motivated unless you're winning every game!

BigBoobiedBertha · 27/05/2014 14:22

Backforgood sums it up for me with

It's parents with attitudes like yours that put people off letting their dc join junior football teams. Fortunately the team my dc plays for has the motto 'Fun First'

I really didn't want DS to get into all this nonsense although he is being sucked in now. I just wanted him to have a nice time playing football with his mates, not get involved with all this other stuff. (he wins Star of the Week often enough before you all suspect a chip on my shoulder Wink).

Besides, it is a team game. Apart from a fair play or most improved player, why would you want to single out any one player? They all need each other. The 'best' player would be no good at all if he didn't have a team to play with. (I think the same of footballers who win Sports Personality of the Year too so not just children's football.

SamG76 · 27/05/2014 14:30

YABU - Our DS(8)'s team has prizes like "Crunchiest Tackler", "Midfield Maestro", "Goal of the Season", so the focus isn't only on the strikers. And we'd be very unlikely to give more than one prize to one player.

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 14:59

Mother of the Match would be Tantrums by the sound of it East. Grin

TantrumsAndBalloons · 27/05/2014 15:25

Did i mention that I drive past the home ground to pick up half the team?

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 15:30

To Tantrums. Football Mum of the Year.

to be pee'd off with DS's football coach
Scholes34 · 27/05/2014 17:20

Bad choice of categories - certainly "Most Improved Player" should be in there somewhere.

It's good for the coach to pick a man of the match every week and explain why they've chosen that person. That way the youngsters understand more about what makes a good team of players and how everyone has something to contribute - not just the goal scorers.

DS1 used to play up front and score lots of goals. Now he's in goal. It's quite interesting the thrill you get when your goalie son stops play by saving a goal, and I even enjoy watching him let goals in, as he's usually having a better game and more action than when the team wins 10-0!

Here's hoping the players and spectators recognise a good goalie at the awards ceremony next week, otherwise we're off in a huff!

Shonajay · 27/05/2014 18:05

I think it's unfair. He won them fair and square, and encourage the other kids to do the same surely. I wouldn't be fuming but I'd explain the politics of it to him, so he's aware it's not his fault.

Sparklingbrook · 27/05/2014 18:07

My two play in goal Scholes. They rarely get recognised and have zero chance of getting 'top goal scorer'. Sad

DS1 also plays outfield though for another team and he has had a few awards.

NeitherTheChimeNorThePlace · 27/05/2014 18:52

Parents Player? Stupid award.

Ds2 plays, his team has Most Improved Player and Top Goalscorer.

I think taking his award away was unnecessary. He won it fair and square.

My brother won every single trophy at prize giving once, he was 19 though. He went home with 8 trophys.

bigTillyMint · 27/05/2014 19:03

YABU IMHO.
-younger children pick their mate/one they know everyone likes/top goal scorer

  • it is encouraging to all to spread the awards around

I say this as a proud mum whose DS has won many awards over the years including players player, but not all at once. Even this year in U13's, DSs manager made sure that as many boys as possible got recognised for their respective talents - it is a TEAM sport!

However, if your DS is far and away the best in the team, he might get more out of playing for a different club, where there are more at his level.

bigTillyMint · 27/05/2014 19:06

Sparkling, DSs manager and coach recognised their goalie for being mature, dependable and a great role-model. He is a top goalie and kidSmile

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