To NOT wave at my neighbour?

[mameulah]

We have a very large front window. Most of the houses on our street do. The sort of window that is basically the same size of the wall. We have lived here for a few years and it is an unwritten rule that neighbours don't look in each others windows. It is just how it is.

Anyway, the woman across the road has lived here for about a year. She is really nosy. My Mum thought I was exaggerating about how nosy she is, until she met her.

So, tonight I was sitting in living room, minding my own business watching tele. And the woman across the road walks past and waves. I didn't wave back. I pretended I didn't see. It feels really intrusive and I don't want her in 'my space'.

AIBU?

Blimey Pipbin - don't know how I've managed all these years in my City - I always smile at people and say hello - or wave

I'm not OP's neighbour as everyone I know whose living room looks out onto the road, has nets or blinds or film or shutters.

May I suggest some nice net curtains?

Yeah, that's pretty weird. All my curtains are closed because we like to walk around naked people peeking in is just weird for me. Our backyard windows have no curtains though.

I find the not saying hello thing odd too on a street when there are just a few people. Oxford Street would be different.
I clearly have no idea of this etiquette.
We have a large kitchen window at the front and no blinds, so as to maximise light. Besides, have never really seen the point in getting one.
Us cooking, washing up or eating etc really isn't that exciting.
although it felt a bit naughty going down to the kitchen half dressed the other day at 5am
Anyway, if someone is going past, we wave at them FROM our kitchen. Is this another no-no?
And some neighbours leap over the flower bed and walk across the front lawn to bang on the window for a natter. Is this ?
Rural village. Me likes it.

Put some voiles up and draw the curtains when it's dark. We have a lovely neighbour who waves if we happen to look out at the same time - we have big bay windows in our living rooms - and we look out for each other. It's just neighbourliness.

I get you OP but I am an anti social old curmudgeon

When I chase our PFB toddler round the garden I don't ever look directly into their window
I think you sound like you are a bit uptight about the window looking but weirdly not about letting your toddler run around someone else's garden.

We have a massive bay window and virtually no front garden, people nose in all the time. I think sometimes you can't help it your eyes get drawn to movement or light as you walk past.
We live very close to DC school so I see loads of the school mums who use breakfast club in the morning when I am slobbing in my PJ's we often wave at each other.
The only time it really bothered me was when there was builders over the road who leered in at me breast feeding DS3. They would stand there leaning against the wall drinking tea.

Notso I'm pretty sure the Op meant chasing the toddler around her own garden.

If you were so desperate for privacy why did you a) move to a house with a massive window b) not get some blinds or curtains?

I don't know scarletforya it's an odd set up to have one houses garden running past the window of the adjoining house surely. Maybe it is a shared garden though.

I would have said YABU previously as I am the type of person who is quite friendly with neighbours and always wave back from our house (the side of our house is only a few metres from the next neighbour's windows).
But then recently I got a creepy stalker type letter from an anonymous "neighbour" who claims to have sexual fantasies about me and to see me through the window.
Now unfortunately I don't feel inclined to wave to anyone and always close the side blinds despite lack of light. I can't help thinking this neighbour got the wrong impression just because I will wave back and say hi on the street.

My eyes are magnetically drawn to curtainless windows. If someone caught me staring I might wave at them and mouth 'hello' out of embarrassment.

When I met DH he didn't have a curtain in his bedroom. He assured me that the flats opposite were so far away no one could see in.

One morning I was getting dressed and noticed the bloke opposite at his window. He gave me a little wave...

Why don't you have blinds? There is no way I could sit basically on display in my front room watching telly, I would feel self conscious. With a window as large as you have described, people's eyes are bound to be drawn to it and you are bound to get the odd wave.

It can be really hard not to look if it's all open on display.

I'm honestly not a nosy person at all (really not that interested in other people) but I've

had a neighbour complain when I lived in flats and you walked down a balcony past front of other flats to get to mine. One flat had no curtains or blinds, and god somehow your eyes just got dragged that way. I couldn't help it - it's in your peripheral vision any way so any movement or light and ping! you are looking sideways in the window without realising. Neighbour complained about me looking and I ended up having to walk past with my head turned to the side the other way just in case my eyes flicked over.

current flats - one at side of carpark was empty and being done up. Parked right opposite it, saw in just from getting out of car. Noticed room size/layout was different to mine. Was pointing this out to OH, we were both looking in from about 15 foot away, interested as we'd assumed they were all the same, and suddenly saw a man sitting in a chair in the corner glaring at us.

If you have large windows with no covering, then naturally someone is going to wave if they spot you. How are people to know what all the "unwritten rules" are? It's just how it is that did make me chuckle!

I also like my privacy, so have blinds at the front of the house (back of the house not, as only overlooked by immediate neighbours, so not a problem) We wave merrily to each other

If it's a small community and she is known for being approachable and smily wavy maybe she felt rude not waving if she knew that you had seen her?

I second the voile curtains. I always look in at dusk, I can't help it!

I'm another one who would glance at your house and therefore look in, if you have no net curtains.

If I saw you in the house, I'm sorry but I would think it rude of me not to wave! I was always brought up to believe it is rude not to acknowledge people so in my mind, if I was looking in, then I should acknowledge you. However, I wouldn't mind if you ignored me. You are in your home and have a right to waggle your hand or not, as you see fit!

Never occurred to me that people would be offended at being waved at!!

Start sitting on your sofa naked reading Alan Titchmarsh.

For some reason this is making me . I have an image of the OP staring stonily at her tv with the neighbour youhooing and jumping up and down to get her attention.

I don't know OP. I think it's human nature to glance in isnt it?

I'm afraid I cannot help looking into curtainless windows I always look away if someone's there and sees me, hate being caught! I'm not a stalker honestly just a nosy old woman!

We live in an elevated house so no one can see in, I put nets if we did.

Yanbu, I wouldn't have waved either.

I think probably gawping into peoples rooms as you walk past is not on

Oh I'm a massive gawper. I love a dusk dogwalk when I can have a nice stare through all the curtainless windows at the lit rooms and judge people sitting with the Big Light on. I'd never wave though. Then they'd know I'd been having a peep.

No curtains and lights on. Invitation to glance in. I would personally hate it and hence no one can see in my windows.

From horseback you get a completely different perspective. And often at the back.