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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist my teenage dd stops drawing her eyebrows on

35 replies

yellowumbrella · 26/05/2014 20:00

For my wedding day.
More of a I need advice than AIBU.
I'm getting married in six weeks. For the few months I have not been able to recognise my beautiful DD (18 yo) she has taken to shaving her eyebrows off and drawing them on, I understand that this is becoming the done thing but she really does look ridiculous, really dark, heavy eyebrows. Don't get me started on the caked on orange foundation and fake tan, but that I can overlook. The eyebrows are bad, really bad. She gets negative attention just walking down the street. She's refusing to have her make up done by anyone else on the day and refusing to tone them down. AIBU to not drop this? You can tell me if I'm being a Bridezilla I'm rather stressed right now!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 26/05/2014 20:01

You have to ignore it

Storing it away for laughs in the future

Which will come Grin

Fashion is fashion. Summat to laugh at in hindsight.

Fairylea · 26/05/2014 20:01

I think, as painful as it is, you need to be able to find a way to laugh about it. When she is older in years to come it will give you a chuckle to look at her in the wedding photos.

CoffeeTea103 · 26/05/2014 20:03

Yanbu op, it looks cheap and horrible. Try convincing her that she will regret the photos later on.

Fairylea · 26/05/2014 20:04

Also.... photoshop! ?

SolomanDaisy · 26/05/2014 20:04

Could you offer to pay for her to have something professional done? Waxing and semi-permanent tattoos?

OddBoots · 26/05/2014 20:07

She's 18, you can't insist she does anything. You can however chat to her as a woman about changing fashions and the longevity of wedding photos. I wasn't much older than her when I got married myself and understood enough to try to go for a classic look so it didn't date.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 26/05/2014 20:08

Painful though it is, I think you have no choice but to accept her for how she wants to look. Asking her to change her appearance for your wedding could cause a lot of resentment

thebodylovesspring · 26/05/2014 20:08

She's a bit old at 18 to be doing this. Still not really your business as she's an adult.

Tell her she's beautiful but the eyebrows are ridiculous. Them leave it, she will learn.

Bluestocking · 26/05/2014 20:08

Have you booked your wedding photographer? Could you perhaps ask her/him to have a word with your daughter about how atrocious she'll look in the pictures?

thebodylovesspring · 26/05/2014 20:09

Also it's the ops wedding not her dds.

Littlefish · 26/05/2014 20:10

Are you having a professional photographer? Someone I know had a large graze on their face as a result of an altercation with a piece of building equipment a couple of days before the wedding and the photographer photoshopped it out. Could the photographer do the same to just one or two of your favourite photos?

SpicyPear · 26/05/2014 20:12

She's 18. You need to suck it up and look forward to the laughs you'll have over it in 5-10 years time.

deakymom · 26/05/2014 20:12

take pictures make sure you have the colour on high show her see her reaction? (i have an orange filter on my camera which highlights everything orange caught someone by accident with my camera the results were startling!)

SuburbanRhonda · 26/05/2014 20:12

Is she telling you what to wear and how to do your make-up?

If not, back off.

lottieandmias · 26/05/2014 20:12

I think the more you try to insist, the more she will try to dig her heels in tbh! I would try more subtle ways to persuade her if you can.

DorothyGherkins · 26/05/2014 20:13

Can you take some photos so you can show her what she looks like? She might not be fully aware how they look. On the other hand, it may just confirm to her how amazing she looks!

Itsfab · 26/05/2014 20:14

Play on the joys of individuality. Every other teenager has fake tan, fancy nails, painted on eyebrows, blonde long straightened hair. It is pretty boring tbh.

adoptmama · 26/05/2014 20:17

kids eh? ;)

unfortunately for you they are her eyebrows to do with as she wishes.

whilst you may be able to bribe/persuade her to take a slightly more subtle approach to her make up for your big day it is probably not going to make much difference in terms of regrowth of her eyebrows!

have you thought of getting the make up 'done' and asking her to at least wear the more subtle looking makeup until your photos are done then going as Grouch Marx as she wants for the reception?

failing that you could get her a large paper bag and ask her to cover up in your photos :) At least you'll have something to laugh at her for in the future.

Enjoy your big day - and remember, watching her one day parenting your future grandchildren will be your revenge ;)

anyoldname76 · 26/05/2014 20:17

Get a leaflet from a beauty salon about hd brows and leave it in her room, suggest she might want a professional to do her brows so she looks at her best.
I don't think you can lay the law down about this though, its upto her how she does her make up.

Nocomet · 26/05/2014 20:20

Start wearing orange foundation and black brows yourself.

See if she wants to be seen out with you?

Coconutty · 26/05/2014 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject · 26/05/2014 20:23

most teens slap up and look ridiculous (I know I did!) Bit of a shame really, to paste over what can be lovely young skin.

however if ridicule from strangers doesn't do it, then she's clearly not going to listen to you. Hopefully she will at least smile for the snaps.

Fathertedfan · 26/05/2014 20:27

Cut her a long fringe when she is asleep

piratecat · 26/05/2014 20:28

have you mentioned their darkness in passing at all, ever? How about the going for a toned down version for a wedding type comment?

how would she take it?

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 26/05/2014 20:28

Just to try to get it into perspective - will you be worrying about any of the other guests' make-up? You wouldn't think to tell them how to do their faces would you?

I know, she's your daughter, and you want her to look gorgeous. But in her eyes, she does. She feels as though she's gorgeous looking this way. Not much you can do, really.

Enjoy your day, and let her enjoy it too, both of you in your respective ways. Flowers

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