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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why it's deemed acceptable to take children out of school for cheap holidays?

331 replies

shrunkenhead · 26/05/2014 17:15

Am I the only one who thinks it's not on to make your child miss school for the sake of a cheap holiday???

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 26/05/2014 22:34

tinkerball, I'm sure you didn't mean it, but your first post sounded really superior Hmm

PrimalLass · 26/05/2014 22:35

It's the weekly school holidays in term time thread.

SuburbanRhonda · 26/05/2014 22:36

I don't really understand what it has to do with anyone else?

It certainly matters to Ofsted (rightly or wrongly) and therefore it matters to the school community. Or should do.

Sparklingbrook · 26/05/2014 22:37

It's more than weekly Primal, the one I linked to upthread was about 3 days ago. Grin

SuburbanRhonda · 26/05/2014 22:37

It's the weekly school holidays in term time thread.

I think there have been two this week Hmm

SuburbanRhonda · 26/05/2014 22:39

I need to leave and go onto "There are drug dealers outside my house. WWYD" for a bit of light relief Smile

Tinkerball · 26/05/2014 22:46

What's superior about saying I like relaxing around a pool on holiday, we all like something different ?

Tinkerball · 26/05/2014 22:47

It doesn't matter to Ofsted for me either.

MrsC1966 · 26/05/2014 22:49

No, of course not acceptable.

wobblyweebles · 26/05/2014 23:00

I asked my daughter's teacher about taking her out of school for a holiday. She said 'Of course you should! Where are you going? Kids get so much from travelling.'

This is a high-achieving education system that also allows teachers to take time off school during term time if they have a reasonable need btw.

You can value both education and travel.

SuburbanRhonda · 26/05/2014 23:12

What's superior about saying I like relaxing around a pool on holiday

That's not what you posted, tinkerball.

And I'll bet you would care if your DC's school went into special measures because of low attendance (it happens).

SuburbanRhonda · 26/05/2014 23:19

wobbly, it's not up to your DD's teacher to authorise absences during term time, so of course she would say it's ok.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/05/2014 23:21

+I would feel comfortable teaching my DD that if you disagree with a rule, and breaking it will not harm yourself or anybody else, then it is okay to break that rule so long as you are willing to accept the consequences (eg: a fine)*

Hopefully you'll be just as relaxed when she grows up and loses a job because of he attitude you've taught her ...

brdgrl · 26/05/2014 23:31

Another one of these threads.

I'll make the decision about what will most benefit my child. If that is having a holiday which will be more enriching than the day or week of school, I'll take her.

If there are pressing family circumstances (a visit to a sick relation, or a reprieve during a time of emotional turmoil), I'll take her.

Judge away. I'm a university lecturer, I have a high regard for education in all its forms, and I'm a great mum. I have no concerns whatsoever regarding my child's ability to succeed academically at this stage of her life. I also haven't the slightest concern that she will be morally or vocationally crippled by my decision.

Meow75 · 26/05/2014 23:50

I can't believe how many of you have taken the bait from the OP for this thread!!!

Does this one and the one linked tie for "Goadiest thread of the month"?

chesterberry · 26/05/2014 23:50

Hopefully you'll be just as relaxed when she grows up and loses a job because of he attitude you've taught her ...

Obviously I won't be pleased if she loses a job because of that attitude, although in that scenario the consequence will be causing her harm which goes against my ethos. Luckily I don't believe that the attitudes I will teach my daughter will cause her to be reckless - obviously I will not teach them in such a simplistic way as I am outlining here and the idea that it is sometimes okay to break rules will be taught alongside many other values, morals and ethics. That it is sometimes okay to break rules is my attitude and I have never lost a job because of it so I don't assume my DD won't be sensible enough to weigh up the consequences herself. T

he idea that it is okay to break rules is not the main motto I live by and nor will it be the first or only value I teach my DD, however if I did take her out of school for a holiday and she questioned why it was okay for me to break the rules I wouldn't feel that was a problem and would explain the viewpoint that rules are made to keep us or others safe/happy etc but that sometimes the people making the rules get it wrong and that in those cases it is okay to break the rule. Of course I wouldn't be discussing it until I thought she was old enough to understood the difference between an important rule and an okay-to-break rule and wouldn't necessarily be suggesting she start making her own decisions about which rules to break. I do appreciate my DD is only a baby and I may be being naive or simplistic regarding how I will teach her attitudes/values etc but I don't believe that to teach her that sometimes it is okay to break a rule automatically means she is going to become somebody who can't distinguish between rules it is okay to break and rules that need to be kept in order to function in society.

wobblyweebles · 26/05/2014 23:57

SuburbanRhonda actually it is my teacher's role to authorise absences in term time.

calmet · 26/05/2014 23:57

Those who argue against taking children out of school for a holiday, often forget that some people because of their work, are not allowed annual leave during school holidays. My dad was in a job like this for a few years. We could not have a family holiday at all, without my parents taking me out of school.

BolshierAyraStark · 27/05/2014 00:15

Do whatever works for you & keep your nose out of what works for others-perhaps you have more disposable income than those who choose to go term time, either way it has fuck all to do with you.
HTH

brdgrl · 27/05/2014 00:28

When did holidays become a right, not just a nice thing to do if you can?

Well. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights says that we all have a right to rest and leisure. I suppose that's too vague to actually protect a right to a holiday, but it gestures in that direction.

The UN Declaration on the Rights of the Child, on the other hand, says
The child is entitled to receive education, which shall be free and compulsory, at least in the elementary stages. He shall be given an education which will promote his general culture and enable him, on a basis of equal opportunity, to develop his abilities, his individual judgement, and his sense of moral and social responsibility, and to become a useful member of society.
The best interests of the child shall be the guiding principle of those responsible for his education and guidance; that responsibility lies in the first place with his parents. (italics mine)
The child shall have full opportunity for play and recreation, which should be directed to the same purposes as education; society and the public authorities shall endeavour to promote the enjoyment of this right.

brdgrl · 27/05/2014 00:28

Well, italics would have been mine, if that had worked.

TraceyTrickster · 27/05/2014 02:31

It seems that the UK sees parents who really don't bother sending their kids to school and decides that to catch this group (who are a small minority) they will wave a huge stick.

Missing the odd bit of school in primary does not hurt. My daughter went to a school in South London and there were loads of parents who could not be bothered to take their kids to school.

We are now in Aus, and taking your kids out of school is fine...they recognise lots of people are migrants and need to take kids long distances...but there is no problem taking your children out, you jsut fill in an on line form. My daughter has missed maybe 8 days in 18 months and seems miraculously- to be up with the class AND able to read and do maths.

Not sure why everyone is so fixated on 100pct attendance, when occasionally missing school in a planned way is not devastating.

MistressDeeCee · 27/05/2014 03:01

OP - well obviously you know the answer to your question is 'No'.

Im not going to knock anyone who does it though. Im more annoyed that parents subsidise those who can go on holiday childfree. The childfrees get cheaper deals all year round. Travel agents are pisstakers. They must love the colluding school rulings on holidays

SuburbanRhonda · 27/05/2014 08:19

wobbly, you must be in a different country then, or maybe in a different system?

In the state system here, it is the HT, directed by the LA, directed by the government, who authorises absences.

I'm sure the teachers I work with are pleased not to have this responsibility, thus avoiding endless conversations with parents about why one child's absence is authorised and not another's Smile

SuburbanRhonda · 27/05/2014 08:34

bolshier, shame you felt you had to live up to your NN and be the first person to resort to bad language on this thread.

I manage attendance in one of my schools. Tbh I would much prefer it if parents were just honest about their intentions and just said "We're going on holiday - like it or lump it."

I get fed up with fake excuses (yes, they've both been ill and I thought they should spend time outside which is why they both came back with a tan), justifications (his attendance is normally excellent and his grades are fine), blaming (why don't you take it up with the travel companies?) and outright lies (it's just as educational as being in school and they do nothing in the last week anyway).

It is actually other people's business - as you will have read upthread, schools can be put into special measures for poor attendance and that affects the whole school community.