What fresh ASDA Hell is this?!
Gnomes are evil.
I mean it, I'm scarred for life because of a garden gnome story in Mandy or Judy or Bunty or whatever girls comic it was I ended up reading as a child.
Family move into new house, elderly owner has disappeared but there's a sweet little gnome in the garden. Family admire and then completely forget it but the moment their backs are turned that gnome gets glowing red eyes and an evil smile and you just know that family are living on borrowed time.
Next thing you know, new young couple are moving into the same house and admiring the sweet little stone family group they find in the garden and make a comment about how much nicer it is that a rotten old gnome and how odd it is that the family who lived in the house 'just disappeared'.
They turn their backs on the stone family and all four pairs of eyes start to glow red and their smiles are all evil and that new couple are as good as dead.
Scarred. For. Life.
Ikea have the right idea. They're a Swedish company. They understand gnomes and they made a very educating video on how to kill the little buggers. Trust Ikea on this and buy a high pressure hose and a bloody big hammer for your own protection.