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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dear dog lovers/owners...

344 replies

INeedABiggerBoat · 25/05/2014 19:35

A few tips for 'dog lovers':

  • Don't leave your young children to pet a dog while you p* off to the loo or go to buy a pint, without checking with the dog's owners first. Dogs may not find your children as adorable as you do. Some dogs also bite children/when scared and I'm betting you won't be blaming yourself if that happens.
  • It is not okay to feed a dog without its owners' permission - especially when you give the dog a small bone that could choke it/splinter in its throat. Unless you're happy for us to pass on the vet bill to you.

And one for dog owners:

  • Whistling for your unleashed dog to follow you while you merrily cycle off home does not constitute 'having control' of your dog.

Any other tips to add, MN-ers?

OP posts:
Staywithme · 26/05/2014 14:10

I must admit I do walk a wonderful lab that likes to walk up to people and look at them to see if they have any treats. He never touches them, literally no touching even with his nose, and I'm trying to discourage him from doing so. He's not my dog so the training takes a bit longer. The bit that I don't understand is why people get angry if a dog owner says " don't worry he's safe". I've never had any none dog owner take offence. Maybe they're just more used to dogs in this particular park.

I know I'm going to get posters shouting about the fact that he approaches people. How ever if you're approached by a dog would you not be more concerned if the owner came running over to retrieve the dog of called the dog back without reassuring you. The owner is not making excuses he/she is simply trying to reassure you.

SirChenjin · 26/05/2014 14:22

I agree Goblin

Stay - no, please don't tell me that the dog is safe, for several reasons.

  1. You cannot guarantee that your dog is safe. You cannot - not 100%.
  2. It may be unlikely/extremely unlikely/nigh on impossible for your dog to bite me. However, I don't want it coming up to me, and I certainly don't want to second guess why it's approaching me.
  3. The fact that it has approached me (whether that's just an ambling up to me or a bounding up to me, barking and jumping about) means that it is not sufficiently trained that it will walk to heel at all times.

You won't (generally) get non-dog owners take offence because a)they're usually too polite, b)they just want to get the hell away, c)you're the one with the dog, and they don't know if you've trained it to bite, or attack, or run at people, d)a n other reason.

WaywardOn3 · 26/05/2014 14:31

I walk my dogs on their own and as a whole pack off lead and on lead.

If your child doesn't know how to respond to a dog on a path next to its owner or is scared of dogs please remove your child from the path. I'm not a mind reader and it is in no way acceptable for your child to shriek and full on kick my dog in his stomach.

Yes I did give you a piece of my mind, yes I did raise my voice and yes I will do it again if you put your child and my dog in that situation again!

If you know your child will react in extreme ways near dogs either alert the dog owner so they can keep their dog safe or move your child to a safer place

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/05/2014 14:36

The bit that I don't understand is why people get angry if a dog owner says " don't worry he's safe"

I wouldn't say "angry" exactly ... "uncertain" would be closer to it, I guess

After all they're animals; you can't ask a dog if it feels like attacking someone, you can't discuss things with it and you certainly can't read its mind. All you can do is go with whatever its current mood seems to be - and that mood can sometimes change in an instant

Alisvolatpropiis · 26/05/2014 14:49

I always say that my dog is safe to pet, when asked.

If a dog approaches people, ignoring recall - then it's too excited to be off the lead and goes back on.

I'm very conscious that even my tiny Jack Russell is rather large in the eyes of a small child.

I remember a massive dog bounding over to greet my Nan's yorkie when I was little. I was terrified and my Nan had to firmly hold me still otherwise I'd have flapped and run. Which the dog might have interpreted as a game and given chase as a result. It was a friendly dog and just wanted a sniff. It might as well have been an elephant to me though and I've never forgotten that.

SirChenjin · 26/05/2014 14:52

Alis - see that is absolutely the right approach and attitude. Thank you Smile

MillyONaire · 26/05/2014 14:57

Don't let your dog run out of your property onto a PUBLIC road to bark at me or snap at my heels when I am running past - I cannot see how anyone thinks this is okay. Also, when I am running past and your dog is not on a lead, his wanting to sniff me means I have to stop or trip over him!!

HercShipwright · 26/05/2014 15:01

Dear dog owner. If your dog is not under control, don't take it on a running path. If there is a dedicated dog walking path just over there, don't take it on the running path. I do not want to be friends with your dog.

Goblinchild · 26/05/2014 15:03

I admit that if I see a dog making a beeline for me, and the owner whistles or gives a single command and the dog instantly returns to them, that makes me like that owner and that dog.
The dog is under control, and the owner has their wits about them.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/05/2014 15:04

How refreshing, Alisvolatpropiis - someone who quite rightly enjoys their pet but also appreciates that others may not share quite the same enthuiasm

We all need to share the same space and usually manage it pretty well, but I admit the "my dog has rights!!!" crowd worry me; it's always seemed the hallmark of a certain type of dog owner - and a certain type of dog Hmm

HercShipwright · 26/05/2014 15:04

stay I don't care if your dog is safe or not. I care that he is not under control and that you seem to think that's fine. If your dog approaches people unasked he shouldn't be off the league, whether he's bitten anyone yet or not. I wasn't bitten by the dog that went for me. I still ended up with broken glasses, needing stitches, and unable to run outside alone because I'm now too scared. I'm sure his owner still tells people he's safe because he didn't bite me.

HercShipwright · 26/05/2014 15:05

Goblin - I love dogs who go back when called. I love owners of dogs like that. Sadly they are let down by others.

Borka · 26/05/2014 15:10

I've been told 'He's just being friendly' by the owner of a dog that had just sunk it's teeth into my knee.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/05/2014 15:13

Well they got that out of order, Borka!! In my experience that's the second part of the dog mantra after " he wouldn't hurt a fly." The bit where they bite usually results in "Ooooo he's never done that before" Wink

Staywithme · 26/05/2014 15:13

If dogs are kept on leads at all times then there will be an increase in badly behaved dogs and dog bites as the bigger dogs NEED of lead in order to get proper exercise and to socialise with other dogs. There are NO dog parks here or I would gladly go somewhere with my of lead dogs when the fair weather walkers descend on the beach and I'm treated like a leaper.

I will also be able to avoid the screaming, out if control kids running up to my dogs to grab them or running screaming to their equally paranoid parents when the dogs are 15 ft away from them and have no interest in them. They even do this when the dogs on lead. FFS. Yes you enjoy being out on a good day but I enjoy walking my dogs, so why should I stop just because you don't like it? I'm not going out of my way to offend you. Why should my enjoyment of the places I walk all year be over ruled by those that are only there when the sun shines? The lab is the only one that, very gently, approaches and on the days the beach is particular busy I UNFORTUNATELY keep him on lead.

MirandaGoshawk · 26/05/2014 15:16

Please don't let your dog go thrashing through crops or bluebells or through the reeds in the shallows of the river where the birds nest. Sad. I'm thinking of you, arrogant Scottish bloke.

And the people who threw balls into the bluebells or just encouraged their dogs to have a jolly good time instead of keeping them on the paths - now the bluebells are all flattened in places.

everlong · 26/05/2014 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Staywithme · 26/05/2014 15:33

Right I'm leaving the conversation now because I know some of us will never agree with each other re dogs. I'm sure we'll all bump into each other on other threads and agree on many things as would happen in the real world. Grin Take care every on and enjoy your walks.

Staywithme · 26/05/2014 15:34

Thank you Everlong. Smile

rumbleinthrjungle · 26/05/2014 15:36

Dear bikers: please get a bell and use it. I have trained my dog multiple times not to be scared of bikes so she won't bark at you or lunge in front of you, but every time when after weeks of patient work she gets more confident, someone on a bike shoots silently past us at high speed from behind, I jump, she jumps and all my work is undone again. Just let me know you're coming and I'll have a few seconds to get her attention, warn her and you'll have a calm dog who stays sitting while you pass by and not a panicking one. To the ones who call out or attract my attention as they approach, thank you!

Dear parents in the garden centre last weekend - please DONT tell your two year old that if he will agree not to stand up in the trolley bed he has already fallen out of twice in the past ninety seconds, he can pet my cute, fluffy dog without checking with me first. He can't, not because I'm a mardy cow but because she's scared of strangers and if you shove your innocent little tot in her face she'll bark and scare him. And please don't carry your toddler up behind me and plonk her little hand directly on my dog's face before I've even realised you're there when I've picked her up because I know she's getting anxious. I have an animal with a personality and feelings, not a bloody stuffed toy available to anyone who fancies a cuddle.

gorionine · 26/05/2014 15:38

Dear Dog owner, when my family is having a picnic, it is not a self service for your dog! (had a dog pinching a whole bag of croissants from us in the park and another one slices of pizza on the beach) if despite you effort your dog still help themselves with someone's food please stay long enough to apologise.

SirChenjin · 26/05/2014 15:44

Of course it's feasible to walk a dog on a lead at all times - plenty of dog owners do and the dog doesn't end up a quivering, nervous wreck. As for the claim that this leads to badly behaved, out of control dogs - evidence please??

Having said that, I do accept that there are dog owners who prefer to walk their dog off the lead. If that's you, then make sure your dog bothers no-one (whether that's 'gently approaching' Hmm or bounding up to people), that its recall is 100%, that you give other people in the vicinity plenty of space to enjoy their day out without your dog running all over the place and getting in their way, and make sure you always, always pick up.

That way, everyone is happy and you and your dog are not seen as PITA

everlong · 26/05/2014 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/05/2014 15:54

Why should my enjoyment of the places I walk all year be over ruled by those that are only there when the sun shines?

Well, it seems to me that both your dog and the walkers get to enjoy a good time on the beach, although at different times

Personally, I'd call that sharing ...

everlong · 26/05/2014 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.