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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dear dog lovers/owners...

344 replies

INeedABiggerBoat · 25/05/2014 19:35

A few tips for 'dog lovers':

  • Don't leave your young children to pet a dog while you p* off to the loo or go to buy a pint, without checking with the dog's owners first. Dogs may not find your children as adorable as you do. Some dogs also bite children/when scared and I'm betting you won't be blaming yourself if that happens.
  • It is not okay to feed a dog without its owners' permission - especially when you give the dog a small bone that could choke it/splinter in its throat. Unless you're happy for us to pass on the vet bill to you.

And one for dog owners:

  • Whistling for your unleashed dog to follow you while you merrily cycle off home does not constitute 'having control' of your dog.

Any other tips to add, MN-ers?

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 26/05/2014 16:31

I don't take my dog anywhere that he is likely to cause a nuisance, and he has 99% recall. Wildfowl are his downfall.

I was quite shocked the other day when walking along the canal towpath. Two ladies on the other side, chatting away, ignoring their dogs who were quite a distance in front. Two chaps fishing, one enjoying his lunch and the dogs went up to him and tried to snaffle his sarnies. He had to shout out to the women in the end to please call their dog off. I didn't hear them apologise.

It's people like that who give dog owners a bad name.

gorionine · 26/05/2014 16:33

It is not about not abiding dogs, they are animals, they do not know any better but surely their human owner should be in charge and not the other way round. I can actually understand that a dog needs to run freely. One rule though: if your dog scares someone, not only do you have to call it back but you have to make sure he does so straight away too!

SirChenjin · 26/05/2014 16:34

No Goblin - I have no heart. I can't abide dogs apparently Grin

Dogs can and do manage to thrive perfectly well on the lead. If you've chosen to raise it as a dog that gets free rein of public parks, beaches, trails, fields etc (and to heck with all those dog haters out there, you and your dogs have rights...) then of course your dog is used to being exercised in that way. If, on the other hand, you exercise it on lead then it will cope abosolutely fine - and lead a happy, healthy life where it doesn't take over a public space or irritate others trying to enjoy a quiet day out without having to "fuss over" your "gently approaching" mutt.

matildasquared · 26/05/2014 16:34

You'll note that most of those have the caveat along the lines of: It helps to think about what dogs were originally bred for when determining the quantity and type of exercise they need.

So if someone chooses to get a breed needing a lot of exercise, and thinks, "Hey, that's what the park is for!" Selfish.

Goblinchild · 26/05/2014 16:36

I've always wanted a leopard, but the rules about keeping them are far to restrictive nowadays
[[http://kingdomofstyle.typepad.co.uk/.a/6a00d8341c2f0953ef012875615d47970c-500wi]

SirChenjin · 26/05/2014 16:37

LteEve - none of that counts as 'evidence' in the true sense of the word unfortunately. We're looking for systematic reviews, meta analyses and RCTs...

barkingtreefrog · 26/05/2014 16:38

I really can't believe some of the attitudes on here. No, I am not going to keep my dogs on the lead at all times. I call them to heel when I see children aproaching just in case they are wary. If it's really busy and my dogs are just running around in the woodland off the path I'll just let them be, they're not interested in dogs or humans they don't know and they're less in the way than bringing them on to the footpath.

mousmous and matilda I do run (and fell run) with my dog, but if you think a springer spaniel or a collie can get enough exercise without being let off the lead I'd like to see you run around 50k in 3 hours. Every day. How can my dogs catch a frisbie, chase a tennis ball or learn agility tricks if they're on a lead?

Matilda would you advocate keeping your children on a leash at any time that you can't see round a corner? It seems a strange thing to say. I'm not suggesting you should put your children on a leash, I'm just baffled by the idea. I keep my dog in sight, just like I keep children in sight, but I wouldn't keep my dog on a lead or hold the children by the hand just because I can't see round a corner.
I am a runner and have in the past when running had very bad experiences of dogs, twice reducing me to tears while stood on top of a drystone wall not having a clue how to get out of the situation (owners nowhere in sight). Despite being a dog owner myself I am still scared of dogs that I fear are not under control and have the same concerns as you. I don't feel the need to demand that every dog is put on a lead though. In twelve years of running 3 times a week in many places round the UK I've had just 2 bad experiences.

I was appalled recently when I took my dog for a run, tied him up to a fence to go to the toilet, and came out to find an entire school group crowded round him, patting and petting and fussing him. He's great with kids, he's grown up with them, used to being messed with etc, but those kids and those teachers didn't know that! What the hell were they thinking?

everlong · 26/05/2014 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LtEveDallas · 26/05/2014 16:39

I walk the mutt every day on MOD owned land which includes woods, fields, a training area and a dog dive pool. At least once a week I come across humans, without dogs, exercising their 'right' to be on this land - except they have no right.

I have had to warn off families with children that have come to 'pick the blackberries' 'play in the woods' 'make a shelter' 'see some deer' and other reasons. Every time I have politely told them why this isn't a good idea (especially in the bomb disposal training area) I have been told I am selfish, or irresponsible or lying.

I've used the area to train rescue dogs recall, and have done it so they have a chance on the outside. But then been berated for the fact that the dogs have run up to them. Well, d'uh - that's why I have permission to be here and you don't.

So for every selfish dog owner there is also a selfish non-dog owner, and that has made me less likely to be charitable towards them.

Some of us are trying to make a difference - and they aren't helping.

Goblinchild · 26/05/2014 16:45

Do you think that more dog wardens, and more seize and destroy options for dogs that are not under control would be better?
So that if a dog chased a runner or a cyclist causing an accident, or broke the skin with a nip or a bite or a scratch, they were PTS automatically?
That way when an owner said 'My dog is under control' they'd better be certain about it.

matildasquared · 26/05/2014 16:45

everlong I have and have commented on them.

I too like the idea of a dog having some time off lead. That's why I wouldn't dream of getting a dog in my tiny house with its tiny garden.

matildasquared · 26/05/2014 16:46

I'd be grateful if you'd respond to my question of why, when you know it frightens people to have your dog approach their children, you still allow this.

matildasquared · 26/05/2014 16:47

Ugh, you know what? Never mind. I've read enough "need" and "deserve" for one day. Go in peace.

everlong · 26/05/2014 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 26/05/2014 16:49

I did read them - I've already said, they aren't evidence.

In fact, I have no problem with dogs being off lead as long as they don't bother anyone - but as the majority of dog owners on here have admitted, their dogs do sniff/gently approach/go up to/bother people. Apparently it's not a big deal though Hmm

Goblinchild · 26/05/2014 16:52

Course you haven't everlong, it's not an issue for you.
I'd say causing an accident such as a cyclist falling off, or breaking the skin of a stranger, or acting like a yob in the middle of someone else's picnic, or...
That sort of thing.
In addition to full on aggressive attacks involving the victim requiring medical attention.

LtEveDallas · 26/05/2014 16:55

LteEve - none of that counts as 'evidence' in the true sense of the word unfortunately. We're looking for systematic reviews, meta analyses and RCTs...

Well if my links aren't good enough for you SirChenjin, could you please provide 'evidence' (systematic reviews, meta analyses and RCTs) for dogs NOT needing off lead time.

Thanks.

GreeboOgg · 26/05/2014 16:56

So if someone chooses to get a breed needing a lot of exercise, and thinks, "Hey, that's what the park is for!" Selfish.

Yes, that is what the park is for. As well as ball games, picnics, and erratically controlled bikes and scooters zooming up and down the paths. None of these activities are selfish, although they may take up space in the park and even annoy others there. The thing about shared public spaces is you have to, y'know, share them.

I really don't think that the majority of the population would regard exercising the dog in the park as bizarre, unusual behaviour.

That doesn't mean it's OK for dogs to be out of control, anymore than it's OK to kick a football into somebodies face or mow them down with a scooter.

everlong · 26/05/2014 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 26/05/2014 17:03

Hmm, my large breed's never off the lead but he's well exercised and happy. Rescue sight hound though so deaf to all recall when a small furry pops up.

We have to avoid all parks where dogs exercise. He's terrified of other breeds and has awful fear aggression. So the friendly off lead dog who legs it up for a hello can his behaviour as aggressive and become aggressive in turn. It's happened before, horrible. We can't take him to 'dog friendly' places for this reason, nor can we take him where dogs are not allowed! Funny situation. We have a big garden though, as do the in laws so he gets a good lot of leggit round time.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 26/05/2014 17:05

And he has one friend he is happy to 'dog' with. She's elderly though :(

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/05/2014 17:08

Sorry, Everlong - I completely agree that unreasoning terror is out of place too, but I really don't think you do yourself any favours by claiming never to have seen an out-of-control dog

Nobody's suggesting all of them are like this, just as nobody's saying all dog owners are irresponsible ... but to suggest you've never seen it???

gorionine · 26/05/2014 17:08

everlong I do apologise in advance but I will answer the question you asked to Goblin. When my 3yo son was pushed on the ground by a dog ON A LEAD that then stayed on top of DS whilst his owner kept on saying (appologetically I must say)" I cannot get him off, he is too big" that was a dog out of control because quite simply the owner did not have the authority or the physical strength to keep her beast under control.
When a dog keeps on coming back jumping at your child because of the colour their are dressed in again and again (I could hardly change Dd's clothes in the middle of woods) That is an out of control dog.
When a dog pinches someone's food with the owners doing sod all that is a dog out of control.
Just to make things clear I have absolutely nothing against dogs , what I cannot abide are irresponsible dog owners.
it was that type of dog on my DS

barkingtreefrog · 26/05/2014 17:29

To me, an out of control dog is one that will not respond to commands. If it's been recalled and does not come, that is not under control. In my mind a dog that will not recall/lie down at distance if preferred should not be off the lead. After doing well initially as a puppy, my dog suddenly stopped coming if there was something more interesting. We put him straight back on a lead and started training again, spending a couple of months on a long static lead reinforcing solid recall before letting him back off.

A dog that runs up to another dog that's on a lead (another pet hate of mine; if there's a dog on a lead, give it space) or runs up to a human, but isn't being told not to, is a dog owner out of control.

There is one dog in my local park that is out of control, with an owner equally out of control. If I see this dog I call my dog over to heel and we leave immediately. I don't trust the owner, I don't trust the dog, I don't want either of them anywhere near me or my dog.

Our park is a 'dog' park and you will always see lots of dogs in it at all times of day. However, there is a children's playground that is completely fenced off and dog free, and other outdoor sports facilities and a large grass area that are fenced off and dog free. It works brilliantly.