Lighthearted: AIBU to not want someone to knit whilst I'm giving a seminar?

[matildasquared]

I'm honestly curious.

Part of my job involves giving trainings, sometimes in workplaces, sometimes in adult education classes. They last for a full or a half day.

I don't really stand on ceremony, of course. I tell people if they want a bathroom break or a cup of tea, no need to wait for the break.

Last week I was giving a training for volunteers at a particular organisation and one of the women up front took our her knitting just as I was beginning. I did a double-take and she noticed and said, "Oh, I always do this at presentations and lectures, it helps me concentrate." The people around her nodded.

I just shrugged and carried on. It was a good session.

Now if I were in a role of a long-term instructor or advisor or something I would have taken her aside and let her know how unprofessional it looked. But I'm not, it wasn't my place, so I didn't.

But AIBU in feeling really disrespected? My reaction really surprised me, because I don't think of myself as really rigid and uptight. And certainly I can listen intently to something whilst my hands are occupied--just listened to the radio whilst making jam, in fact. But it just seemed so damned rude. I had to really swallow down the urge to say, "Put that away, I'm not a TV!"

Would you have felt the same?

Women used to happily concentrate on watching executions while knitting. Think how snubbed you'd feel then!

More seriously listening to someone speak for any length of time is difficult, at least I find it hard. She says it helps her concentrate and I'm inclined to believe her. It wouldn't have distracted her. And most good knitters seem to practise their craft very quietly IME.

I have Invaderzin's competency in knitting too. I knit because I like to, not because of any disability, and because I think it's a good use of time.

Also, preliminary examinations is usually shortened just to prelims.

I fail to understand how one woman knitting can be distracting/rude, but all and sundry heading off for the loo or making cups of tea isn't?

I can't see how it hurt you for her to be knitting, and as she's a volunteer who doesn't have to be there at all, I don't think you're in a position to complain. For the same reason, you are wrong to use that extremely hackneyed term "entitled" to describe her.

Just being a volunteer doesn't give you carte blanche to do absolutely anything you like hmm Otherwise I could volunteer in a charity shop stark naked and nobody could complain.

I never said it did.

I think it's really rude. Even if she 'doesn't have to be there at all' because she's a volunteer - you still give the person doing the seminar your full attention.

I would find it very distracting if I was sat near her, same as someone fidgeting.

""Oh, I always do this at presentations and lectures, it helps me concentrate." The people around her nodded."
It might help her concentrate, but I find it odd that she couldn't imagine her knitting could make it difficult for other people to concentrate. Personally, if I was sitting next to someone knitting in a seminar, I'd find it very distracting.

OP, do you think they were nodding that she always does it, or nodding that it helps her to concentrate?

I think its an incredibly rude thing to do, if she doesn't have to be there then she shouldn't go!!! I can't believe anybody would think this is ok, blimey, how was she brought up?

As the people are her nodded (according to OP), then they obviously weren't that bothered by it. Personally, I don't see what your problem is, other than you appear to feel slighted.

Some people do use activities such as knitting to deal with concentration or even feeling claustrophobic in these types of situations. My mother does - she knits and always has done - for years, she was knitting at our school programmes, concerts, and so on. Nobody was offended. She didn't make noise and made minimal movements. I've sat next to her numerous times while she was knitting, and it just wasn't that big a deal (and I'm one that is very easily distracted). And if someone near me was distracting me in some way during a training situation, I'd most likely take the first opportunity to move to another seat, just like I would if someone was doing anything else that distracted or annoyed me.

I find it rather offensive that you would expect people to disclose medical information/disability information to you (especially in front of the rest of a group of their peers) to justify this. And quite frankly, asking them in an email to disclose this is also not appropriate. Firstly, she may not have a disability at all - it may simply be something that aids her in concentrating or staying calm in a crowded environment. She doesn't need to have a recognised disability for that, you know. Or she may have a disability, but not actually consider it a disability issue IYSWIM, but rather just "something to help in concentration."

You say this is "lighthearted" but you seem pretty annoyed over something very minor. YABU. You're taking this far too personally. Get over it. It's knitting, and she did explain why she was doing it, which was a valid reason. You come across as rather deflated and irritated that she wasn't gazing at you raptly while you were talking.

as the people around her nodded... typo

Even if she 'doesn't have to be there at all' because she's a volunteer - you still give the person doing the seminar your full attention.

But isn't that the point? She's doing it precisely because it helps her give her full attention. I really don't understand why the OP thinks that's rude.
I regularly give seminars to various groups of people, this wouldn't bother me at all.

Women used to happily concentrate on watching executions while knitting. Think how snubbed you'd feel then!

:)

As a knitter, I can hear/concentrate on what people are saying if I am doing something with my hands At the same time. If I wasn't knitting, I would be doodling.

And knitters tend to take something easy to knit, something that doesn't require looking at a pattern every two seconds, if they are going to be knitting in public.

I think it's the repetitive motion that help.

Yes I would have found it rude, and distracting. But then, I also find people swigging out of plastic bottles rude and distracting when I am teaching.

I can't see its an issue. Why should it matter.