getting envious of people in decent social housing, when i have no right to be envious

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i am being a total twat today
even annoying myself

but close to wear we live there are some really realy nice brand new houses being built
30% of these houses are going to be social housing

these houses to but cost in the region of 250k three bed semi

we currently live 10min walk away in a 3 bedroom house

these new ones have been built in a traditional style and are really nice, although the gardens are very small

i have no reason to be envious as we own our house, which is probably worth around 200k and have a morgage of about 100k which we can afford quite comfortably
and i realise when we are older,assuming we live that long,
that we will have an asset, although suppose theres a good chance that could get sold to pay for a care home or whatever

anyway

i suppose this am walking past i was just thinking these people that move in will have lucked out big time

i understand that not all social housing, in fact the vast majority are no where near as nice
and that its a kind of massive lottery who gets what home, you could have one family struggling to get housed anywhere, another family in a mouldy inadequate smelly flat yet another family who virtually hit the jackpot with one of these homes

i don't know why im getting envious about it
perhaps its the bloody tory goverment polluting my mind
perhaps i need some brain bleach and a good lie down

i realise i might stick over this, thats fair enough i can take it

but i really do not want to feel this way and i was really wondering why i do and how to correct it

i live in SH
we had our own house(with a mortgage)
the we had a child with a SERIOUS disability.
we were VERY lucky and got the SH house we now have. it is an adapted house and with further adaptions it meets our childs needs.
BUT we will never own it, we will all ways be looked down on as we live in SH and have people say stuff like....
"yes i think your onto something there
its like ive been brain washed to think social housing is sponging or something"
but its ok, cos I "envy" people who have a chance of one day owning their own home
and who don't have a lifetime of care to look forward too.

When you buy your own house you get to decide what and where you buy according to your budget and you BUY it. Choice is the privilege you pay for.

My granny lived all her life in a council house until she moved to a council care home. There was little choice in all that and that was the good old days of tiny rents. Her son didn't aspire to a council house.

I would bet there are few ordinary social housing occupants who wouldn't prefer to be owner occupiers. I do think that we've been sold an image of a world of scroungers. They do exist but they aren't the norm.

Our mortgage is much more than yours btw. I can't deny the idea of lower payments being nice but I would rather be independent and beholden to no-one

I am currently in a Hostel waiting to be housed.

I am here because I have suffered abuse and me and my DS's were in serious risk.

I have no one around me and I am in an area that is completely new.

You have your family, you have your life and something your DC's will be proud of you for.

I will not live in fear anymore for me and my DC's when we move but trust me OP you're the lucky one.

Why wouldyou grudge somebody a decent house for their family when I was in social housing I would have chewed my hand off for one of the new builds near me just be grateful councils and h a are building new houses btw the rents o these houses are expensive

Yabu op you own your house

I'm in council housing and, for lots of reasons, prob never will

I've thought about all your comments

and I honestly think the government and media have been brain washing me
As ive started to think things that are not me

Im honestly keen on building more social housing
I do not want families living in bad homes in bad areas
I do not like the way people on benefits are demonised

I certainly do not judge people that do not work

I hate the way sone people who pay a huge amount of tax think they are somehow more entitled to a bigger say
or that that gives them the right to avoid paying their fair share of tax by tricks like tax aviodence programmes
and saying well they pat more than enough into thw system anyway

I don't know guess I need to remind myself of my own views
not the ones we seem to be constantly told to think

Pleased to see you are taking people's comments on board OP. There's a family down the street from me who live in a housing association house. Nice house, nice area. They are there because of the terminal illness of one parent. Now the other lives there alone with the children. Nobody wants to be in those shoes. Any government that tries to persuade you to have feelings of anger or envy in that situation is a government that needs kicking in to the long grass.

Social housing is nothing to do with benefits.. why do people keep trying to link the two?

I was where you are a few months back in my thinking - envious of people with bigger house than ours. We live in a modest new build 3 bed semi. I know we can move within the next five years but I still looked on at others houses...

So I get the envy thing. All these reports on the news have be tetchy to move about pricing bubbles and intererst rate rises. It can creep into your pores I think.

I am trying to be more mindful of what is the here and now and around - I look and I see a nicely furnished home in a good area with healthy kids, good schools. I ve really made and effort to let go of grass is greener.

I dont know if this applies to you OP but Im trying to focus on experiences rather than possessions. I dont like all these 'wants' that keeping popping up.

I gues this is why some people reject convetional society and goto live in comununes and such like

gamer valid point but I think most people on benefits require social housing as they are not able to access mortgages to buy.

OP I send you a hug :) I was hugely jealous of everyone who had housing when I wasn't housed. Even now when I have partial housing (I still sleep on the floor 2 nights a week, but this is fine) and I am happy, I sometimes wish I had a flat of my own. Won't happen, but I love the idea.

The housing situation can look confusing and weird if you're outside it....

Typical middle class moaner, never satisfied despite being one of the most privileged groups in the world.

22honey that's no more a valid statement than the benefit bashing in the Daily Mail.

'given a house for nothing.'

They are renting a home. Yes, many are in work. 80% of those claiming housing benefit work.

The home is not theirs to own.

They are renting the space and not free of charge.

No, but its a statement never made anywhere else and nowhere near as much as benefit bashing as middle class people are seen as justified in their sense of entitlement.

I have four children- and am privately renting a house that I can barely afford at £900 a month. We have had to move 4 times in the last 6 years due to landlords selling up. And it looks like we will have to move again after being here for only 20 months. I would love to buy our own house and have the security of not having to move but due to high renting costs we have zero deposit to put down. So will just have to put up with the situation.
There is always someone worse off then you no matter what u are going through. But I for one would love to be in your situation.
Yabu

Their rent might not be that low since a lot of new social housing tenancies are up to 80% of market rent. This is the only way that councils/HA's can build new social housing.

My cousin and his wife pay full rent on a new H A house last time I spoke to them they were paying nearly 600 a month so not that low really

B3fore we bought a house we were paying full council rent of 480 for a flat this was 8 years ago I know my mum was paying more so I dont get why folk make tne connection with free houses

Do you want to swap with MammaTJ?

If not, write that note down somewhere, to remind you whenever you walk past those houses.

Op in the nicest possible way maybe stop watching benefit programmes or listenting to pollitians spout on about hard working families that will get your house envy under control

Or me, Snoofle. I have half a room in a small flat, when the main occupant stays I sleep on the living room floor. It's alright and not a huge deal, but it's not really comparable to having a 200k house and a 100k mortgage. I've also stayed with friends in London who were partitioning their tiny London towerblock flat by curtains, like they used to in pre-revolutionary Russia - I went up 10 storeys and in the flat I literally had 3 feet either side to get changed in and only at certain times of the day. Six feet to lie down in (I'm short). That was a bit surprising :D

Then at the same time there are millions of property porn programmes about all the fantastic huge houses you can get. If only you were smart and brave and businesslike enough to earn one of those houses! No wonder OP's confused. I am too.

YANBU

SIL lives in a housing association house which would sell for about 600K on the open market. It was brand new when she moved in - she got to choose the carpets and fittings. She has 4 bedrooms but only 2 of them are occupied, one by her and one by her adult dd and partner. All three work f/t so the household income is in the region of 60k minimum.

She moans about how much rent she has to pay. :-0 (about £800 a month but no maintenance costs at all).

I can understand people renting privately being slight envious but no home owners.

Firstly I'd. like to start with an apology. I live in social housing and I'm sincerely sorry I offend people.

secondly I'm sick of feeling the need to apologise and sick of being seen as some sort of bad person because of where I live.

Thirdly I'd like to point out a few things that will hopefully make people a little better.

1. I do actually work so do many of my neighbours

1. We pay 100% of our rent

1. We pay council tax just like normal people do.

1. My house is almost 70 years old (does that make it ok, better, worse?

1. The house was not pristine when we got the keys; there were smears of excrement on the walls, rotten food in the kitchen cupboards, drugs under the kick boards, 13 skip loads of junk and filth in the garden and the front door was (still is) wonky having been patched up after someone had kicked it in.

6.we were very grateful to get it. Our path to social housing began with me returning home from work one January to find a note pinned to the door telling me dd was with the neighbours he'd cleaned out the house and the bank accounts only leaving my individual savings account. That took a hit later with the bills he'd clocked up in my name including £3500 on a phone bill and £12k elsewhere. I was then made redundant leaving me unemployed for 7 months with only CB as income. I lost my physical health (couldn't afford to feed both me and dd), mental health, my home. The next few years were spent in a low paying job, living in various temporary addresses including a small single room with shared facilities. This period also included XH dragging me through court claiming I was an unfit mother with poverty being one of his arguments.

1. I will never own a house.

Apart from paragraph two this is not a complaint but an explanation of how things can be in the hope there can be a little less hatred aimed at myself and other lesser beings like me. A lesser being is exactly how I feel when people start ranting about low paid people and sh tenants.