Following the trend: why did you stick at one DC?

[Writerwannabe83]

Me and DH always planned on having one child.

We've had the usual reactions of being on the receiving end of completely shocked facial expressions, being called selfish for denying the child siblings, being told that our child be spoilt blah, blah, blah.

Don't these people realise we make the decision to have one child for a reason and they should be mindful of that?!

Unable to for medical reasons.

Finances.

The planet.

We have one child,never planned on having a second. I have never had any negative comments. Sometimes people ask if we are having another but when i say no,nothing more is said. I never ask if someone is planning another child (unless they have just asked me the same thing!) because it's not always a choice is it?

Just didn't want another.

Medical reasons, we don't have the money to get treatment.

Our age (currently 38 and 41 - DS is 2)

Space

Finances

The sheer exhaustion DS caused (age again I think, plus super active non-sleeping model)

DHs fear of the difficult labour being repeated (I don't really remember it)

My poor fanjo (DS was 9lb 1 - I hear they get bigger)

Worrying we wouldn't love it as much as PFB DS1

It's not 100% ruled out but I think it's unlikely

2 painful miscarriages after DD. Both ended in surgery. That was it for us. There was a period of sadness for what could have been, but now not too fussed TBH.

Now if only I could tell my body that I am done with childbearing. I am being sent a monthly reminder

Infertility

Couldn't cope with 2 children. It's hard work and I've seen even the strongest of couples look close to splitting up because of the general demands of having more than one.

We could afford fertility treatment and the cost of raising another, but both DP and I are done.

Meant to add, sorry Amrapaali

DS is still "only" 4.6 and I've still got a decade (or so) of fertility ahead of me, so second is not completely ruled out, but the gap will be very big if we go for it. The older DS gets the less I want to go back to the utterly hellish baby/toddler stage. I doubt we are every going to have another.

Reasons:

Personal mental and physical resources
Money
Space
Planet

My sons father ran out on us when I told him I was pregnant and wouldn't have an abortion.

Would have more if I met the right person or could afford sperm donation.

I had an extremely rare condition in my first pregnancy, nearly died. Dd born at 28 weeks, intensive care, 4 years of endless hospital appointments and unexplained illnesses.

I couldn't do it again, physically or emotionally.

Thanks for your kindness, Dippy.

Apparently miscarriage after a live birth is becoming common. The surgeon went, "We are seeing more and more of it now..."

On my ward, there were at least three more women suffering miscarriages and all of them had at least one older child.

If anyone asks though I just tell them I hate children, with a theatrical shudder. Usually shuts them up.

I always knew I would only do the whole being pregnant and giving birth once. DS is 4 and has finally come out of the non sleeping, tantruming stage he was in from around 1 and I have no energy or desire to go through it again.

Plus I'm 42 next week - too many risks for me to do it again especially as I had severe pre-eclampsia having DS at 37.

I could not cope with any of it plus I'm a LP now.

Hasn't stopped people asking though

I envisage DS being an only because I'm not sure whether i could voluntarily give up more sleep.

We like having one.
Money (would have to work full time if I had 2 which I think would be negative for the whole family).
The planet.

47% of families in England are single child families. Clearly it is not uncommon!!

Sanity
Health
Finances
Space
Plus... the one we've got is FAB why would I want another?!?!

Because as much as I love DS, I have realised I am not cut out for the baby stage and can't face ever doing it again. I am yet to see if I will be any more cut out for the toddler stage, but hoping it will be better than the last 9 months...

i dont get why some people are so negative about one child familys

even the term only seems negative

noone ever says oh have you only got three children do they

perhaps htey like a small intimte family size

noone ever says oh have you only got three children do they

No, they say "are they ALL yours?" in an accusing manner

You can't win.

I split from my dd's father but had wonderful support from his family. As I didn't ever have another serious relationship, and if had had a second child anyway, they would have suffered seeing their sister being showered with love and presents and them being excluded.

Very grateful to have DS, didn't seem that it would be possible at one stage. Advised not to have another & tbh DS is just lovely, he really is fantastic, we count our blessings each day.

I am never asked about having a 2nd, I think most people are respectful of choices, having just one isn't that uncommon!

My age, my sanity, my heath, our income, size of our house.

Have a (now ex) friend who wouldn't stop asking me why I wasn't trying for another. In the end I told her bluntly that I didn't want to discuss it any more. Poor thing was trying for a second child and couldn't get her head around any of the reasons I gave her.

Primarily my age though. I was almost 43 when I had my daughter.

I too feel very grateful that I finally had one. I always wanted more, but TBH now, I am quite relieved I don't. I don't miss the baby phase and dd and I have a great relationship. Plus am now divorced and I don;t think I'd have been able to manage financially if I had more than one child.