To wish DH wouldn't do the laundry?

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

I shouldn't moan, but when he does the laundry basically he washes every single dirty thing regardless of how many loads it is, without considering how it's going to get dry. If he uses the tumble dryer he never checks what things can't be tumble dried and then doesn't always check things are actually dry. I've just gone to put a load in the dryer & have come across a damp & musty load that's been in there who knows how long which now needs to be washed again.

Once things are dry he kind of abandons responsibility for it & it's down to me to fold, sort, iron & put it away. (If I don't it just ends up either being worn straight from the laundry basket or gets pulled around by the DSs).

AIBU to wish he'd either do the job from start to finish or not do it at all? I know I seem ungrateful as he's trying to help but honestly it's a pain in the arse!

He's not really 'trying' and it's not really 'helping' so I'm not sure why you should be grateful. He does the bit that takes 5 minutes and you are left with the boring, faffy bit which takes five times as long. Does he normally pull his weight with the housework? Because maybe this should be something that you 'swap' for another equivalent job that he takes sole responsibility for.

I also have a laundry-doing DP and mostly am hugely grateful, but it's been a painful and expensive road to stop him from washing everything together at 60/tumble drying everything come what may/'hanging' stuff over the acorn thingy at the top of the banisters so it dries with a huge bump in it etc etc.

I think IABU. But...

YANBU. My dh is similar puts washing on then forgets about it or transfers the lot to the dryer then forgets. Again.

Yanbu. My dh is great around the house, cooks, cleans, does equal share of dc baths, lets me lie in every weekend. But he is FORBIDDEN to touch the washing machine. I've had too many dry clean only dresses ruined or linens shrunk

DH now has to check every piece of clothing with me before it goes in the dryer. He is also banned from doing another load before the first load and folded and put away. And, I'm a feminist with a DH who knows everything is his responsibility as well. How depressing.

Haha! This made me chuckle as I often think the same thing. My DP puts so much washing in the machine that some of it doesn't even get wet in the middle cos it's that rammed in!! Then end up having to re wash stuff. Either that or he leaves it in the machine ... And again needs re washing!!! I wish he would leave well alone!!!!!

Yanbu

I am very guilty of starting a laundry cycle (wash, dry, fold, put away) but not finishing it. I struggle with the fold and out away part. BUT- i'm a grown up, i may not like it but it has to be done and it has to be done to completion or you get a back log (i used to end up with massive back logs) so i do it.

I would tell DH that he needs to do one cycle completely before anything else goes in the washing machine.

Also, i would be tempted to not complete the cycles he starts and leaves so that he learns the real physical consequence of not doing it. I.e no dry washing to wear!

He needs to get to grips with doing an entire cycle ir he wont ever realise why it needs to happen.

Why do guys overload the washing machine? IME this seems to be an exclusively male thing. In DP's case it's because he thinks it's economical. But it's not if you have to wash it all again.

I've taken control of the laundry now because I was fed up of hanging out half washed clothes that smelled musty.

Same problem here. Dh is banned from laundry. Too many instances of washing in machine left for days so has to be rewashed, wet washing left in dryer, jumpers washed on wrong setting and shrunk, it's cheaper of I do the washing.

Each do your own washing - bet he doesn't 'forget' then.

Why do guys overload the washing machine? IME this seems to be an exclusively male thing

I do this too. (Female) well, i did before i caught myself on and realised the stuff wasnt getting washed properly and it was risking the machine breaking. I put less in now.

Personally i think it came from laziness and thinking i was saving myself doing two loads.

I reckon the cure is to make the shirker responsible for all washing permanently and they will soon learn that they arent doing a good enough job because it will affect them when laundry isnt cleaned properly or if the machine breaks or if their stuff shrinks.

My EXP was forces and when on base would do his own laundry. To a standard higher than what i do! (I dont iron for example) because it was his civvy stuff that he wore on night out with his friends etc and he wanted to look good. However when he was at home i had to ask him to put a load on and he wouldnt sort it, wouldnt check pockets for tissues, would bung it all into the dryer without sorting or shaking out and would then dump it in a pile on our bed.

This infuriated me because i knew he could do laundry to a very good standard when it benefitted him but not for me or the DCs!

I'm not getting why anyone would be 'hugely grateful' to someone for not doing the laundry properly?

Also, why would anyone 'ban' another adult from doing something rather than expecting them to do it properly?

I'd be either taking over all laundry, or (my preferred option) training him to do it properly by deferring all responsibilty to him and not rescuing when it all goes tots up. In my case I'd need to do one load if just my stuff to ensure I didn't run out of clothes as DH has so many miry clothes than I do.

*miry = more

We don't have space for a dryer so sometimes I have to put things on a clothes horse, my husband tries to cram everything on it, doesn't open anything out so it could be there for a week and still be wet

I don't actively ban DH from doing the washing but he knows i have my 'ways' with washing and that i prefer to do it myself. Ironing, on the other hand, can be tackled by anyone as i hate it.

My DP rarely does the washing anymore because he kept bundling it all in regardless of colour. So lovely white things would turn grey. He now only does it for dark stuff because it's safer! Although I admit to sometimes having a sneaky peek before he's put it on to rescue anything. I have a lovely, soft red jumper which has only stayed thay way because I've grabbed it out the machine just in time!

Mine only washes his own mountain biking kit & the cloths he uses in the garage. He always spends ages looking at the labels, choosing the programme, reading the box of powder & accurately measuring it which makes me irrationally annoyed

Haha. DSIL is exactly the same. A speck of dirt and it has to be washed. Ironing piles up then he moans when he does it. He does fold and put things away though, but tends to leave DDs things for her to put away.

I think it's the mechanical aspect of the washing machine that fascinates him .

YANBU. DH has been banned from
Touching laundry in this household for ruining too many cashmere sweaters/white blouses that are now grey...a brand new designer bikini... Not to mention my white silk white company nightie that is now dirt coloured. He also doesn't know how to fold and his version of hanging means inside out crumpled and slung over various pieces of furniture.
I don't care if I spend the majority of the week doing laundry, at least my clothes will be safe.

Get yourself a fellow who has lived alone for a substantial time, ladies, he may be more domesticated than you!

I did! Something happened when we moved in together. Something like...independent bachelor amnesia.

My DH is fabulous around the house, cooking , food shopping, meal planning, cleaning, laundry - even changing the beds..

We both work full time so it's great that we can also share the work load at home.

I have taught DH the ways of the washing machine. If they can figure out a computer, they can figure out a machine that has a max of 6 buttons.

But he's still forbidden because he folds them too lose and they look wrinkly instead of smooth and crisp folds. :) and if helps with laundry I have to help with dishes

I wish dh wouldn't hang things on the line, he's ruined so many of my tops and t shirts because he doesn't make sure they are straight and they end up with stretched wavy hems. He also hangs trousers up by their 'ankles' but all twisted so they dry funny and are hard to iron. If I try to suggest a better way of doing it or fly into a tearful rage because my new top is ruined he just gets the huff and says "you moan if I don't help".