To wish DH wouldn't do the laundry?

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

I shouldn't moan, but when he does the laundry basically he washes every single dirty thing regardless of how many loads it is, without considering how it's going to get dry. If he uses the tumble dryer he never checks what things can't be tumble dried and then doesn't always check things are actually dry. I've just gone to put a load in the dryer & have come across a damp & musty load that's been in there who knows how long which now needs to be washed again.

Once things are dry he kind of abandons responsibility for it & it's down to me to fold, sort, iron & put it away. (If I don't it just ends up either being worn straight from the laundry basket or gets pulled around by the DSs).

AIBU to wish he'd either do the job from start to finish or not do it at all? I know I seem ungrateful as he's trying to help but honestly it's a pain in the arse!

My dh insists on washing everything I own on either a 15 minute hand hot temperature so nothing comes close to being clean, or boils everything all at once preferably opposing colours and fabrics. He is particularly adept at turning my bright white new bra a lovely shade of grey. What is more disturbing is dmil does exactly the same. It gives me the RAGE! I do luff them both though so I do forgive them eventually, fuckers

Yes I hate my dh doing the washing as he mixes colours with whites, put my wired bras and delicate stuff on normal wash.

same with dryer and not checking labels. I told him not to do laundry unless I specify e.g whites.

DH also has a special gift for turning everything grey. He does his own laundry as everything is dull colours anyway. I do the rest of the family, as we have too much at risk of being ruined.

He's an over stuffer too.

I have been moaning about this exact thing all week. Whenever my partner does washing, the drum is stuffed so full that the stuff in the middle is dry and then I have to put through 2 separate loads again. But what is worse is the amount of fabric softener he uses. I use about half of the measuring lid. He fills the washing machine drawer completely to the brim and the clothes that do manage to get wet are then fucking water repellent.

*I should have mentioned, he always tends to put through a load of towels! They should not be water repellent.

I was working away a lot so DP took over the laundry.
I started to notice how the clothes and sheets never seemed to be actually clean.
They always smelt a bit odd.
If I mentioned it he'd get really shirty and defensive so I let it drop.
A few months (that's right, months) later we were in Wilkos and I said
"Oo! Washing powder is on offer, I noticed we've run out!"
DP started to look really shifty.
Turns out he'd been "washing" laundry with only conditioner - thinking it was soap - for FOUR MONTHS!

This isn't even touching on how hell just leave wet laundry in the machine for days or how he leaves tumble dried stuff in a big hot pile for it to cool and get all wrinkled

My dh doesn't couldn't give a toss how filthy the home is, considers heating food in the microwave too much effort and is perfectly happy to soak dishes in the sink, then just wipe them with a tea towel when they're needed. So when he hangs washing on the airer I just wait until he's out of the room and rearrange them so they don't look like he's just emptied the washing basket straight over the top. Baby steps. (Living alone only domesticates a person if they have some kind of standards to start with )

Nunyabiz and NorahBone You are probably right.

I had the "advantage" that my father was blind, so my DSis (seven years older) and I were expected from an early age to help, really help, around the house. DSis took her A-levels a year early, when I was ten, and after that was not at home much, so it was DM and I. About that time I remember DM buying a small ironing board, one that I could reach, so that we shared that, and we chatted while doing it, which is a happy memory for me.

I cannot even remember when I did not take my share of the washing-hanging-up-folding-putting away routine.

And then I lived alone for number of years.

DW married straight from the nest and I may have been more domesticated than she was at the time.

She never went back to full-time work after DS was born, and not much to part-time, so obviously since then she has done more of it than I have - she has been here and I have not - but I am capable of running this household alone as I have done when unfortunately DW has had spells in hospital.

Bring your DS up right, and your DD too, and it can be done.

Dh washes what is needed. So if a white towel is needed to be washed he doesn't think "hmm ill check to see if anything else is white to and bulk up" he washes said towel, only.

The times I've waited for 2hrs to finish a load that could have been done at once I cannot count.

GRRR

My husband has used the washing machine three times in the last 2.5 years. In two if those he washed a tissue and in one a dress that was dry-clean only. He doesn't know what to do with the tumble dryer and doesn't try to straighten anything out when hanging it so it all dries creased up and/or takes ages and starts to smell funny.

One of the many domestic chores I get the rage about. He's all for hiring an au pair just to stop me complaining.

Sorry, no help but bags of sympathy. YADNBU.

I don't get it when men don't. You women who "allow" this should be ashamed of yourselves

Eduard What exactly do we need to be ashamed about. I prefer to be the one who does the washing. I am sure my DH could put on a washing, and he will do if i give him a basket and ask him to pop it on at 30 or whatever.

It works the same in reverse. We have a temperamental petrol lawn mower. My DH has a deft touch with it an would rather mow the grass himself but i am sure i could do it if needs be.

"I don't get it when men don't. You women who "allow" this should be ashamed of yourselves"

It's the men that should be ashamed of themselves, but then it's a typical response to make the woman responsible, for "their mans" behaviour.

My ex moved in with his Mum after his marriage ended, his Mum soon taught him how to do laundry, by shrinking every item he left for her to do.

It's not funny if you live with a Man child, my DD is thinking if ending her relationship over this, she's pregnant and her P's answer is to get a cleaner in, which they can't afford and don't need, he just needs to grow up.

Am I your husband ?!?! You've just described both me and my husband, I don't know how we ever have dry, clean, ironed clothes !

DH hangs dry clothes up on the airer as if he's stood at the other side of the room, facing away from it, and flung them backwards over his head in it's general direction.

My ex at uni was so clueless that when we first went to the launderette, he loosely folded his clothes and then put them into the washer so that they would be less creased when they came out. He made a big deal of it as he did it, as if he was expecting me to be impressed by his laundry skills.

Me and DH wash and dry our own clothes, and just ask each other if we have a few whites at a 40 etc if our load isn't full. We've never once rowed about it. Whose turn it is to load the dishwasher is different story