To be furious at swimming pool regulars who think they own the bloody pool. To the point of kicking a disabled child?

[Sneezecakesmum]

Dont know who I am angrier with. Myself or the middle aged woman swimming in the local pool apparently doing her daily 50 lengths of breast stroke, when we (the interlopers) dared to be in her way and which gave her the right to kick a 5 year old disabled boy in the chest!

FFS she came up behind us so definitely saw us. I was holding a child festooned in buoyancy aids, (so both arms needed) and facing away from her so I didnt see her. The first thing I knew she kicked/or hit me lightly then with the next stroke kicked out strongly and I felt the childs body rock against me. Luckily he is a tough nut and just looked a bit shocked.

AIBU to want to rip her fucking head off? No apology, no acknowledgement despite being fully aware she hit us!

I just stood there like a wimp feeling it was my fault for being in 'her' pool

You know that thing where you do/say nothing at the time, but rage and vent afterwards? Well I am venting!

Actually, she'd not ranting anymore

I accidentally kicked another swimmer last time I went, just misjudged the distance between us. I immediately stopped to apologise and check I hadn't hurt them. Surely that is the only reasonable response to that situation, even when it's a complete accident?

If I see people in the way without my glasses on I slow down til they've passed, or swim around them. Yes it can be annoying, but if people are being deliberately obstructive you speak to the lifeguard.

So if you trod on someones foot you would not be aware of it? And kicking underwater is different somehow? Do the nerve endings in the foot degenerate immediately someone steps into a chlorine pool? Unknown effects of chlorine maybe?

Next time softly I will confront them head on and point out they should act with more care. Actually I may report it to the pool attendant, it makes more sense that they are aware and have a word with the person involved. May make them think twice next time.

Ok. So you'd say sorry if the jogger trod on your dog and didn't say sorry?

If my dog had got in his way, yes. It would have been my fault for not controlling him given he is always on a lead. Does one person having bad manners excuse them in yourself? I don't think so.

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what your point is. I was simply saying that it's easier for a jogger to apologise without any problem than it is for a swimmer, whose head may well be underwater for 90% of the time. As a side point, I said I would apologise for getting in the way.

I'm off now.

I'm off to throw my dog under the feet of joggers to see if they apologise.

Man! omg. Someone did that to a child that is dreadful, someone can die (dry drowning) with vasal vagal inhibition in those circumstances. Its terribly dangerous. I would have reported that certainly.

This lady swimmer was definitely not disabled. She was a very strong capable swimmer All the more reason to avoid us.

And to be clear the pool only had about 20 people in it so there was plenty of room for her to swim lengths. She chose to swim down the centre left in straight lines where I and other parents/children were. She could have swum along the edge of the pool.

sneeze the only reason I wouldn't confront the arseholes in my pool is because some of them are incredibly rude.

The amount of arguments I've had in the water is unreal. The thing is they feel this is their space so get the fuck out of it so will most certainly argue back! I'm quiet fiery when it come to my kids so punching an OAP in the face is probably not on

When you go back, if that person is there - pre warn the pool attendant. If it happens again call for the duty manager straight away.

Don't even engage with the twats.

Woman doing weird all-over-the-place butterfly kicking up a tidal wave, people doing all the wrong speeds in all the wrong lanes

We have Mr Splashy - sort of dying donkey with a dislocated shoulder over water arm swing. How the hell he travels I don't know??

Sneeze - like you I doubted that it had really happened when she passed by the first time. I was absolutely gobsmacked when I saw her reach out and grab his arm and pull him under at the second pass.

Many thanks for the input. I will speak directly to the attendant next time

Op leave it

Have you heard of recall bias
In your mind the woman will have got fitter and stronger and more aware. The kick would have got harder and more deliberate.
You dont know how aware she was of you or the kick and all that is happening is you are getting more upset

Man. Maybe its the women who are worse? That is shocking to pull a child under the water.

There are some nasty people out there who seem to see children as nothing more than noisy, inconvenient nuisances, instead of the innocent, joyful (most of the time) people they are, just having fun.

sneezes it's not just the girl folk ! Our man culprit is a 60+ fella in speedos

Rants like an outraged imp on pool side, jabbing and pointing !

Y so NBU. Any reasonable person would stop and apologise. The fact she didn't implies she did it on purpose or at least didn't care she did it.

I suspect she regularly swims at that session and there normally aren't any children in there, as it was an inset day she got the arse at her 'lane swimming' being interrupted. Well, that's life. If she was that bothered she should go to a formal lanes session.

bruffin. I am not upset any longer. I now realise there was a real course of action I could have taken (it was the helplessness I felt at the time that was awful) and that this womans behaviour was not that unusual (sadly).

There is no recall bias I assure you. She was extremely fit and strong and the kick was very forceful. A poster earlier said breast stroke is a forceful stroke, and this was the case. It rocked both of us back, DGS taking the brunt on his chest. Short of peripheral neuropathy she couldnt not have been aware of the contact. I am pretty sure the kick was not deliberate, but was just done with an 'I dont care if you get kicked, you shouldnt be in my way' attitude.

It was only yesterday and is still clear.

Softly....please dont send him to our pool

Of course there is recall bias
The fish gets bigger with every telling.
She has probably gone home completely unaware that ahe even touched you.

Was it you bruffin.

I was going to leave the thread but Ive just spoken to DD on the phone and apparently this woman also kicked DD when she got to the pool side and turned around to go back. Not hard but enough to be felt. DD had 14 month old DGS in her arms. Again no acknowlegement although she did look at DD and gave her a nasty look (presumably another 'get out of my way' attitude)

DD independently confirmed she was a 'big' woman. So no recall bias there as she had not though of it until I mentioned it. She was annoyed at the time, but like me didnt want to made a fuss.

I had not even discussed this with DD until just now, but it confirms my opinion this was a nasty, entitled, selfish woman.

I never said there was no such thing as recall bias bruffin. just that its not the case here.

And I am sure if DGSs daddy had been holding him she wouldnt have done it. She was just a bully.

I can see both sides here.
I am a lane swimmer, and I think the woman should have apologised.
I also take my (learning ) disabled daughter swimming during the school holidays, and I am always very careful to ensure that she doesn't get in the way of other swimmers. It's a 2 way thing really.

What is the point of this thread?

No Thankfully nowhere near swimming pool today,i only go on wednesdays , which is usually very uneventful.
I just think there are always two sides to every story and it would be interesting to hear the other womans tale .