To be unhappy with what DD is eating

[CheeryBakewell]

Just over a month ago I started working late (6pm) 3x a week. My DD(11)now spends these afternoons being looked after by her best friend's mum. I found out yesterday that they go to McDonalds almost every time, as well as having other junk food snacks.

DD's best friend and her sister are swimmers. Both parents made it to the commonwealth games but didn't reach the Olympics, so lives being lived through kids and what not. They swim every morning from 6.15-8am and afternoons from 4-6. Understandably, they need their food! DD is very happy to watch the swimming training and will usually get on with some homework or something but they always go to McDonalds straight after. I understand that perhaps the mum feels she can't leave DD out if she is getting food for her two, but DD told me that she once said how she knew dinner would be waiting for her at home to which the mum replied "oh well some chips won't hurt!" I did casually bring it up with her, and said how I don't really want her having two dinners (I didn't actually mention McDonald's incase she thought I was judging her or whatever) so just said she has dinner waiting for her at home. To which she replied "ok fair enough. But DD plays hockey 4x a week so I'm sure it won't hurt her."

This annoyed me because she's assuming I don't want her eating McDonald's because of weight gain... As we all know weight gain is merely a by product or a bad diet! I don't want her eating McDonald's 3x a week because it's horrible for her, in all ways. I understand that with the amount of exercise her DDs do they need to eat a lot but IMO I don't see why it can't be a lot of healthy stuff. DD eats well but you present an 11 year old with the option of chicken nugget and chips knowing they'd "only" be getting some fish pie later, you know which they'll chose.

And to make it worse they're always given chocolate and sweets when picked up from school. And not little things either! I'm talking slickers bars, kit kat chunkies, Mars bars. I give DD after school snacks but again, apple or mars bar?

I know I probably sound very judgemental over what she feeds her kids. And I also understand that it may be tricky giving your children all these yummy things and saying to my DD "sorry your mum said no." Of course she shouldn't have to change what she is feeding her children just so mine doesn't feel left out but I don't know how to approach this. Should I just sit down with DD and discuss it? What do I say? And I know some of you may say I should look into another after school option but she really does seem to enjoy watching them swim. Plus she gets a fair amount of homework done as she's not distracted by other friends being around etc.

Any insight here would be really helpful :) thanks everyone!

I think the OP has only just found out about the meals

But now she knows and is going to suggest a lighter option, I'm sure she'll give her DD the money to pay for it.

You asked your friend to do you a favour and have your DD after school. Friend agreed and welcomed your DD into their family circle. You don't like the fact that they are buying her a McD's three times a week - because their own children need the calories as they regularly exercise and need the extra food. What would you like to happen?

If you don't want your DD to fit in with the family choice of your friend you need to change your arrangements for child care. It really is that simple ...

Could you send her with sandwiches and a banana and then she can choose chips or a drink from McD to go with it? A compromise then at least.

I'm very surprised that 2 former athletes would consider 3 McD a week for their children ok. There's many much more healthy ways of getting lots of calories into sporty children.

Yanbu. Dd is a serious dancer (1-3 hours, 6 days per week) & I wouldn't want her to be having Macdonslds 3 days per week (she actually doesn't like them but I've had to clamp down on the sweets & Costa hot chocolate. It's empty calories.

If they are such serious swimmers they need to eat in a similar way to dd, lean protein at every meal, complex carbohydrates & lots of fruit & veg.

It's laziness really. I know I have done it myself when dd has been rehearsing for shows in a town 40 miles away the drive through has been an easy option (once a week). But it's not healthy on a regular basis.

MacDonalds is not helping with their swimming, they need lean protein, carbs and fruit/vegetables, though I suspect you know that. If you want to be tactful about it can you 'go veggie' and so not want DD eating MacDonalds?!

No I didn't see that interview corus and I'm sure Michael Phelps knows a little bit more about swimming nutrition than me... but I grew up with a serious sporty sibling and they certainly were not living on McD. Don't think either of us ever had it tbh not that you'd know that now, I love the stuff!

Empty calories is exactly it! My sibling's staple before a race was pasta, tuna, mayo and sweetcorn.

It's besides the point anyway op... just an observation!

just to add to the empty or not calorie debate. i agree with those saying the swimming kids need healthy food. But having done some stuff in the past where i was burning 8000-10,000 calories a day, it's worth pointing out that it's actually almost impossible to eat that many calories healthily because the volume of healthy food is too much. So to get the calories in you do resort to Snickers and that kind of stuff... horrible, and extremely hard to return to normal eating once you stop the exercise, but at the time, it's necessary. Thus i can see precisely why two former swimmers at Cweath games level might be letting their kids eat McDs and then go home and have proper dinner. My DH was an international level lightweight rower and used to have McDs for second breakfast and post-dinner supper... and was always on the bottom end of the lightweight weight range...

I think McDonald is a horrendous diet for any child regardless of how many times a week they swim. I'm not talking calories, I'm talking health - so salt content, crappie white processed wheat, bad fats rather then good fats etc

I think you can get the calories needed healthily and anyway fitness freaks need protein for their muscles, not tons of bad fats/sugar/overload of salt.

Think nuts, cheese, full fat Greek yogurt, humus, dried fruit, bananas, boiled eggs etc, avocados etc for snacks

I would start paying for a healthier mcdonalds meal and text the exact meal you want the lady to buy DD. DD needs to remind the mother though. Explain to your DD that you will need to make other arrangements if things continue as they are so she really must speak up before the lady makes the McDonald's order

Or pack DD a few snacks and ask the lady not to buy and Your DD not to eat it.

Why don't you send her a packed lunch for after school??