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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is attention seeking behaviour and to wonder why people are taken in by it?

64 replies

StegasaurusRocks · 23/05/2014 21:47

An acquaintance of mine seems to have problem after problem in her personal life. She posts at least 4 different facebook statuses every day, and each time she does she will get heaps of concerned replies, and will not reply to anyone. She will then do another attention seeking status an hour later about something else.

AIBU to think it is attention seeking? Am I also being unreasonable to wonder why on earth some people bother commenting on everything of hers when she never acknowledges their replies or advice? Do people like being dragged into other peoples' dramas?

OP posts:
GarlicMayonnaise · 23/05/2014 22:27

I think the appropriate response to attention-seeking is to give attention. Why ever not? I mean, if you haven't got a nano-second to press 'Like' or post a sadface, don't bother and just go about your day. As you're already reading her, though, you may as well give her a virtual nod.

Everybody needs attention, don't they? Look, I just spent a few minutes posting on your thread! Feels good, doesn't it Grin

GarlicMayonnaise · 23/05/2014 22:29

You can unfollow her, Steg, then you'll only see her most-commented posts.

revealall · 23/05/2014 22:35

And everybody has a facebook friend who they think is basically stupid but has to keep because it's basically a "working relationship".
It's like European politics but on a smaller cyber scale. My sister in law is Russia and I am Ukraine. Everyone knows she's wrong but we all keep posting in the hope she'll work out what she posts is offensive.

HelloLA · 23/05/2014 22:40

I have a friend who does this all the time. It used to give me shouty rages, but now I just admire the fine artistry of the updates. They always manage to suggest great woes and crises, but in a very vague, stoic, who-me-complain way.

Well, it's over then. Never mind.

Thanks for the rescue last night, Bob. Sorry about the car.

Ouch. That really hurt. Maybe I should see a doctor.

emms1981 · 23/05/2014 22:45

I don't use facebook anymore but it used to annoy me when people would post things like I have just had a real shock and don't know what to do, then someone whould ask what was wrong and it would be either no reply or I will pm you ffs either tell everyone or shut up

Original poster
StegasaurusRocks · 23/05/2014 22:47

The woman on my friends list recently wanted to take her DC out of school for an afternoon. The school would not authorise the time off, and her status read 'I will NOT be bullied'. There were then hundreds of replies saying things like ' who would bully you hun, you're amazing' and it turned out right at the end of the replies that it was just about taking her kids out of school.

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 23/05/2014 22:49

I don't get constantly deactivating, cue loads of concerned posts discussing the ins and out of why deactivation has taken place. Then a glorious return followed of legions of "relieved" posts. Same again next week Hmm

Original poster
StegasaurusRocks · 23/05/2014 22:52

Oh yes, the deactivation thing does my head in too Shakey. My FB friend does this regularly; once a month at least she will deactivate for 48 hours or so, then reappear and relish the attention

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mimishimmi · 23/05/2014 22:53

I check Facebook about twice a month because of similar ..

Hassled · 23/05/2014 22:53

:o at the Russia/Ukraine analogy

Wheelerdeeler · 23/05/2014 22:55

You need to post this

To think that this is attention seeking behaviour and to wonder why people are taken in by it?
Caitlin17 · 23/05/2014 22:57

Why do you bother looking at these people's Facebook pages? (Or whatever you call it) It is possible to live without having a Facebook account.

mindthegap79 · 24/05/2014 00:33

My sort of friend is a classic vaguebooker - there's always a non-descript drama - but what I enjoy is the way she intersperses the drama with the dullest updates imaginable. Highlights include:

Well, that's dinner cooked then, lol.

Washing on, now to watch a bit of telly lol.

Off to work.

I just LOVE THE DRAMA! makes a nice change...LOL!

CaisleanDraiochta · 24/05/2014 01:11

Yes to the dull status updates, multiple times a day. Things like:

'dishes done, time for a quick cuppa before i do the hoovering'

'only 2 hours until time to cook dinner then Hollyoaks. Whoop!'

Not forgetting my all time favourite, posted almost every single day:

'off to bed now. nite nite all xx'

Boredom, maybe? Or possibly the FB equivalent of that person who witters on about nothing because they can't stand silence?

PrincessBabyCat · 24/05/2014 02:16

I hate people that complain about their partner and then get upset when you don't like them. If you want people to like your partner, then present them in a good light. Otherwise don't be surprised when people who've never met them are "haters".

I also hate vague booking. They post a status. I ask what's wrong. "PM me. It's private" Arrgbarrhg. I could pull my hair out at that. No. I won't PM you. I won't.

differentnameforthis · 24/05/2014 04:30

Annoying as it is, it is her facebook, so she can post what she likes. If YOU don't like it, you should delete her or hide her stuff.

You wouldn't go into her house & tell her what to put on her walls, or what to talk about.

diddl · 24/05/2014 09:29

It shows people in a whole new light, doesn't it?

I've never posted a status.

I occasionally comment on others, but usually use it to pm.

I live abroad & was planning to visit an old found friend until I noticed that they spk like r u OK hun? on FB! and decided we probably wouldn't get onBlush

MarshaBrady · 24/05/2014 09:33

Ah yes the social media cliff hanger.

You know what the answer is. Get off Facebook. Or at least hide the posts.

Sicaq · 24/05/2014 09:40

I think the very public nature of social media is a little different to putting stuff on your walls in hour house Wink

I have one of these on Twitter. "So, that's that then ...". "Five months. Jesus." "Well. At least I know where I stand now."

Weirdly she is pleasant and normal in real life, which is why I still follow her, but she can't resist creating Twitterdramatics (which I guiltily ignore; can't be arsed with cryptic stuff).

MarshaBrady · 24/05/2014 09:42

Those tweets me laugh Sicaq. So cryptic.

MarshaBrady · 24/05/2014 09:43

Make me laugh.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 24/05/2014 09:47

It appears that you ALL know my SIL Grin. So nice to not repeat all her spelling mistakes too.

Kveta · 24/05/2014 09:48

I 'know' someone like this - she has a new DRAMA every few days, and never resolves the previous drama. Massive attention seeking. Details change every time she posts, too. And she tends to post when someone else is getting more attention than her for some genuine issue. I made the mistake of not fawning over her, and questioned her once or twice too. She has now blocked me :o I am gutted, as you can probably tell :o

usualsuspectt · 24/05/2014 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
StegasaurusRocks · 24/05/2014 10:00

She did another status first thing this morning about her latest drama and got about 50 replies, none of which she acknowledged or replied to.

She has now posted another status "Off to the park with the kids".

I think it's really rude that she can't just post a "thanks" when so many people have offered her advice and support on her issue

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