To expect to be told if I am or am not babysitting

[NotoriouslyReliable]

A friend asked me to babysit for her 2 DC all day tomorrow (7-6) not a problem said that was absolutely fine.

She has called me once cancelling, and then rang again asking if in fact I could still babysit. I said yes it was still OK. I then receive a text saying "I might not need you for Saturday will let you know". That was on Monday.

I tried ringing her this morning and have sent a text message asking what is happening but no response.

I am happy to babysit for her if she needs me but I'm getting less happy about hanging around waiting to find out. If I've got her DC then that's great no plans need to be made to entertain DD as they will play happily together. However if we don't have her DC myself and DD have been asked to do something tomorrow which I would definitely do but need to let them know by 18.00 so I doubt that will be happening since my friend doesn't think actually telling me what's happening if necessary

WIBU to send her a message saying "can you let me know if I'm watching DC or not because if not I would like to make plans"?

Just make plans. Or at least tell her you have even if you don't.

Bugger being treated like that when you are doing her a favour.

Yes by all means text with a deadline

"Please let me know what your plans are for the children by 7pm. If I've not heard from you by then I'll make plans for tomorrow that don't include watching your lot"

YANBU at all.
Send the message, I would

I'd call her and if there is no answer then make plans.

I don't want to just make plans because (ironically) I would feel bad letting her down I just think it's the height of bad manners not to let someone know one way or another.

Of course you are not being unreasonable. You should phone her right now.

I have rang her and left a voicemail and send a text message today.

I'm thinking about either giving it till about 19.00 and ringing again or sending the text written at the bottom of the OP

Go and make the plans for your dd. She's had all week to tell you and is not responding now.

I'd text saying "As I haven't heard from you, I've assumed you don't need me, and I've made plans. Have a good weekend and don't bother asking me to babysit in future ."

Txt again and say ' As no confirmation about babysitting have made other arrangements'.So glad that I don't have 'friends' like this.

I've sent a text saying "Not sure if you got my voicemail or message but are you still needs the DC looked after tomorrow because if not I'll make other plans"

I'll wait and see if I get a reply but I honestly think if I haven't heard by 20.00 I'll just make other plans and say that I assumed since I hadn't heard that she didn't need them looked after.

She is a good friend (or long standing friend I should maybe say) but has been increasingly flaky like this recently and I think this is the final straw. I spoke to my boyfriend about it earlier and he has basically said that I need to stop making allowances for her bad behaviour because I wouldn't with anyone else (and quickly included "but obviously it's your call" )

needing* not needs

Id not wait til 8pm. If you havent heard back by six id send another message saying 'sorry, as you didnt confirm I have since made other plans'.

You are doing her a favour. If she can't respond to that with politeness and gratitude, then I wouldn't feel obliged to hang around waiting to be called upon for babysitting duty!

I'm just wondering if she's left her phone at home or something that's why I'm willing to wait, although I also know she finishes work and 16.30 on a Friday so should have picked up my messages. She also has access to FB from work so really could have contacted me through that if she had left her phone.

The truth is I enjoy watching all the DC as they get on great together, I just don't like having my weekends dictated by a will I, won't I see-saw IYSWIM.

I've just been on FB and noticed that she is online on her mobile so she has definitely received my messages and no reply.

Confirmed other plans for tomorrow and if she still needs a babysitter tough.

I'd be tempted to tell her I'm busy every time she asks after this! How rude!

could you not go ahead with your plans and if she still needs you take the child along with you anyway? still, YANBU it would annoy me

The way to guarantee she'll reply is to make other plans.

Sometimes that Facebook online thing isn't that reliable. Still tho, you'd be within your rights to make other plans.

I don't think your text was concrete enough. Ie, you had to let someone know by a set time and she's unaware of this so isn't thinking, shit I better text back quick. Which she should be thinking anyway, so again, YANBU to make other plans

No couldn't go ahead with other plans with all of them. I wouldn't have minded not going at all though, providing I knew I had friends DC. I just wouldn't dream of not letting someone who was doing me a favour not know what was going on.

It's almost 8pm and the meant to be babysitting start time is 11 hours away and would have been for 11 hours. I went out today to buy some food and snacks for all the dc this morning (hence why I tried to call her this morning to confirm). I'm pretty annoyed.

This isn't the first time she has changed/bailed/forgotten plans recently and it's getting a little irritating but I don't really feel I can speak to her about it because she is going through a break up and I think she's just a bit consumed with what's going on there. Doesn't excuse bad manners mind you.

She has had all week to let you know.Make your other plans.

I'm glad you've confirmed your other plans for tomorrow. Has your friend bothered to reply to you yet?

In hoping she didn't just turn up at 7?