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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my DS shouldn't have to write teacher an apology

35 replies

Stopandtop · 23/05/2014 10:43

Yesterday DS aged 7 had been instructed by his teacher to write an apology letter to his TA because she tripped over his chair. When I asked the teacher what happened she said he was sitting on the chair working and his chair was slightly out but he wasn't rocking or being silly on it. His TA walked past and tripped on it.

I can't help but think my son did nothing wrong and she should have looked where she was going.

AIBU to think he shouldn't have to accept responsibility for his TA's carelessness!

OP posts:

Shakirasma · 23/05/2014 10:46

How strange! YANBU.

Is that really all there is to it?

CeliaFate · 23/05/2014 10:46

Yanbu, a written apology sounds excessive. It doesn't sound as if he was at fault. If he was balancing on two legs it would be different - I've had countless bruises on my foot from a chair coming down on it as I've walked past and it bloody hurts!

ILoveWooly · 23/05/2014 10:49

YANBU. TBH I would be inclined to voice my objection.

fifi669 · 23/05/2014 11:15

It's not really a big deal is it? Teachers and parents should be in the same side so I'd save any agro for a serious difference in opinion.

WaywardOn3 · 23/05/2014 11:20

'Im sorry you weren't looking where you were going and tripped over my chair'

Job done or don't bother at all as your son did nothing wrong :-)

Wolfiefan · 23/05/2014 11:20

Had he been asked to tuck his chair in already? If so then he's apologising for not following instructions. Is it a class rule to have chairs tucked in? (Odd one if it is!) If so he's in trouble for not following rules. If none of the above apply then an apology is daft!

MammaTJ · 23/05/2014 11:22

WaywardOn3 has it spot on!

justmatureenough2bdad · 23/05/2014 11:26

Dear TA

Please accept my sincerest apologies for sitting in the chair that you tripped over.

I now realise that by sitting in the chair, I caused the chair legs to stick out and it is unreasonable of me to assume that an adult familiar with a classroom environment would look where they are going when assisting the teacher.

Henceforth I will ensure that when trying to learn, I will allocate my attention such that I am always aware of where the legs of my chair are in relation to everyone else in the classroom, such that there can be no recurrence of this tragic and potentially fatal incident.

Yours in abject penitence

Child

OnlyOnSundays · 23/05/2014 11:27

Why not ask the teacher for the full story so he can tailor his apology letter. You may find there is more to it than your son has told you.

CanaryYellow · 23/05/2014 11:29

Read the OP, she's already asked the teacher what happened.

I'd go with Wayward's suggestion.

Montegomongoose · 23/05/2014 11:29

I'd make sure you also get an adult perspective on the incident before you start encouraging your son to refuse to apologise.

WaywardOn3 · 23/05/2014 11:30

only the op has already asked the teacher. It's in the op :-)

FunnyFoot · 23/05/2014 11:31

Tell the teacher to jog on and maybe advise the TA to go to Specsavers

Finola1step · 23/05/2014 11:31

Depends really. If your ds had been repeatedly told to pull his chair in and then the TA tripped over it and actually hurt herself then yes, a written apology would be in order.

If your ds pushed his chair out on purpose just as the TA was walking past to try and trip her up (to get a laugh out of his mates) then yes, a written apology is required.

If your ds was concentrating on his work and the chair was slightly pushed out then no, there should be no need as it was an accident. A simple "oh I'm sorry" at the time would suffice. If this was not forthcoming at the time for whatever reason then a quick note would be nice. . Basic manners should tell you that if your actions cause another to have an accident then a quick apology is in order.

So OP, more details are required.

Finola1step · 23/05/2014 11:34

Just read your OP. Apologies as I had previously just skimmed it. It was obviously a simple accident.

It does all sound rather OTT. Did he verbally apologise at the time?

Petrasmumma · 23/05/2014 11:37

WaywardOn3 has my vote too. What a silly thing to haul a kid up over.
I'd simply say no and a "srsly? don't pick on my child again."

Nomama · 23/05/2014 11:38

As Finola says.

With the info you have, it sounds unreasonable. But if your son had pushed his chair way out of line with desk, other chairs he would have been a bit if an obstacle.

Then again, if that is how he sits and works best..... but mainly we do have to keep passageways clear, fire drills, trip hazards and all that. Your son, like everyone else, has to take his share of responsibility for the safety of the class, specifically the area surrounding, and including, his chair.

With older students I just raise my voice and ask "Who is trying to kill me?" when I get blocked by bags, bike helmets, boots, feet, chairs etc.

Petrasmumma · 23/05/2014 11:38

lol.

Petrasmumma · 23/05/2014 11:39

I meant lol at justmatureenough...

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 23/05/2014 11:42

Is the TA 12?

People trip. Especially if they're not looking where they were going.

Is a classroom full of chairs unusual to her, then?

Include the address/number for Specsavers in the note.

sunshinecity17 · 23/05/2014 11:44

OP-who ordered him to write this a[pology?

OnlyOnSundays · 23/05/2014 11:50

What I mean is why the "chair slightly out" was an issue? Had he been asked time and again to been his chair in? If he was following instructions and it was a true accident that he had no part in then you can discuss the reasoning behind why the letter is needed.

Finola1step · 23/05/2014 12:18

Have been thinking about this one. I've been a primary school teacher for nearly 20 years. Tripping over the legs of chairs every now and then is fairly standard especial in a KS1 classroom. Bumping into tables is an occupational hazard too. I have had many, many bruises just above the knee on the outside of both legs just at table height.

The reaction of the teacher is a bit odd if it was just an accident.

WorraLiberty · 23/05/2014 12:21

I can't help but think my son did nothing wrong and she should have looked where she was going.

And you said that ^^ to the teacher, yes?

3catsnokids · 23/05/2014 12:22

When I was 8 I tripped my teacher up by sitting with my chair sticking out. I was absolutely mortified. She had previously told all of us to sit with our chairs tucked in and I felt terrible that I hadn't done it and she'd tripped right over.

I have worked as a teacher and in pretty much every claas I have asked children to remember to sit with their chairs tucked in. I have also seen other teachers reminding their classes of this. It is a standard request so I would have thought it quite likely that your son's class had previously been told to keep chairs tucked in.

Even if not, surely he is sorry that it happened even if he didn't know that his chair sticking out would cause it?

I would help him write a letter that said something like, 'I'm sorry you hurt yourself when you tripped over my chair. I hadn't realised my chair was sticking out or that this was dangerous, but from now on I promise to try and make sure it is tucked further in.'

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