To think my DS shouldn't have to write teacher an apology

[Stopandtop]

Yesterday DS aged 7 had been instructed by his teacher to write an apology letter to his TA because she tripped over his chair. When I asked the teacher what happened she said he was sitting on the chair working and his chair was slightly out but he wasn't rocking or being silly on it. His TA walked past and tripped on it.

I can't help but think my son did nothing wrong and she should have looked where she was going.

AIBU to think he shouldn't have to accept responsibility for his TA's carelessness!

Don't allow your son to write anything that could be used against him in civil court by a litigious, compo grabbing TA with a trip induced 'back injury'.

Well just to give the other perspective - pupils are told time and time again to sit considerately with chairs tucked in. For some reason, this doesn't resonate with some dopey kids and you get the same ones who will not comply. Bear in mind that often classrooms are small and there can be a few adults working in the room / going round the tables.

Accidents can thus happen. Going around a table to help pupils can be a hazard course. It gets to be a strain asking repeatedly for pupils to pull their chairs in. It really does.

Sounds like the teacher snapped and decided to make an example of your son.

I do not blame the teacher. It is a bloody pain in the arse. Your child needs to be more self-aware / aware of the environment and 7 is not too young to learn this.

Instead of querying it, just write the damn thing and hope to god it finally makes your son more careful and considerate.

Perhaps he moved his chair slightly as she passed behind it? It does sound like a bit of an overreaction which suggests there is more to it than meets the eye. And look on the letter as a writing exercise

Thanks for your replies everyone. Just to clarify, I did speak to his teacher to find out what had happened as my DS was adamant that he didn't rock the chair or pull out suddenly and the teacher confirmed this.

She also said he immediately apologised verbally to her and I'm pretty sure it's because she blamed him straight away. Apparently she fell to her knees and was probably hurt and embarrassed and looking for someone to blame.

Apparently where my son sits is close to a wall and it's a narrow space to walk past and the children are told to keep chairs tucked in. I can see the valid point here but the reason my son sits near his TA is because he has ADHD and finds it difficult to sit still (and probably sit perfectly straight for the whole school day). I asked his teacher why the TA doesn't just take the less narrow route around the classroom which is not past DS's chair, as she has clearly already identified the narrow walkway as a hazard.

I can understand her being cross about his chair being out but she also has to accept her responsibility in looking where she is going and I'm annoyed he is being asked to take 100% responsibility. He isn't a malicious child at all (no he's not my PFB) he just lives in his own little world and his head can often be in the clouds. It is impossible for him to be more aware of his surroundings because of the ADHD (trust me, I have been working on this for 7 years!)

I know writing the letter is good practice but he also has dyslexia and getting him to write more than a few lines takes me hours of coaxing (and I am tired from work and have tea to cook, washing to do etc and 2 other DC).

I'd write it for him, or do it on the computer. Pointless exercise and the TA sounds unpleasant to make him do this.

Just don't do it and leave it at that.

Reassure you son that you do believe him and he's not to blame.

It's impossible to take sides without being there and seeing how he was sitting (he could have been really far from his desk and they want to illustrate the importance of him needing to be aware of those walking around him) but if he was behaving himself like she says, then I don't understand the point of writing a letter of apology. For what? It seems excessive.

A note saying 'Dear TA, I am sorry you hurt yourself on the chair I was sitting on because it was sticking out' will suffice if you want to silence the teacher's moaning without him accepting blame.

PS, I am a teacher.

I would get him to write a very short letter.

Dear TA,

Sorry you fell over my chair.

From,

Child.

I would explain people usually apologise, when someone else is hurt,even if it was an accident...like bumping into one another.

Utterly ridiculous. Falling to her knees? Good grief.

I'm failing to see what she's trying to achieve. Your child apologised, it wasn't a malicious act, why are they making such a big deal?

Tbh even if there was a degree of premeditation it should still be dealt straightaway: it makes far much more of an impact. Delayed 'contrition' is pointless - the child either forgets the 'crime' or gets incredibly, disproportionately upset because they don't yet have the emotional skills to rationalise it.

It was confirmed by the teacher that he wasn't messing about.

It is clearly not practical for someone to walk through the gap that the ta did.Whether its something that can be changed, by reorganisation,or not,isn't your ds's problem.

I think some children are really affected by a sense of injustice if they have to comply with a sanction that isn't a result of their deliberate act of misbehaving.

I feel sorry for the ta, but it isn't your sons fault based on what you have said-probably just a few factors that 'conspired'.