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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Me or him-tell it to me straight-I can take it!

62 replies

teacher54321 · 21/05/2014 19:40

DH is on nights this week. Leaves around 8.30pm. Our current house is the noisiest in the entire universe-stupid squeaky floorboards etc and boiler old and crap so makes lots of noise when you run a bath. I have asked him nicely if he could have a bath before 2 year old DS goes to bed so that he doesn't run the risk of waking him up. He thinks this is unreasonable and if he wakes up, it's not the end of the world. I say that it isn't for him as he's going to work and won't have to resettle a teething toddler.

Who is right?!

For full disclosure-we are moving to a new house in a couple of months which has a bath on a different floor to DS. When we live there he can have a bath whenever the whim takes him!

OP posts:
PrincessBabyCat · 21/05/2014 19:59

Me and DH have a rule that if we wake baby while she's on the other's shift, she's ours to sooth and settle back to sleep.

But since he's leaving that's massively unfair to you to just leave you to sooth DS.

Original poster
teacher54321 · 21/05/2014 20:01

I have anxiety and PND related to DS sleeping/not sleeping and tend to overreact. I am much much better than I was, but tend to irrationally worry. DS probably won't wake up, but I can't relax worrying that he might.

OP posts:
fredfredgeorgejnr · 21/05/2014 20:02

So it's the only chance a father gets to spend with his son today, and you'd rather he spent it having a bath?

YABU, your DS and DP need to spend some time together.

CoffeeTea103 · 21/05/2014 20:03

Yanbu, it's such a small effort which would make both you and DS lives easier.

Pimpf · 21/05/2014 20:04

Yanbu. He could have had a quick bath, he could have a bath with ds, 2 birds, 1 stone.

It's not fair on you or your ds, so your dh is being an arse

makeminea6x · 21/05/2014 20:05

Could he have a bath with DS, as part of bedtime routine? 2 birds, 1 stone?

makeminea6x · 21/05/2014 20:05

Sorry x post!

GreenishMe · 21/05/2014 20:06

Couldn't DH have his bath with DS...that way he gets to play with his son and have his bath before DS goes to sleep?

wheresthebeach · 21/05/2014 20:07

We ended up with post it notes on the creaky floorboards to notify all of us (two step kids) which boards outside DD bedroom squeaked and would wake her up. Anyone who ignored the post it notes had to deal with screaming baby...including 7 year old ss. Everyone...everyone...stepped lightly.

YANBU

EverythingsDozy · 21/05/2014 20:07

HIBU
Nothing to add, just wanted you to have another vote! Smile

Original poster
teacher54321 · 21/05/2014 20:08

I think quick bath or bath with DS. Will suggest tomorrow...

OP posts:
Pimpf · 21/05/2014 20:09

Great minds and all that!

neiljames77 · 21/05/2014 20:10

Why doesn't he have a bath AFTER he's been working nights?
I do. Maybe he doesn't get as dirty as me though.

landrover · 21/05/2014 20:10

Deffo bath with DS great idea , 2 birds with one stone and all x

mathanxiety · 21/05/2014 20:13

He is being doubly unreasonable if he takes his bath (1) when he knows DS will be disturbed and (2) when he knows you have anxiety and PND and issues about DS sleeping.

Is he trying to tell you he thinks you need to get over yourself?
Who told you you tend to 'overreact'?

YANBU

BlondieBrownie · 21/05/2014 20:15

YANBU.

Original poster
teacher54321 · 21/05/2014 20:17

Tbf DS is a usually a reasonable sleeper and is unlikely to wake. But I worry about the possibility. A lot.

I say that I overreact, it's true!

OP posts:
queenofthepirates · 21/05/2014 20:22

I almost pushed someone down a flight of stairs when they caused a noise and woke my baby (I might add I didn't actually push them). 'Tis an awful thing to do.

curiousuze · 21/05/2014 20:22

YANBU my husband does nights as well, we have the world's creakiest old house and 18 month old DS who is a shit sleeper. The FUCKING RACKET DH makes doing simple things like cleaning his teeth before he leaves is unreal. And his tip toeing is noisier than his normal walking, god love him.

curiousuze · 21/05/2014 20:24

And he never steps over the three creaky floorboards outside DS's door Angry

BrianButterfield · 21/05/2014 20:29

Can't he run his bath while DS is going to bed?

CrohnicallyHungry · 21/05/2014 20:34

I think I'm swinging back towards the middle here, as you say he's unlikely to wake. I said YANBU earlier based on my experience- DH woke DD up the other night by sneezing downstairs, so a bath (next door to DD's room) is v risky indeed.

What I tend to do is run the bath (very hot) while I am getting DD ready for bed, so once she is in bed and settled the bath is the right temperature. You can actually bath quite quietly if you don't have to turn the taps on.

curlous DH is the same. And why can't he turn the handle and gently pull it to when he shuts the door, instead of just banging it shut?

pictish · 21/05/2014 20:37

Yabu. I have three kids and have never tiptoed around avoiding making noise because they are asleep.

pictish · 21/05/2014 20:38

And you say he is unlikely to wake?
Yabvu!

neiljames77 · 21/05/2014 20:52

If you lose this vote teacher54321 , will you show him the result of this poll or will you have the thread deleted and pretend it never happened? Grin