to have lost sympathy with friend still moaning about a broken heart after six months

[brt100]

I'm really at my Whits end, I mean it happened months ago and still she's blaming him for many of her problems and saying stuff like "if I die, tell people I died of a broken heart". I was sympathetic to begin with, btbh not supprised he broke up with her and I just replied to that text with "have a spa day!".

That kind of dramatics would irritate me as well.

I can't be doing with needy and negative people.

I have a friend who still goes on when pissed on gin about the love of her life leaving her 10 years ago.

I did lol at have a spa day.

I can see how it would be frustrating to have to listen to her talking about this still. However I have been the broken hearted person and it took years for me to recover (this was teenage first love though). It sounds like she's got stuck and needs help to move on. Maybe you could suggest she could see her GP for a referral for talking therapy or find someone privately, or encourage her to start dating again, she might only move on when someone better comes along.

YANBU to find it annoying.

Is she very attention-seeking in other aspects of life as well?

We all recover at our own pace. There isn't a "right" length of time to get over a break-up.

If you feel less than sympathetic then it would be kinder to distance yourself.

I went through similar some time ago when a friend was devastated at the ending of a long-term relationship but I held fast and supported her through all of it. It was tiring at times but she was my good friend and she deserved my support.

Do you think that the world has to operate according to your version of what is an acceptable time frame?

Yabu and uncaring.

How long was they together.

If DH left me it would take me a huge amount of time to get over. Been together 10 years married 3 years.

Exbhusbband had a cry went on a few benders

Ex after him it took a year and half to feel the least bit over him, and in some ways it still chains like a batch.he will be my one that got away.
I'm glad I had good friends who listened and let me randomly cry 'though it's rarely cry at all'

Is your friend able to give support back? Or talk about other stuff to?
That will affect my response

How old is she?

I can imagine that would be rather irritating after 6 months, and your reply to her text was cracking!

I do not think yabu

(Though strangely I do occasionally think about my first 'love' more than 35 years later)

^what ICan said. If my DH of 6 years left me I'd be devastated and probably not completely over it in 6 months.

Yes but the am dram is a bit much. Ok to not be over it, but tell people I died of a broken heart is get a grip time (unless she is 15).

Depends how long they were together I think.

However my Ex blamed me for the break up of him and his current girlfriend yesterday - the reason it's my fault? I had the audacity to break up with him 7 years ago. I suggested he get a grip.

It would take me months, if not years, to get over OH. But I wouldn't wallow and I certainly wouldn't be talking about dying of a broken heart.

You are quite right, people should get over break ups to a timetable that you set for them.

I'm still struggling after 5 months so YABabitU because she clearly is still hurting which is natural. However she is being a little dramatic.

Yabu.

Took me 6 years to get over a broken heart.

It took me a good 4 years to get over the breakup of my first relationship. I was a fucking mess. I hope to god that I wasn't this much of a pain in the arse though and didn't ever say anything so dramatic to my friends or family!

I ended up having therapy and maybe your friend needs that?

She might be being over-dramatic, but you don't sound like you care much about her if you're finding her annoying and no longer have any sympathy with her.

Break ups take the time they take to heal - some people will get over them quickly, some will take longer - if you're a real friend to her, you'll be there and listen for as long as it takes. If you can't do that, then tell her now so she can find some kinder friends.

"I did lol at have a spa day."

It's the MN answer to all female heartache!

How long was she with him and what were the circumstances did they live together have a family etc? Like others have said if i split with dh who I have been with nine years and have two kids with it would take me years probably to get over it .

YANBU. But then, my child died. Sort of put things in perspective .

Sorry to read that expat

OP, I hear you on this one! Don't read the dating thread in the Relationships section 'cos you'll end up apoplectic!

It's a constant droning cycle about some loser they randomly dated for a short time and they are still be obsessing about it weeks later. There's an awful lot of text angst thrown in for good measure - I think in real life some of them must be exhausting company.

I really don't get it??

Goodadvice and the other non sympathetic posters. Well heaven help you if you really take time to get over things.

I generally pick myself up and after a whirlwind relationship of 3 months (intense) last year I recovered in a few weeks.

However rewind 2 years suffering bullying at work and a nasty relationship and that took me a while and therapy.

If you're not sympathetic to someone else's problems by all means tell them but its kindest to let them sort it out and listen if need be. Whether it takes months or weeks is up to them in my opinion.

I'm not saying she should be over it! Something's you never get over.

But still sending me self pity texts so long after I find a bit too much, there is nothing I can do to helpl and there is only so many times I can say he was a jerk!