To think stopping breastfeeding will stop DD's hourly awakenings at night?

[ShineSmile]

DD is 12 months. Wakes up every hour at night and has been waking up for the past 6 months or so.

She has multiple allergies, all under control now. Drs can't find a medical reason for the awakenings. I'm exhausted. I don't think I have the strength to do sleep training. However, going cold turkey with breastfeeding is possible.

If I stop breastfeeding will this put an end to her hourly awakenings at night or will it just make things worse? I feel a bit guilty to stop due to the allergies, as breast milk will probably be most beneficial for her?

I was at the same point as you when DS was 7 months. He was waking every single hour.
A friend pointed out that no baby of that age NEEDS to feed at night.
So I stopped at night, carried on feeding during the day. Now, at 10 months, he sleeps from 7 - 7.
I did controlled crying, which not everyone agrees with, but it worked and we are all a lot happier because we are all getting a good night's sleep!

Up, how did you know he had asthma? How was it diagnosed? I'm wondering whether my LO might have asthma.

Wuthering, I wish I had the energy to consider CC

it might. but what if it doesn't? will you still be glad you stopped? I don't think going cold turkey is the right way to go (or very fair) but you need to do what you think is right. try posting on the breast/bottle feeding boards too. it's really hard with all night feeds but it's possible to find a middle ground and cut down or gradually reduce for less drama

Night wean. Much easier than I had anticipated after an initial struggle.

I wouldn't feel guilty about stopping if I were you. You've done it for a year after all.
But to make it easy on you and dd, I'd do it gradually.
Whatever way you do it will involve some screaming and moaning in the night maybe - but it's short term only.

How about expressing some, so she can still have it but gets less reliant on it coming directly from you?

I gradually weaned ds by offering water from a bottle.
Getting dh to do some of it helped too.
Caused a stink at first but it was that or nothing and gradually dropped to him waking once for a sip of water, then slept through.

I meant express some for use in the day time, not at night.

We had to drum the idea that you only have milk in the day. Not easy with a 1.5 year old. But, I wish I'd done it sooner!

Oh god that is awful It really can't be good for her either.

You must be exhausted beyond belief. Do you have a partner who can help?

I would try feeding as often as you can in the daytime, in a dark quiet room - the curtains of my son's room are never open for this reason!

It'll take a little while to wean your breasts and her at night. When I decided to do it I decided that he had a feed at 7 pm - so having another feed at 11pm and one at 3am and then his morning feed at 6am seemed reasonable. He absolutely couldn't need any more milk than that, he must just be soothing himself.

Every time he woke up that wasn't at the times I thought was reasonable I got my partner to rock him to sleep. If the baby was really upset he would offer water in case he was thirsty. It'll take a little while to train her that she doesn't get milk and a nipple every time she wakes up. When you put it into place you will be 10 times more exhausted than normal but try and see it through. She should hopefully take more milk in the day time to compensate what she missed at night.... and therefore need less milk the next night.

If she's still waking up every hour after a week of that I would have a look at other things - like whether you could try just the mattress on the floor rather than the cot, or black out blinds etc

This is a really really good book - with lots of different little ideas rather than "You must do this or your baby wont sleep"

www.amazon.co.uk/The-No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Through/dp/0071381392

At that age, I'd just night wean and continue bf during the day - as long as you are sure there are no health issues causing the waking, that is. When DD2 started falling asleep at let down during night feeds, I night weaned her and did pick up/put down - it took 2 nights and then she slept through. I'd offer water in a sippy cup, no boob.

However, people who say babies over 6 months do not ever need night feeds are just plain wrong. DD2 took night feeds at 11.30 and 2.30 like clockwork until almost 1. She would take both sides in 15 minutes flat and go straight back down. Don't tell me that was comfort feeding - bollocks to that, she was hungry. Babies develop at different rates.

This isn't an all or nothing situation. I'd go with a bottle every other feed, see if it is longer till the next breast feed after a bottle than it is to a bottle feed after breast feeding.

You don't need to continue with breast feeding although I completely understand why many do.

Where does she sleep?

DS was in with us until about 17 months, and woke frequently. I started to night wean at around 12 months, only feeding at what I thought were reasonable intervals if he woke. If he woke at other times, I just tried to shush-pat him back to sleep in his cot, kept repeating 'it's bed-time, night-night'. Eventually got him down to 1-2 feeds. Then we moved him into his own room and within a few days he was sleeping through.

I think the proximity of me (and my boobs) were all he could see and think of whenever he woke, and we were disturbing him too (DP can be a bit of a snorer!). Putting him in his own room gave him more peace, and if he woke slightly, he just settled back as he couldn't see/hear me, and therefore the thought of boob didn't come to mind so much .

But, he has no health or allergy issues, so what worked for him won't necessarily work for your DD. I'm still bf him at 22 months, but we are down to 1-2 a day, mainly bedtime / nap times (although the little bugger sleeps fine at nursery 4 days a week - he just won't sleep for me without a fix first!!)

My DD2 woke me every 40 mins until she was 9 months old & I ran out of patience one day (I had a non-napping nearly 2yo as well!). I told DH he was doing the night shift with a bottle. DD was not impressed the first couple of wakeups, then she slept till morning. The second night she slept 7 - 7. Tbh I wish I had done it sooner

That sounds really hard going and I can really sympathise. But no, stopping breastfeeding won't stop the hourly waking. DS was FF and didn't sleep through until he was 18mos where as BF DD slept through at 8 weeks.

at 12 mos old she should be getting enough food during the day to see her through the night. Is there any way of increasing her solids through the day to see if that helps instead?

DD woke up every 2 hours to bf until 2yo when I couldn't take it anymore and I did a variant of the Jay Gordon method.
drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

For a few days things got worse, but then she adjusted and she did start sleeping through most nights. Even when she wakes up now she can go back to sleep with cuddles. She's 3yo now and still bfs 3 times a day (morning, before afternoon nap and before night time).

Yes yes to the jay Gordon method, we did it with our ds when he was 13 months old ( I was newly pregnant and the lazy nighttime half asleep latch was really uncomfortable and I was just not coping) I still feed ds in the day, he understands "no boobie in the bed"

I didn't nightwean to improve sleep but it was a happy side effect. Before we nightweaned ds woke multiple times and would feed for hours and hours.

The first night when ds woke he cried ( :( ) for about 45 mins, I cuddled him and reassured him that he could have boobie in the morning but now the boobie was all gone but he could have a cuddle. He eventually went to sleep, the 2nd night he woke and asked for a cuddle, no crying, no asking for boobie, he went to sleep after 15 mins. The 3rd night he slept 6-6!

Thanks all for your advice and kind words

She sleeps with me and refuses to sleep in the cot. I can put her in her own room, but I'm thinking of getting her to sleep with her dad and refuse feeds for certain periods in the night.

Is 11pm to 6am a reasonable time for no feeds? Or maybe 10pm to 5am?

I like the jay gorden method but it seems far too long.

Shine, I know you probably have, but have you cut all the allergens from your diet? I found out about my LO's allergies before he'd had any solids.

Oh and I night weaned all 3 of mine around twelve months by forcing dh to do all night duty. After a week of that they all gave up. Good luck, it is such a hard thing.

Rednellie, yes, we are both on a strict dairy, egg, soya and wheat free diet.

OP it doesn't have to be long. I night-weaned DS around 15 months in less than a week with hardly any tears with his method (and DS has always been a cryer - I just think we were both ready)

DD is proving more difficult but you can adapt it to your needs and I've managed to get her from about 2 hourly wakings for both sides to about 3 wakings per night, one side then cuddled to sleep - usually a quick strop, occasionally a big cry but once I've said no I stick to it and offer other reassurance.

but I think you need to prepare yourself that she may still wake even if you wean so that's one of the reasons I wouldn't recommend going cold turkey. plus you'll be at major risk of mastitis.

I do disagree that no baby needs milk at night after 8 months or whatever, all babies are different, if they drink gallons at every waking then they're hungry but it may be a case of offering more during the day or like a pp said in a dark room if distractable.

it can be done kindly, I hope it works for you

Start off with 11pm - 5am (if she wakes that is) and then go earlier in the evening and later in the morning.

I remember waking up myself - so annoying - and wishing ds would wake up too early in the morning as my boobs were like rocks.

I dealt with the co sleeping after the feeding as it was too much to cope with. But I think I remember Dh sleeping with him and ds sleeping much better. Ds still creeps in now and again.

Much like many others on here, I handed night duty over to DH for a few days. After 3 nights of screaming DS suddenly realised that there wasn't going to be any night time milk any more, and went from waking hourly to sleeping through. He was 14 months.

Does she self-settle at bedtime? If you feed her to sleep initially then she will need feeding back to sleep every time she rouses during the night.

I don't know that stopping breastfeeding will automatically stop her waking at night, but I would teach her to self-settle and night wean.

I thought the jay Gordon method would take ages but it really didn't.

The only problem we had was ds kept waking early for his first feed so now we give tge first feed around 7.30ish after breakfast and he has stopped the ridiculously early waking.