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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think stopping breastfeeding will stop DD's hourly awakenings at night?

53 replies

ShineSmile · 21/05/2014 09:09

DD is 12 months. Wakes up every hour at night and has been waking up for the past 6 months or so.

She has multiple allergies, all under control now. Drs can't find a medical reason for the awakenings. I'm exhausted. I don't think I have the strength to do sleep training. However, going cold turkey with breastfeeding is possible.

If I stop breastfeeding will this put an end to her hourly awakenings at night or will it just make things worse? I feel a bit guilty to stop due to the allergies, as breast milk will probably be most beneficial for her?

OP posts:
jamaisjedors · 21/05/2014 16:05

We did the Jay Gordon thing and it really didn't take long.

One thing that helped was sending DH in sometimes.

I night-weaned DS2 when he was about 14mths, he went on to Bf til he was 4 (despite me being back at work full-time) so it doesn't have to mean the end of BF - unless you want it to.

jamaisjedors · 21/05/2014 16:05

Yes to own room - DS was in with DS12, who never woke despite all the tantrums.

rednellie · 21/05/2014 22:37

That's good to know Shine. I'm on year two of no cheese...Sad

carabos · 21/05/2014 22:43

DS2 fed every 45 mins round the clock. I weaned cold turkey at 27 months and haven't had a broken night with him since apart from coming in pissed at 4am. He's 21.

Namelessonsie · 21/05/2014 22:52

I night weaned dd1 at 2.5 after 5 months of her and dd2 both waking every 2 hours to feed. Alternately.

Initially I did no feeds between 11pm and 4am for the toddler, she got crazy angry at hearing the baby feed for about a week, then was fine. I cosleep with both, one either side. Then I extended it to no feed between bedtime and 6am.

Extending this to 7am didn't work as she would just wake up for the day at 6, while a quick feed means she will go back to sleep for a bit.

Good luck x

Doooooowop · 21/05/2014 22:52

Try a FF at about 11ish?

trixymalixy · 21/05/2014 22:59

Are you sure you have all the allergies under control? My DS also has multiple allergies. He slept terribly until he was 18 months old. We cut out soya from his diet, pretty much the next day he slept through and has done ever since.

trixymalixy · 21/05/2014 23:02

As well as soya DS is/w allergic to dairy, egg, soya, sesame, chickpeas, tomatoes, lentils, beans and now prawns Sad.

Namelessonsie · 21/05/2014 23:05

Lentils? Never heard of anyone being allergic to lentils before! I would hate to be the food preparer in your house, that's quite a list, poor boy :(

Purpleroxy · 21/05/2014 23:06

Yes, IMO it will help. Both mine woke in the night to feed until I stopped breast feeding at just over 1yo.

trixymalixy · 21/05/2014 23:24

It's not that unusual nameless, lentils are in the same family as peanuts, there are loads of others on the allergy boards allergic to lentils. DS has actually grown out of lentils, chickpeas, sesame and soya thankfully. It's not that bad preparing food once you get used to it. Soya is the worst though, it's in fecking everything. It's easier to get gluten free bread than soya free bread!!

trashcanjunkie · 21/05/2014 23:55

haven't read the whole thread, but would like to suggest you 'batten down the hatches' from say midnight till six, it takes a few days til they get the message. I did this with my twins at about the same age, and it meant we all slept a bit better, but I continued to feed them until much later when they self weaned.

You sound marvellous, lucky dd

parentalunit · 22/05/2014 00:03

No, but it might make it more difficult to get him back to sleep. The sleep thing will sort itself out eventually.

Have you tried knackering him out during the day? Play dates, lots of walking around/park playing on slides etc. Plus only napping when he needs to (you nap at the same time to get enough total sleep). Routine for night times, dinner, bath, stories, music goes on and lights go off, BF to sleep, lay on back. etc

Good luck.

maddening · 22/05/2014 01:02

Ds was older but it was his dad co sleeping with him that broke the night feed - he still bf at 3yr 4mths.

WutheringFrights · 22/05/2014 01:04

shine you said, in response to my earlier post, that you didn't know if you had the energy to do CC.
The question is - do you have the energy NOT to?
By the time DS was 7 months I was a zombie, I had had no decent sleep for such a long time and I honestly have no idea how I managed to function on a day to day basis.
I didn't think I would have the energy to do CC but I am so glad I kept going with it as now I have so much more energy during the day.
I am not telling you to do CC but others have suggested options that will be as effective and trust me if you can power through a few nights of a new routine it will be of such a huge benefit to you all.

DippyEggNSolders · 22/05/2014 06:20

Try a FF at about 11ish?

At 12 months and with a child who has allergies, this would be the last thing I'd try. When you've BF for this period of time, this advice, for me, was always disregarded (why feed for this long and then switch to FF) Confused

OP - you've a number of options and I'd agree with many of the above suggestions. My pennies worth to help:

  1. dr jay Gordon. The method is easy and suited for co sleeping. If you don't see instant results in 3 days, your dd probably is hungry during the night (not hourly hungry, but still hungry). like pointythings said, my dd fed like clockwork at 5.30am every day until 30 months. We night weaned at 13 months but that feed remained.

  2. DP/Dh to be 100% on board with method and rules. I printed, emailed and shoved it under his nose the method to him. I needed the support from him.

  3. work out your dd's clock. Above method is flexible, do what's best for you and her to stretch the night out

  4. start slowly changing bedtime for dd to be all about stories and cuddles, rather than milk and boobs. We did this over time, got her used to Dh, I'd go in feed, not let her fall asleep, come out, another story, repeat. She eventually got used to the fact I would feed but I wouldn't let her go to sleep on me.

  5. co sleeping. Your choice, you can still have a sleep through co sleeping baby, you'll always get babies who want comfort next to mum and ones that want there own space. How do you think she'd react not bring near you? My dd tool comfort from just touching my face when we night weanedx we slowly sussed night weaning and the began to move her to own cot. At 18 months we skipped cot full time and she went in to cot bed. That was our light bulb moment as she slept through on the first night!

Hope this helps OP.

Melonbreath · 22/05/2014 07:43

Yanbu.
I had the same problem albeit minus the health problems. Dd hit 14 months and one night i just snapped, I think it hit me that I hadn't had more than 2 hours sleep at a time in over a year and had reached the end of what I could stand.
I was a wreck and had been diagnosed with exhaustion by the GP. I was dizzy, clumsy, low blood pressure and fast heart rate. I had fallen over several times and had to go downstairs sitting down. Dd is not a napper either so no daytime sleeps!
Every time dd woke up in the night I offered her water, then I would kiss her and put her back to bed, returning every 5 minutes for a cuddle and water offer. It was controlled crying i suppose but I never extended the time.
It took 3 nights, and for the last 3 months i have had full night's sleep. Even teething seems to be OK, maybe one
Waking when I bung calpol in her and cuddle for 10 minutes.
I feel amazing. Dd is happier having got the sleep she needs and now I can go out on an evening too if I want.
Just not living in the fug of sleep deprivation makes me feel so much better. I'm fine now.

trixymalixy · 22/05/2014 08:15

If you did stop breast feeding, what would you give as a substitute? You'd have to have a special hypoallergenic formula prescribed by the GP as really with that list of allergies only something like Koko (coconut milk) would be available to buy in the supermarket and it isn't nutritionally adequate for a 12 month old.

If you can I would continue breast feeding and try some of the night weaning methods.

Melonbreath · 22/05/2014 10:52

I don't think it's necessarily a case of stopping breastfeeding but just stopping it at night. With my dd she associated breastfeeding with going to sleep and couldn't go to sleep unless she was clamped on. Plus the frequent waking were habit too. I didn't stop feeding
During the day.
If you do decide to nightwean OP step up the cuddles during the day.

Original poster
ShineSmile · 22/05/2014 14:08

Thanks everyone! Smile

Im going to try the jay Gordon method.

DD moves ALOT in her sleep (from one side of bed to other) and sits herself up when she wakes up from sleep. Is that normal?

OP posts:
Original poster
ShineSmile · 22/05/2014 14:10

Trixy, I haven't thought of lentils as an allergy. She had lentils yesterday and today, and hasn't come up with a visible rash or anything like that. How would I know?

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 22/05/2014 14:41

You poor thing, you must be utterly cross-eyed with tiredness Thanks

You've done 12 months - she's had a great start in life for a child with lots of allergies. No one human would think that weaning her was a bad thing now. Will it stop the wakenings? Debatable...

If it were me, I'd keep up the BF'ing until ready to wean full stop because the alternative is likely to be such a hassle. If she will happily drink alternatives during daylight hours then I'd just start weaning.

For you though, weaning is firstly moving to an actual schedule of feeds, then reducing them. At 12 months, most children won't have more than 3 bottles of formula a day, sometimes 4. First thing, pre lunchtime [post lunch] nap, and bedtime.

I'd move her to her own room tonight. It's the start of a 3 day weekend so DH can help do Fri & Sat nights, plus Sunday if all goes well. I say help as often I don't think it's constructive to just rope in a spouse who doesn't usually get up to do it all. It just bewilders the child. Ultimately once DH is back at work, it will often fall to you to sort anyway so you need to find your own way through it.

As she's feeding so often, I'd feed at 6.30, wake her for a feed at 10 and then send DH in for the overnight wakenings. In a few weeks, I'd drop the "dream feed" all together.

parentalunit · 22/05/2014 23:22

After 12 months, I don't think you need any formula. Cow's milk should be fine. (unless she has allergies to cow's milk?) Yogurt, cheese etc are also dairy and provide lots of fat and protein.

Good luck :)

trixymalixy · 22/05/2014 23:32

Yep cow's milk allergy. RTFT.

ritachaher · 22/05/2014 23:36

Yes, stop! Might help