Fed up with daughter not respecting the value of anything

[pingufan]

Daughter is 11. She's a big girl for her age and I'm constantly buying clothes as before she's worn something it's too small for her. She's now in adult size 12 and is 5'3. She'll not take care of any of her clothes, she'll throw them on the floor, leave them bunched up in the bottom of her wardrobe etc after pulling stuff off the hangers to try on.

The main reason for my rant is shoes. My brother bought her real uggs for Christmas, today I go to move them and notice that she's torn the sole almost completely off. This happens to every pair of shoes she owns, within weeks she's torn the sole off one. I told her off, went to pick up her £32 Clarks school shoes that we bought the weekend before last to find the sole peeling back on those too!!

I could fecking scream!! She was sat there in her iPad so I shouted at her about her shoes and that she had no respect for anything. As I was doing that my attention was drawn to the headphones she was wearing, yes you've guessed it, the wire was hanging out of one earphone, she'd fucking broken those too.

So she's been sent to her room while I calm down. I could honestly kill her. Everything costs a fortune and she thinks it grows on the tree in the garden. I've glued the two pairs of shoes but it's not the bloody point.

How the hell can you keep ripping soles off shoes????? I have shoes for years I don't keep ripping soles off shoes!!!!!

Size12 is way too hefty for an 11 yr old!!

It is not her fault her shoes are collapsing, it is the way she is walking, you need to apologise to her big time.You sound resentful about her size and needing more clothes.How do you think that makes her feel?

My teen was like that.. shoes lasted 4 weeks on the nose, I felt almost sorry for them as I was buying them. Expensive clothes would get ripped, lent out and never returned or lost.

In the end I bought cheap... shoezone shoes, george clothes until he started looking after his stuff. The first item of clothing from a trendy shop i'd bought in a long time for christmas he's really taken care of, he's started to develop his own style and things get looked after now.

I really wouldn't spend the money while she's at that age.. there's just no point.

She was sat there in her iPad - an 11 year old has an iPad and expensive new clothes and UGG boots and you wonder why she doesn't respect the value of things - my 13 year old son saved for his first Playstation which he bought second hand when he was 12, he doesn't get bought expensive 'fashionable' clothes, he has basics from supermarkets and charity shops. If he wants designer labels he is quite capable of understanding that he buys them for himself.

He has learned to save his Christmas and birthday money and gets an allowance of £10 a month which he saves as well.

You need to toughen up

Uggs are no more than expensive slippers so YABU to expect them to last as shoes for a 10 year old.

Just on the tidying thing, maybe she needs a bit of help and guidance to get that going. I remember a thread where a mum said she didn't do the tidying but would direct it, IYKWIM, cos her daughter didn't really know where to start, and how to keep things under control.