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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to purposely expose my 2yo to chicken pox?

110 replies

TinyTheTortoise · 20/05/2014 17:56

Opinions please.
My 2 yo DD is in good health for once, but my friends child has come down with chicken pox, my other friend looks after this child for an hour or so after school while her mum works, and it's likely that her grandaughter (2yo) will already have the virus, meaning my DD could as well as they socialise every morning and every afternoon on school run, and often at least one day a week atm is spent with them. They often cuddle/hold hands too.
So the chances are my little one has already been exposed to it, and there would be nothing I could do about that. However I want to get it out of the way, and we are planning on making sure my friends child is around the 2yo all day tomorrow.. but another friend of mine thinks this is a bad idea, and I shouldn't deliberately expose her to it as it's better if she *never gets it??

*Surely she is bound to get it at some point? I've never known anyone to have never had it?

So, good people of MN, what do you think? I'm happy to hear valid arguments on both sides.

OP posts:

missymayhemsmum · 20/05/2014 21:09

I don't know about the pros and cons of vaccination, for most children chicken pox is a fairly mild illness, and you might as well get it over with. 2 is a good age for it, not old enough to be continually looking in the mirror at the spots but not a little baby either. So if you have a week free, stock up on calpol, calamine lotion (and cooling lavender gel which also helps avoid infection), kids multivitamins (for when she's off her food) ice lollies, juice and dvds and arrange a play date. In fact stock up anyway, as as you say, chances are she's incubating it already.

Either that or book for the vaccine soon instead.
Not getting chicken pox and getting it as an adult has got to be the worst of all worlds.

kali110 · 20/05/2014 21:24

Not all kids get it in childhood. not all adults are severely affected. I didn't get chicken pox till i was 22 and didn't even know id got it!i thought i'd been bitten by something.

popmimiboo · 20/05/2014 21:28

SIL's niece on the other side of the family died from a brain condition caused by chicken pox, aged 2.

Fortunately this is rare but why on earth take the risk on purpose?

Keepthechangeyoufilthyanimal · 20/05/2014 21:31

Haven't read all the posts but my input is...much better to have it as a child (as I did) than as an adult (as DH did at age 24) it was absolutely horrendous for him and he still has lots of scars from it. Seeing the agony he went through with it was awful, whereas my only memory of it aged 4 was bring allowed to watch the wizard of oz on a school day while being served my favourite snacks ok was probably an awful time for my parents but I plan to not worry too much about my DC catching it when they are young.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/05/2014 21:32

love its only availible on the NHS if you are in close contact with someone especially vulnerable to CP like someone undergoing chemo or with no spleen,that sort of thing

Other wise you pay for it privately it costs between £60 - approx £155 in most areas and you have one jab then a booster 6-8 weeks later

QOD · 20/05/2014 21:40

Would you like to meet my niece? She was 2.2 when my two SILs decided to intentionally mix their children when dn1 had the pox.

She is 22 and can walk mostly unsupported, she can't tell the time, but she's been trying since she was 13 and has almost got it. She can understand everything I say but laughs inappropriately a lot, I have no clue mostly as to what she's saying.

Dn1 has a degree
Dn2 has a big smile and a cheeky face

The two SILs relationship was destroyed.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 20/05/2014 21:46

Not that keen on seeing someone like my DD used as some sort of scare story, sorry.

BuggersMuddle · 20/05/2014 21:57

No really wouldn't. Too many risks. I genuinely don't understand why we don't vaccinate in this country. I had it as a child with no real ill-effects, other than a small facial scar (and it is really small), but I know many for whom that was not the case.

bumbleymummy · 20/05/2014 22:04

Ok, you are going to get lots of horror stories on here but the truth is that in the vast majority of cases, CP means a few uncomfortable itchy days and little else. HOWEVER, in rare cases it can cause complications. The decision really comes down to whether or not you can cope with the small risk of possible complications knowing that you intentionally exposed her. TBH, she will probably catch it somewhere (most children do!) and there is still the small risk of complications from it regardless of when or where she gets it so it's really whether or not you would feel horribly guilty if she's miserable. It's up to you. If she does get it, make sure that you keep her in so she's not putting other people (who may not want to be exposed to it) at risk.

wobblyweebles · 20/05/2014 22:18

According to WebMD

It is also possible for a person who has been vaccinated for chickenpox to develop chickenpox at some later point in life. When that happens, the disease is almost always milder and the recovery more rapid than for people who have not had the shots.

cerealqueen · 20/05/2014 22:24

Why ask a group of random strangers the potential risks you want to take with your child's health? Go in the internet and google 'chicken pox' and you will find out all you need to know.

AElfgifu · 20/05/2014 23:20

You are wrong to think you can "get it over with" by making a child have CP. It is NEVER "over with". The virus NEVER leaves the body. It can return as CP if your child ever suffers any sort of immune deficiency, and it can return as shingles an unlimited number of times, and this is worse than CP. Working in nursing homes, I have seen a significant number of people at the end of their lives suffer terribly with shingles, some for the first time, some for the 3rd/4th/5th/10th time. What should be a peaceful happy time during their last few weeks or months becomes a torture. At this stage, those who have never had CP are very glad they haven't!

ThatBloodyWoman · 20/05/2014 23:26

The vaccine wasn't avaliable to us on the nhs.

How far do those who for some reason haven't had their dc's vaccinated, go to avoid it?

ThatBloodyWoman · 20/05/2014 23:31

When someone I know had to avoid chickenpox, because of a life threatening illness and the likely serious potential consequences of catching it, it was a nightmare!

The entire family had to change plans and be constantly vigilant to avoid contact.

Boomerwang · 20/05/2014 23:39

I'm 34 and have never had chicken pox. Don't expose your child to it on purpose, there's no need. If it's going to happen, it will, but don't increase the odds unnecessarily.

ditsydoll · 21/05/2014 00:11

Mine have just had horrendous chicken pox.
Dd had them everywhere including throat and genitals and ended up with a nasty infection & scarring.
Ds also got them equally as bad and ended up on anti bs also.
Don't do it.

sashh · 21/05/2014 06:32

Lots of people I know broke bones as children, would you break your child's arm to 'get it over with'?

You can have CP more than once.
It can cause serious damage to a child.
It can kill a child.

please don't.

ikeaismylocal · 21/05/2014 06:39

Sashh that is such a ridiculous thing to say. Breaking a bone gives you no chance of protection against other broken bones, having chicken pox gives the vast majority of people immunity.

ProudAS · 21/05/2014 06:48

DH and BIL both had CP as adults and were very ill with BIL suffering complications.

DH wishes he'd been deliberately exposed as a child but go with what your conscience tells you.

HouseofEliot · 21/05/2014 07:23

It can be extremely dangerous. My fit healthy toddler got it and ended up on a drip for 2 days.

bumbleymummy · 21/05/2014 07:39

Just to balance things out a bit - my two boys had it. Slight temp on the first day, a bit itchy at night but otherwise absolutely fine and no complications. My nephews and nieces have all been pretty much the same. This is the case for the vast majority of children. Yes, complications can happen but when lots of the rare cases get posted on the same thread it makes the risk seem more inflated than it actually is.

sashh · 21/05/2014 08:41

Breaking a bone gives you no chance of protection against other broken bone

And CP doesn't always give you protection against CP and you can't know if it will. SO yes it is as pointless as breaking an arm. All it does is risk your child's health now and in the future.

bumbleymummy · 21/05/2014 08:50

'Doesn't always' - In the majority of cases it does. This, in comparison to a broken bone never protecting you from another broken bone. I agree with ikea, it's a bad analogy.

Joysmum · 21/05/2014 09:22

Times have changed. I was exposed as a child and my daughter was too.

mercibucket · 21/05/2014 09:34

my mum still talks with bitter regret about the cp party, so 40 years of regret is what you sign up for if it goes wrong

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